I consider it being dressed like a woman and not being called 'sir.
I go straight to The Source for my information! https://www.susans.org/wiki/Passing (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Passing)
Quote from: Sydney Greentree on April 05, 2013, 05:22:17 PM
I consider it being dressed like a woman and not being called 'sir.
Kia Ora Sydney,
::) A bowel movement ;) ;D
On a more serious note passing means = "Different strokes for different folks !"
But in general it would seem to be, not being hassled when out and about in public and being referred to by the correct pronoun...
Some don't like the term 'passing' because it makes them feel like they have to 'pass' a test, which in a sense is what really happens-one either passes with flying colours or one fails to pass the test, [A test I might add of ones own making]
however at times one might pass and fail at the same time ...
Add on....
What I mean by this is, society may not bat an eyelid and just see you as a run of the mill female/male, but in 'your' mind you still see the old you which makes you feel quite uncomfortable=not up to scratch...After all we are our own worst critic...
Metta Zenda :)
Not to be mistaken by people who do not know you when presenting as your desired gender.
Someone accepting you for what's inside you and seeing beyond the labels, even at face value.
When I am comfortable with myself and my presentation.
To paraphrase "the most interesting person in the world": "I don't always pass, but when I do I'm at my happiest."
When you can go out and you don't hear some billy bob redneck say "hey Wilma, looky there, them's one of those transgender people like we saw on that tv show!"
Look...one day many years ago I reached a point where I had nothing to lose, I was tired, and pre-everything...so I just started to dress and act according to the way I felt
I just released my spirit, myself, no more acting, no more playing the role...
I was not interesting in fooling anybody. I was not interested in "passing," I just wanted to be myself and be happy ,...I did not give -and still do not- gave a rat ass about what other people thought or perceived me as...
"Pass" and "passing" is BS..is a "trap" you impose to yourself...do not fell for it
When I'm out and the majority of people see me as a guy, without questioning or really paying any more attention. It feels worse somehow to have somebody stare at you like they're trying to figure out, than to just be misgendered then move on.
Blending in with each of our areas type women. Dressing & acting as normal as posssible for the women we are around. In my early years I dressed too nice however less is normally better, just dress, look, walk, sit, speak & act as a normal woman within the normal crowd. Mostly just be yourself & relax. No one really knows what might be underneath or cares. Be a confident woman.
I enjoy being labeled as male and when strangers use the correct pronouns, but I'm content with everyone just leaving me alone. If I don't stand out from everyone else, I must be doing something right. Now I get stared at more at home than I do out of the house.
To me it is being able to go about my life living as a normal woman without fear of being "outed or ridiculed". I hope this helps hun.
Berti
Quote from: peky on April 05, 2013, 07:16:24 PM
"Pass" and "passing" is BS..is a "trap" you impose to yourself...do not fell for it
QFT
I think the only answer it is when you never think of passing.
I'm a woman who lives her life and I do not need acceptance or applause from anyone.
Passing? Passing what?
to me it means getting called miss or getting hit on by guys
To me passing is when people cannot tell I wasn't born a woman.
I'll draw a contrast to some of the other posters - I don't think passing refers to how you feel. I can feel totally natural and not think about it, but also not pass - every who sees me can tell I was male bodied.
However, there are degrees of passing. You can pass in casual contact (most people walking by don't see anything out of the ordinary) or you can pass as stealth (nearly impossible for someone to notice your birth circumstances).
However, given this definition, I think passing is given WAY WAY WAY too much importance by a lot of people in this community. I know many women who do not pass and yet are very happy with their transitions.
And you do not need to pass to be treated as a woman. You just need to avoid and ignore narrow-minded people and bigots.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 06, 2013, 12:44:41 PM
To me passing is when people cannot tell I wasn't born a woman.
I'll draw a contrast to some of the other posters - I don't think passing refers to how you feel. I can feel totally natural and not think about it, but also not pass - every who sees me can tell I was male bodied.
However, there are degrees of passing. You can pass in casual contact (most people walking by don't see anything out of the ordinary) or you can pass as stealth (nearly impossible for someone to notice your birth circumstances).
However, given this definition, I think passing is given WAY WAY WAY too much importance by a lot of people in this community. I know many women who do not pass and yet are very happy with their transitions.
And you do not need to pass to be treated as a woman. You just need to avoid and ignore narrow-minded people and bigots.
i agree alot with the first half of what you said. but about the not passing thing i know i would not have been able to keep my job or get my second one had i not passed. sadly enough i know the hospital would not allow me to work in it if i made patients feel un comfortable. :(
i dont like seeing it as passing as in reality im just living, im not taking a final exam. Yeah there is times people i notice give me a second glance and then go on their way but heck i do that too. Seeing if the guy is hot or the girl is a real meanie. You just have to feel yourself and work at it. Id say its not passing really but Blending yeah i like blending better than passing.
To me passing doesn't mean passing as a woman, it means passing as cis. To be stealth, it can't be "nearly impossible" for someone to read you as trans, it has to be actually impossible.
I feel like it's a way of reclaiming control over my body and how my body is perceived. Of having the freedom to choose who does and does not know my history. Of having agency.
Passing is when there is no doubt in the minds of your audience that you are who you say you are. The thing that I am understanding more and more is that when you convince yourself everyone else is convinced. Not to suggest that conforming physically is not a good idea but people can feel insecurity. :)
Quote from: Sarah7 on April 07, 2013, 01:29:52 AM
To me passing doesn't mean passing as a woman, it means passing as cis. To be stealth, it can't be "nearly impossible" for someone to read you as trans, it has to be actually impossible.
I feel like it's a way of reclaiming control over my body and how my body is perceived. Of having the freedom to choose who does and does not know my history. Of having agency.
I agree, one could say "being who you have always been" is passing. It seems like getting through the "I am trans" mentality and living in the "I am woman/man" mentality.
Passing to me is not feeling "less than". What I mean by that is feeling confident in myself that others now see and hear me without questioning my gender. I spent a lot of years with the shame of people asking me, "Are you a boy or a girl". That is hard on anyone and it tears you down after awhile.
Passing is ordering in a restaurant with my head held high. It's walking in the bathroom and knowing you belong in there. Recently it's walking into a College and not hearing whispers behind my back in a class.
Passing is freedom.
I am just coming to the end of my first month of living full time as a girl. I have been out and about an awful lot. I like cooking so I am at the grocery store almost daily and at the mall several times a week of late. As I walk around the busy mall I find that there are plenty of curious glances but in every store I have bought things from the sales assistants have been very friendly, when I sit down to meals with my wife at cafes and restaurants it is not unusual for the wait staff to address us as 'ladies'. When I look at the poor physical condition of a lot of women I am glad that I don't pass for one of them. I wear age appropriate clothing and cosmetics etc but I think that dressing 'nice' even when it is still casual is often what makes one stand out from the crowd and then people look more closely at the facial features and wonder...
For me. I am passing for the kind of woman that I want to be. Even though it might mean some extra looks.