<Deep breath>
So I came out to my family about 2 days ago! My Mum knew and had known for about 2-3 weeks and was very supportive so we both took a "holiday" to see the rest of my family and I told them about it one on one starting wit my Dad then my brothers and their wives.
It was a huge initial shock for my Mum and just the same for my Dad, he never saw it coming in the slightest and was initially quite combative about how and why I feel this way but he fairly quickly came around to listening to me and by the end of a few days I was able to sit down and talk with him in more depth about long going issues (ie. crossdressing, envy of other girls and being unhappy with my body since, well, ever). He was fantastic about it all, he supports me even though he doesn't fully understand why but I'm going to give it a bit of time before talking about anything specific for transitioning.
Both my brothers were a fair shock to the system.
One I thought would be fairly understanding and I thought he was to begin with but then went in another direction and was actually quite verbally abusive and saying quite hurtful things (that will not be repeated) at one stage telling me I had no idea what I was getting into and that it was one of a million other things that is causing my "dysphoria" but by the end of the trip was able to sit and talk like a normal person (hahaha) but still had serious reservations, still believes that I am not actually trans and wants me to see a new HP and get at least 2-3 psyche opinions (which is a part of the legal process where I live anyway). Funnily enough I see that as a win.
His wife however was 100% cool with it! She did have to ask what "transgender" or "transsexual" meant but when I explained it she was totally cool, offered to do my eyebrows and we sat there talking about it all like a regular conversation that we always have.
My other brother was much more subdued in his reaction, I had to explain to him what "tg" and "ts" meant too and he still doesn't think that "its real" and that there is something else going on but he says he is keeping an open mind. One thing that
i know is coming is that he wondered why I needed to tell everyone and how it changes anything, under circumstances I wasn't prepared to go into a explanation about the term "transitioning", HRT and surgery. Yup, that will be another interesting conversation next time.
My brothers second wife was also totally cool with it and had a friend in high school who was trans but it sounded like she was more of a CD than ts, but its a start! I was also offered to have both my sister in laws to take me out for a girls night next time I'm up! I'll need to pack more clothes for that trip :)
So all in all, I've let them all know, that part is a huge weight off my chest and I can move on to other things from here, but I also recognise that it will be a long process for them to come to terms with what is happening to their "little brother". It was a damn hard thing to do and at times over this trip I was afraid of my own family, was truly scared of their reactions and have not been so anxious about anything since starting at a new school back 15 years ago.
I am also so thankful that both my parents have reacted the way they have and could not have hoped for anything better.
It is big news and "we" are a fairly macho family (myself excluded but not in their minds apparently), it will take time for them to come to terms with it, I have given them all a plethora of information about the process and have made it absolutely clear that if they want or need to talk to me about anything I will be 100% honest and will answer everything, but also warn them to think about the questions before they ask because they mightn't hear what they want to hear (ie. HRT and surgery would have been a very hard discussion at this time) and I wont hold back anything, and I dont want them to either.
I live a few hours flight from them and trips are time and money that I dont have heaps of but I want to see them at least another 3-4 times this year, during which I will be going through my transition so hopefully I wont be blowing their minds LOL.
Also, shopping in the city they live in is GREAT! Fantastic holiday spot too so more than happy to get back soon too! Hahahaha
Thank you for reading, I hope that sharing might help other people.
I wont lie, it was terrifying at times, i cried when the flights were being booked and there was a lot of tears but I knew it was something that I had to do for their sake as much as mine and now that it is done am keen to move onto other things.
I also need a holiday from my holiday. Anyone know of any long weekends coming up soon? :P
Cynths
It's good to have that behind you, isn't it? Thanks for sharing, your experiences will absolutely help someone. Our individual contributions build the site and our community. Hugs, Devlyn
well done cynths *hugs* it's a huge step you've taken :)
Grats on coming out. Sounds like it was pretty intense.
Thanks everyone, yea, it was pretty intense. Back home now and relaxing, nice to have my own space again. I've spoken with people about a good way to stay in contact and to a face to face with skype with them fairly often but I still dont know how to approach the whole dressing thing with them. The only way I can think of slowly "breaking" it to them about dressing is to kinda transition to andro clothes then slowly change to my normal girl clothes, which is kinda tricky cos well, 1) getting out of boy mode is the first thing I do when I walk in the door and I will get sick of trying to hide it at home and 2) I dont really have much in the way of androgenous clothes and dont want to have to buy them for the sake of a 30 minute skype call once a week.
I have spoken with some people who just jumped in with the shock tactics but at this stage at least I dont want to do that at risk of pushing them away any more and not necessarily ease them into it but well, yea, you can see what I mean.
Whats really annoying too is that my girl clothes really aren't that different to my boy clothes, just girl jeans/shorts and girl tops/t-shirts. Oh, and the breasts too lol, can't forget those! (Maybe I can ease them into breast by just slowly using more padding? :) )
Congratulations Cynths!
You could not have asked for a better response.
Quote from: cynths on March 27, 2013, 06:53:00 PM
I also need a holiday from my holiday. Anyone know of any long weekends coming up soon?
I know! I know! Easter weekend! ;D
Congratulations little sister.
I am very proud of you.
For those who may not know I have two new local sisters in Cynths and Sylvannus who are woman that rock and show the world what Aussie girls are made of.
I am intensely proud of both of them.
Cindy
I'd like to add my congratulations as well.
It might be a synergy thing or something as it's almost 20 years since I came out to my parents in Adelaide. I'd flown down from Darwin specifically to tell them, having gone through hell in the months before worrying about what could happen.
So, well done! The hardest part is out of the way, although it's just the beginning really :)