Hello, everyone. I'm feeling blue and am in need of a catharsis I think. (Not sure if I used that word right) Sometimes I just wish I wasn't trans.
I wish I didn't have to take hormones.
I wish my chromosomes were XX.
I wish my wardrobe actually looked flattering on me.
I wish guys found me attractive instead of icky.
I wish I had a uterus.
I wish I had smaller shoulders.
I wish I had the wide hips that cis girls are always complaining about for some reason.
I wish I could wake up one morning and be a girl with no memory of being a boy, and everyone always knew me as a girl, and that's the way it was, end of story, period...
*sigh... I have a feeling I'm gonna try living stealth one day so I can simulate this fantasy as much as possible, unfortunately, I can't erase the past. :(
Post your own rant as a comment. I want to read them to make myself feel better by having more stories to relate to. Go ahead, vent.
Quote from: kokochan900 on April 10, 2013, 09:06:37 PM
I wish I could wake up one morning and be a girl with no memory of being a boy, and everyone always knew me as a girl, and that's the way it was, end of story, period...
I wish this only with the memory of being a boy so I can appreciate being a girl even more :)
There is a lot that I could post here about envy and jealousy; however, after years of depression and sadness over this issue, I have come to accept myself for who I am. It sadness me that there are things I can't ever experience and a limitation to my transition, but I try to keep on a positive face and accept the blessings in my life. I think it is fine to vent and feel envy as long as you don't let negativity take you over. I have gotten out of that mindset and life has improved for me. Remember, we are sometimes out worst critics. I met many passable and beautiful transwoman that thought themselves to be beasts. I think it is very natural for a woman to care about her appearance due to the culture we are raised in. It is even harder for a transwoman, but it exist for many cis girls as well.
But on topic...
body hair and shoulder size are very annoying!!!
Hmmm I differ on this subject.
I am a proud transgender woman
I am trained in the ways of men and it gives me strength
I am unique and one of a kind! ;D
I am beautiful in my own way and make even cis girls jealous ;)
I am embracing my destiny and living my life as I see fit.
A short time back I could have easily written your list, and I probably did if I looked back in my Diary. And I'm sure there are a lot of girls out here who'd say the same.
I've always wished to wake up as a girl for my entire life, or as a boy with absolutely no compelling need to be a woman with the daily weight of GID. Wishing for either one was good up until about six weeks ago. But somethng changed inside, and now when I wake up it's to make each day the best for who I am as a woman. Maybe I just couldn't afford to carry the bagage anymore.
Kathy
Quote from: kokochan900 on April 10, 2013, 09:06:37 PM
Hello, everyone. I'm feeling blue and am in need of a catharsis I think. (Not sure if I used that word right) Sometimes I just wish I wasn't trans.
I wish I didn't have to take hormones.
Try an implant, a quick visit to your gyno/endo every 3-6 months is easy.
QuoteI wish my chromosomes were XX.
Frankly, not as important as you might think - I know a girl who has XX chromosomes - she had a male body and genitals - until recently.
QuoteI wish my wardrobe actually looked flattering on me.
Then perhaps different styles may be the answer?
QuoteI wish guys found me attractive instead of icky.
Welcome to being a woman...
QuoteI wish I had a uterus.
I'm quite happy to be without one - periods suck.. As does PMS, period pain etc..
QuoteI wish I had smaller shoulders.
I wish I had the wide hips that cis girls are always complaining about for some reason.
Not all women have slim shoulders or big hips and they seem to get along just fine. I'm not all that hippy, nor are my shoulders all that small - I get along just fine..
QuoteI wish I could wake up one morning and be a girl with no memory of being a boy, and everyone always knew me as a girl, and that's the way it was, end of story, period.
*sigh... I have a feeling I'm gonna try living stealth one day so I can simulate this fantasy as much as possible, unfortunately, I can't erase the past. :(
There's a bunch about my past I'd like to change, but I can't and wishing for it to happen is just fantasy. What I can do is make the best of who I am and what I've got and just get on with my life - which is 1000x better than it was.
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on April 10, 2013, 11:38:56 PM
Hmmm I differ on this subject.
I am a proud transgender woman
I am trained in the ways of men and it gives me strength
I am unique and one of a kind! ;D
I am beautiful in my own way and make even cis girls jealous ;)
I am embracing my destiny and living my life as I see fit.
