I'm not sure how this differs around the globe, but in the UK it seems that males get called 'mate' by guys whereas women get called 'love' by guys. Women just seem to call everyone 'love' whether male or female. Is this just where I'm from? To me, it would be unusual for a guy to call another bloke 'love' because that's what they call women. The other day a guy bumped into me and quickly glanced and said 'sorry mate', then looked again properly and said 'ooops sorry love'. I think this is similar to the way in America that you get Sirred and Ma'am'd. When a bloke calls me mate rather than love, to me that would be a sign I pass. Does anyone else know what I mean?
Yeah I understand that. It's the same in my part of the UK, although maybe not so "love"y -- or they just realise I'm not the sort of person who would appreciate being called 'love' even if they read me as female. I get called "mate" by my Thursday bus driver every week (getting a "cheers mate" has to be one of the most subtle and awesome things) and that's always been a sign I pass, confirmed now when he said something definitely male to me although I can't remember what.
Different regions have different words to the same effect as well, in Suffolk "bah" is sometimes used by the more Suffolk-y people, although that's dying out, and my grandparents in Northamptonshire call all the females "m'duck", but never males. I'm sure there's other words in other places but I'm a typical Suffolk guy and rarely venture out, for us Norfolk is a foriegn country :P
(And I've just realised I always seem to comment on your posts first, I'm not a stalker honestly!)
Theres alot of different terms around here, never sure what they mean by it sometimes (in terms of whether it relates to gender or not). The sorry 'mate' or 'pal' is quite common yeah. Dont really hear 'love' used even from women here. I would think it would be weird for a guy to say it to another guy though. I do hear 'darling' alot and Im not sure what gender that means they think I am (always a woman saying it) or if they just use it for both. I dont like terms like that though that can imply the wrong gender used on me, doesnt make me feel good. I agree with you yeah, wouldnt seem to me they would typically say that to a woman so I would take it as a pass. Different terms though Im really not sure about most of the time. Heard others used but I cant remember what they were at the moment. The area where my gran lives, all women are called 'hen' and males are 'son'
Yeah I think it must be. I was in the UK a couple summers ago and I seem to recall this. Also there is a local place I go to and there is an employee from the UK, so I hear this a little. Ma'am and sir in the US well are a lot of how you were raised and where (for instance in the south it is almost used like a nervous tic. I have been, at times, ma'amed every other word.
--Jay
From my experience calling a guy "mate" is the equivalent of calling him something like "buddy" in the States and "love" is closer to "honey" for women but you're right, it's basically the same thing as being sired or ma'am-ed since they're both usually gender specific nouns.
I think it's universal that calling someone "love" is used either for women or by women. For example, I call my girlfriend "love" all the time and even though I would never use that on another woman as it would probably be seen as flirting here in the States, I definitely wouldn't call a man "love" either.
Yeah, those terms are probably in the UK (or Australia). I live in the Southern United States and we have the equivalent. Women here call men "honey, sweetie, baby" and men call other men "fella, bud, buddy". Men call women "sweetheart or hun".
It's just a more personal way of approaching someone you don't know the name of. I'll try to catch a waitress as she walks by the table with "excuse me, hun". I know some transplants to the area might not like it but it's just in a lot of us out in the boonies. It sounds good with a Southern draw, lol.
hmm yeah its a area thing. I never heard of anyone saying love" for someone but I notice alot of my friend say diffrent things from what kind of area/country they grew up in.
I dont think we got so much gendered here in those kinds of term, even thought "honey,sweetie, darling" generaly not used for men by men, and things like "bro and dude is mostly used by men" (dude is unisex here)
but you can say it preview abit if your seen maculine or femenine.. ex a guy can call me "sweetie" but that kinda a cute gay thing so if I where working out and one of my straight friend came up to me saying "hi sweetie" I would be pretty confussed.
I notice many middle east guys often say "friend" even when you just meet them.
"hi my friend" "how you felling my friend" "see you friend" but somehow its always the guys I dont know why?
For the record, I live in the almost-Canada part of the states. Pre-transition, one of my exes called me "love." I call everyone hunny/sweetie/dear. A few months ago at work, guys started calling me bro/buddy/son, and I took that as passing.
Quote from: Simon on April 12, 2013, 10:17:05 PM
Yeah, those terms are probably in the UK (or Australia). I live in the Southern United States and we have the equivalent. Women here call men "honey, sweetie, baby" and men call other men "fella, bud, buddy". Men call women "sweetheart or hun".
It's just a more personal way of approaching someone you don't know the name of. I'll try to catch a waitress as she walks by the table with "excuse me, hun". I know some transplants to the area might not like it but it's just in a lot of us out in the boonies. It sounds good with a Southern draw, lol.
You mean...a Southern
drawl? Or "...draw, lol"? ;)
I hear a lot of "sir's" and "ma'am's" when I'm out and about (oot and aboot to my Canadian neighbors)...generally people are just being polite, rather than "hey you!"
Otherwise, I hear "hun" and "sweetie" towards females, "dude" and "man" toward males. (northwest USA area)
Yeah it's the same in Australia. Although I have heard guys call guys (especially older guys when referring to younger guys) "love" - I have a beard now and pass 100% and have been called "love" on a few occasions by older blokes myself.
I've heard of the "mate" and "love" only on BBC America. I think I'd get punched if I ever called a lady "love" unless we knew each other. Though, I 've always loved the term "mate" but I wouldn't be able to get away with saying it since I don't have the accent.
Where I live I sometimes hear "sweetie" or "hun" to females, but it's mostly older people. I think the younger people seem more gender-neutral and just call everyone "man". I know I do that too, even if it's a girl, I'll be like "hey man, when's the next inbound coming" or whatever. When I was working banquets or at the casino, I'd call people either "sir" or "miss" (I was trained to never call anyone ma'am and the ladies loved it). And, when I am in professional mode at work, I just avoid calling anyone "sir" or "miss" (and I'd certainly never use "man") unless it's someone really old, because I am so used to using those words in a service context, it just feels out of place to me to use those words when I am not in a tux, so if I need someone's attention and I don't know their names, I just say "excuse me" without a sir or miss, or just introduce myself and get their name.
Quote from: Simon on April 12, 2013, 10:17:05 PM
I live in the Southern United States and we have the equivalent. Women here call men "honey, sweetie, baby" and men call other men "fella, bud, buddy". Men call women "sweetheart or hun".
Same.
For me, when in Scotland, women are mostly termed "hen" or "miss" if it's more formal. Guys get "sir" or the more informal "pal", "mate" or sometimes "big man", or "wee man" for kids or shorter people who are comfortable with the term (or as a way to be offensive). On top of that, you often hear "man", "dude" or "guys" used and they're non-gender specific. You could join up with an group of nowt but females and address one of the girls with, "Hey, man! Where you guys heading?" So if someone uses "man" or "guys" it's hard to tell if it's a pass.
In Canada it's mostly "ma'am" or "miss" for women and "sir", "buddy", "bro" or even "dude" for guys. It's easier to tell if you've passed here. I don't tend to hear "man" being used here but that could just be with the company I keep, I don't know what goes down in schools.
I just realized that we Dutchies seemingly do this a lot less often than the English speaking folk. Sure, there is the usual madam or sir when you call for someone's attention of whom you do not know his or her name (like a waiter), but other than that, I don't think we use Dutch versions of 'love' 'darling' or 'mate'. Only friends or lovers refer to each other like that at times. So if someone would accidentally bump into someone else, the person would just say sorry, and add nothing gender related to it. I think, at least. I should pay more attention and study people some more here.