I'm trying to get on hormones soon and I've read up a lot on the outside changes. But what about the inside changes? Does being on Estrogen make you "feel" like you're a woman? Does it give you female thoughts and feelings? What internal things will I most likely be dealing with once I start?
It doesn't feel like much of anything, most times. Thing is, most of "feeling" like one is a woman is dependent either on external changes (smooth skin, hair retardation, breasts) or mental states that in all likelihood were already there.
So, uh... Don't expect miracles. :)
Quote from: Sammy on April 03, 2013, 11:34:53 AM
Does it bring internal calm and peace? I am kinda on the verge now while trying to get on hormones and constantly failing :P
For me it did....but that also might be the lack of sex drive :P
I cannot supress my sex drive, well actually the zoloft I am taking now is supposed to LOL
Sad to say, I'm not experiencing any emotional effects thus far. I'm about two and a half months in. I'm only on estradiol, not anti-androgens yet, so I still might get them.
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on April 03, 2013, 11:38:51 AM
For me it did....but that also might be the lack of sex drive :P
Ditto.
Joelene
After two and a bit weeks, I've noticed that I'm a little calmer, and slightly more emotional. Not much else.
I went completely crazy :)
Well, not quite... just feels like it sometimes...
Hormones did a lot of "feel" changes for me. Besides being calmer (i love that, I was already a really calm person, but now it is even more...like if someone cuts me off while driving, I don't get angry or anything... it is just like "heehee, someone is in a rushhh"). I also got a LOT LOT more emotional, I respond to emotional stuff so much more severely now (pretty much every movie makes me cry ~_~ Really, it is kind of wtf. The avengers made me cry 3 or 4 times ~_~ It has actually gotten to a point where I avoid movies that I know will have some type of emotional thing in it ... at first it was fun, but now it is like "noooo thankss").
And, here is a really strange thing, every now and then (once every month or two) I get REALLLYYYY emotional randomly. Not just for a little bit like from a sad movie or something, this I feel bananas for days. Like, at first I feel completely cold and unemotional during the day. Just...totally cold. And by the time night comes I break down and cry a ton and things (no clue why, it isn't anything going on in my life or anything). Or, I just feel REALLY off and become more irrational and just... it feels crazy. Since I don't cycle my hormones or anything, I have nooo clue what causes this. We don't have menstrual cycles or anything either, so can't be something like that. Humm, yea, pretty strange ~_~
Oh, I also feel a lot more tired more often....and I have less social anxiety (even though now I'm more self conscious that people notice I'm trans). I can handle public speaking a LOT better now (maybe more confidence?). Who knows ~shrugs~
I don't understand the "feel like a girl" thing though. Girls feel all sorts of ways (same with guys). I know sensitive guys, and non-sensitive women.... so... is what I'm feeling "like a girl"? Definitely things changed with hormones, but ~shrugs~ if this is "a girl" or not doesn't matter to me. I just like this better (whatever you call it).
Sooo.. yea, hormones... crazy stuff :P
Cry easier. As far as sex drive, on just finasteride, i lost a lot of sex drive, but once i started estrogen, it shot back up. But i have always been a really horny person :p
I got more emotional and calm after only two weeks of HRT. I also got more brave and got courage to express my femininity.
I have become more girlish in my behaviour and talkative too. Other than that I dont feel anything remarkable. I'm pretty much the same person as before...
Quote from: eloij on April 03, 2013, 02:44:34 PM
I got more emotional and calm after only two weeks of HRT. I also got more brave and got courage to express my femininity.
I have become more girlish in my behaviour and talkative too. Other than that I dont feel anything remarkable. I'm pretty much the same person as before...
This was true to me except for the Talkative part. I have always been talkative person and it didn't change. For me emotional changes were more than the physical changes.
Hmm. Just curious. If trans women are on a higher dose than cis women (to override the T or to induce changes) would the feelings they feel be more intense than what estrogen's like for the most part? If so, I wonder if this dies down after losing the T factories.
Just wondering because some trans women seem to report extreme emotional changes that I haven't noticed on T or E. The only emotional difference between T and E for me is I can't cry when I feel like it on T. But, I see that as being almost physical rather than emotional because I feel the same emotion just as intensely. Maybe even more intensely because I can't release it through tears.
But yeah as someone going in the other direction, hormones don't feel like anything to me. I didn't even get a sex drive difference. But I had a strong libido on estrogen, so that might be why. I also kinda wonder if some of the extreme sex drive changes some trans women experience are more about the anti androgen than estrogen. Because testosterone is responsible for libido in cis women too. So trans women may experience more of a lack of sex drive than is common for cis women.
Not referencing any post in this topic, more just stuff I've heard throughout the years.
I've got to say I became less bitchy, but I would cry more.
I was happy and some nights just start crying because I was happy.