This! I feel the exact same way, it is like you took the words out of my mouth! I was going to write this but since you already did, I'll just quote them lol. You go girl!
If it was possible i would love to wake up and be a girl with fully functioning uterus and all, only thing i want to remember from all of this is the silly tricks guys use just to get in girls pants without the relationship promises.
Just the whole having babies thing. No to the period and being short again. I was 5"1 till high school and couldn't wait to be tall. I love being a baby giraffe :)
I really hate fighting my body hair. I have gobs of hair on my chest, back, arms and midsection. I'll be spending several hours a week shaving. Then there's my back hair that there's no way I can shave. Don't know how I'm going to get rid of it. Causing me angst.
I haven't mentioned my face yet. I'm nearing the end of my laser treatment and there's still a lot of dark hairs left on my face. I'll start electro next, but I imagine it will be years before I can go out without applying foundation with a trowel.
Quote from: Jen-Jen on April 11, 2013, 02:14:05 AM
This! I feel the exact same way, it is like you took the words out of my mouth! I was going to write this but since you already did, I'll just quote them lol. You go girl!
;D
I am sorry some have issues....yea CIS girls have hot bodies...
So can we...super hot indeed...
Look at the tradeoffs....
I'm rare....I'm unique....I'm precious....
It has taken me a lifetime to hold my head high....
Oh yea I see some FUGLY CIS girls all the time...
And men really do love us...
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on April 10, 2013, 11:38:56 PM
Hmmm I differ on this subject.
I am a proud transgender woman
I am trained in the ways of men and it gives me strength
I am unique and one of a kind! ;D
I am beautiful in my own way and make even cis girls jealous ;)
I am embracing my destiny and living my life as I see fit.
I thought about your list last night and decided it kinda hits on how I feel now. Well, except the thing about making cis girls jealous. :( I'm not competing for a cis girls man, old age took it's toll, and I don't care about that now anyway. :)
Kathy
I am Unicorn!
That's how I see it. I'm rare. I'm proud. I'm strong and most of all I have a heart of gold. ♥
Only thing I hate is that I can not have a baby and I can't have a period. Those are the only two things I would change.
The only really thing I wish or am envious of is a full head of hair. I have a balding spot from the front to the vortex. So I am stuck with using a hair piece.
Quote from: Serena Lynn on April 11, 2013, 11:24:45 AM
Only thing I hate is that I can not have a baby and I can't have a period. Those are the only two things I would change.
I think I'm only disappointed about the baby part...
.
At first when I was just coming out I was agreeing with you but now I'm beginning to really em race my transgender status. I'm finally becoming more and more comfortable with myself and knowing that I'm on this journey finally. I'm at the point now where it doesn't matter because the changes will take place and I'll be comfortable in my own body within the next few years. Plus I have so many memories as a boy that I wouldn't take back for the life of me.
Quote from: kokochan900 on April 10, 2013, 09:06:37 PM
I wish I didn't have to take hormones.
While I don't like feeling like I'm a slave to the pharmaceutical industry! I love taking hormones I can remember how I thought when testosterone was the dominant hormone in my body. It has given me such a greater appreciation of the differences in the way men and women think! How many people will understand both sexes in the way we do? I'm actually grateful to be trans!
Quote from: MaidofOrleans on April 10, 2013, 11:38:56 PM
Hmmm I differ on this subject.
I am a proud transgender woman
I am trained in the ways of men and it gives me strength
I am unique and one of a kind! ;D
I am beautiful in my own way and make even cis girls jealous ;)
I am embracing my destiny and living my life as I see fit.
Well said miss maid!
I do have some attributes that CIS girls have been very envious of, that alone is a big source of confidence for me and helped get me through some dark times in my life.
and yes how handy is it to be hip to how guys really think ;)
Quote from: girl you look fierce on April 14, 2013, 08:08:47 AM
Really I just wish I could stop being terrified of what people think of me... I think that would solve most of my problems... :(
You and me both! I spend way too much time worrying about that.
Quote from: girl you look fierce on April 14, 2013, 08:08:47 AM
Really I just wish I could stop being terrified of what people think of me... I think that would solve most of my problems... :(
I know my friend Molly helped me get over that little fear ;). You could ask her for help some time