Hi, new here, just starting to start my transition. I hope. I'm excited I have an appointment with a gender therapist in two weeks and I can't wait. Do u gals have any advise for a newbie like myself!!
Welcome :) My advice is to take your time, even though everyone wants to rush. Take the time to read and take in as much information as possible, you're definitely in the right place. Fantastic people to boot. Best wishes to you.
Good luck, welcome to the forums, and I have to say, thou shalt explore!
Exploration, to me, is the key to a wholesome transition. :)
Just keep reading and learning about all that you can. This forum has so much information I love it. It has helped me soo many times. The people here are very helpful and nice. I'm so glad there is a place for us like this. :D
If you want to fit in as female, start people watching NOW. Take everything in and practice them when you can. Look at what women your age wear. Listen to the way they speak, the words they use, body language. Watch the way they walk and stand. Everything needs to be seen and learned. Do the things and be who makes you comfortable, but in the end most of us face a major uphill battle of acceptance into gender that almost nobody else has to fight. It's good to at least have knowledge about what makes women come off as female before you yourself come off as female.
It's amazing what knowledge of the female mind and anatomy can do for passing... and acceptance. A trans woman can pass 100% and then open her mouth and draw so much attention because the voice is undoubtedly fueled by testosterone. We could be invited for drinks from the girls and go, only to sit in front of the TV and watch Nascar while downing beer after beer, zoned out in our own world.. most women are going to look at you differently, even if they still don't have a clue you're trans.
There's so much to learn about gender and it's fascinating :) and very helpful for us when we know...
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 24, 2013, 01:43:45 PM
If you want to fit in as female, start people watching NOW. Take everything in and practice them when you can. Look at what women your age wear. Listen to the way they speak, the words they use, body language. Watch the way they walk and stand. Everything needs to be seen and learned. Do the things and be who makes you comfortable, but in the end most of us face a major uphill battle of acceptance into gender that almost nobody else has to fight. It's good to at least have knowledge about what makes women come off as female before you yourself come off as female.
It's amazing what knowledge of the female mind and anatomy can do for passing...
Alainaluvsu fairly covered it.. I would just add that start working on your voice now. Women come in all shapes, sizes and physical appearances so looks are not as outting as your voice. Speech patterns, intonation and prosody(the use of pitch, loudness ,rhythm and tempo in speech) will help or hinder your ease of acceptance profoundly. :) Finding your 'voice' is more about learning to turn down the bass range, like on a stereo. If you listen to peoples voices you will hear that male and female voices fall somewhat within the same range pitch wise for talking. Some are lower some higher but simply practicing not using the lower register will give you a more realistic, passable, tone then trying to use a falsetto.. aka mickey/mini mouse sound. candyFLA ( 008 transgender voice-1) probably has the easiest explanation of how to do it. I still have a link if you wont it. not sure if I am allowed to post it here.
EDIT: As Anna pointed out below.. we all proceed at different speeds. Voice takes a bit of time to work on and get strong enough to talk for more then a few min.
I had never really trained mine when I was younger (16) and got away with a smile and a nod at checkout counters quite some time.. ...till one day I was engaged into a conversation by a sales girl that a nod or smile wouldn't get me thru.. that sucked.. and I resolved to change that. Even if you try for only a couple minutes every so often it will help and hopefully get you thru. Also.. not to keep pushing .. remember what you hear in your head is not what others hear. Most everyone who has ever heard a recording of their voice is in shock at first with what they hear. Whenever you choose to sometime down the line its not a bad idea to record yourself to see how your coming along. :)
Welcome! :) My advice is to keep in mind that there is no one example about what it's like to be trans so don't let yourself get discouraged if you don't 100% match somebody else here.
Patience, fortitude, perseverance. Also, if you and your therapist decide that HRT is the right route for you, and only you can truly know that, you don't have to tell everyone right away, no matter how strong the urge is. It's tempting to come out after years of hiding but find your own pace. Most importantly, be happy and do what make you happy, not what makes others happy. To thin ownself be true.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 24, 2013, 01:43:45 PM
If you want to fit in as female, start people watching NOW. Take everything in and practice them when you can. Look at what women your age wear. Listen to the way they speak, the words they use, body language. Watch the way they walk and stand. Everything needs to be seen and learned....
...We could be invited for drinks from the girls and go, only to sit in front of the TV and watch Nascar while downing beer after beer, zoned out in our own world.. most women are going to look at you differently, even if they still don't have a clue you're trans.
^THIS...Great advice!