What I really felt was the biggest change in my emotions was I became very levelled. I could relax a lot easier, before HRT I would see the smallest issue with something and to me it was the biggest & worst thing in the world. within weeks of starting HRT it wasn't the case.
People could cut me off and I'll say sorry, where before I felt like getting out of the car and smacking them.
Crying becomes a LOT easier! Over the first year, I had a number of crying jags for little reason, happy, sad, a good movie, a bad movie... Situations where I would have been pissed or enraged (think motorcycling in crap traffic, etc) I took with calm. This was not psychosomatic; testosterone is a (in my opinion) a poison that is (indisputably) linked with heightened aggression, and the lack of it can really be felt as a soothing calm. Some feel this go too far into sluggishness or mental fog, but things even out in a few months.
As far as what "feels" like a woman, YOU do. Right? I mean, already. Maybe you'll feel like a calmer woman, but you feel like a woman right now if you feel that you ARE a woman trapped in the wrong body. At least I did. Don't think your personality will change too drastically, but in my experience, I have become a far better person to be, to be around and to be with than I ever was with male hormones in my system. Good luck!
I'm a month into HRT and I think the main emotional change is that I can't get angry anymore. I've always been an emotionsal person and cry at songs and movies and sad stories. But also last night I cried myself to sleep and it was a much different cry then normal. I cried a lot longer and more intense.
I'll say this, physically, my boobs hurt. I mean sometimes bad and it's harder to sleep and I've always slept in the fetal position and it is still uncomfy. My skin is changing. And the lower portion of my face is feminzing. My skin is becoming clearer too. I thought everyone was exaggerating about the chest hurting, but they're not.
I wouldn't say it will make you feel like a woman, but I have felt like a woman forever. And act like one too. But I don't act femme in that campy gay guy. I've always related to women and made friends with girls much easier then i ever did with men. It's hard to explain. Well, put it this way, in high school, I wrote a poem for this guy and the teacher made him do another since it obviously wasn't his she said and that it sounds like Matty wrote it because it's so sweet and sensitive.
YMMV but i would prepare to become more emotional and less able to get angry. And for your boobs to hurt lol it's the best pain in the world.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on April 04, 2013, 04:18:06 AM
YMMV but i would prepare to become more emotional and less able to get angry. And for your boobs to hurt lol it's the best pain in the world.
Mine are just starting to get tender after almost 3 weeks... Am loving it :)
Internal peace and calm.
Quote from: sam79 on April 04, 2013, 04:32:44 AM
Mine are just starting to get tender after almost 3 weeks... Am loving it :)
I'm currently on the waiting list for my Endo. I really hope I get on hormones soon. :)
I speak only for myself here,
I am 1 year on my HRT and 51 years of age.
How does it feel....well, there is mind and body.
Mind
I feel far more passive. I have almost no sex drive. I feel I am in control of nothing at all. What I mean by this, is before, living as male, I could 'do' things. I could defend myself if someone was rude, etc.
Since HRT, I feel defenseless and am at the mercy of an uneducated society. Every day is running the gauntlet. The only thing I have to protect me is maintaining a sense of humour and giving off good energy. Most people in passing, do not bother me so it is hard to determine how many of that percentage resent my existence and what percentage don't care.
I have been unemployed for 2 years and I am very aware of negative vibes.
My biggest worries are a) will anyone ever love me again and b) can I support myself
To have breasts has been, so far, the most feminine thing that has happened to my body and this has helped my inner well-being tremendously. I LOVE the feeling if having my breasts. They are developing symmetrically and for the first time in my life I feel beautiful.
Body
I have B cups and my breasts are very tender most all of the time. My bra is my armour.
My skin became very soft early on. I have gained weight also in my butt. My legs and arms muscle mass has signifigantly shrunk. My face has definitely become more feminine. People I see only occasionally do not even recognize me. People I have not seen for a year I can walk by and they don't even notice me and that actually makes me feel pretty good.
I am Pre-Op. When I get horny, masturbation is almost impossible as 'it' no longer goes up and if it does, it is only momentarily. I am completely unable to have penetrative sex with a woman with my non-functioning equipment. I am still able to orgasm if I work at it but most of the time I don't even think of sex. Now I think more of love and tenderness...two things that I fear I may never know again.
I am chronically tired, both physicaly and mentally. I have found doing routine cleaning at home to be difficult to discipline myself to do. I am un-motivated and feel some despair with my transition. I am poor and the stress of no money is almost unbearable. Walks are still free so I try to walk as much as possible to keep my strength up. I take naps whenever I have the chance to.
Overall
I am happy that I am becoming myself at last.
I am not happy with the enormous mountains that have yet to be climbed.
Transition will not be the greatest challenge. Surviving after will be.
These are my thoughts. Hope it is of some value to someone out there.
My advice to those yet to transition is, research as much as possible and keep busy and make as much money as you possibly can. You'll need it.