So we have all heard some really weird reasons as to why we can't be trans from those who are a little to very shocked. What's the craziest ones you personally have heard?
Mine would be:
You don't listen to the same music as all of the girls I know.
Corrected typo
Hmm, good question. Maybe I'm atypical or an outlier, but no one seems very confused about it. It's almost like they placed bets on when this would happen. Of course, some of my favorite bands are The Breeders, Florence+the Machine, The Dresden Dolls, and Garbage. So, maybe that's it lol jk
BTW: I love love love your toes. Pink and black. Great choice!
I never really cared about my looks as a boy and almost always had a full beard. So my family was definitely a little surprised.
Probably the closest someone has said something like that was "but you don't have to go through all that just to be gay."
...Pretty much no one was surprised when I came out. They might be a bit surprised that I'm as girly as I am, but apparently I was doing a bad job at pretending to be masculine.
Most reasons people say I can't be are because:
"You're not transgendered, you're probably just autistic or something."
"You're not transgendered, you're just ashamed of being gay."
These generally come from friends of friends though. Most of my family and close friends were pretty accepting and not all that surprised. Unfortunately some of my friend's friends are a lot more judgmental and conservative than the company I generally choose to keep so I've heard soooooo many crazy things about this.
I've heard...
-You just need more friends
-You just need a girl friend
-How do you know, you've never had sex
Yep...it's amazing that people assume you don't even question your gender...they all seem to think that we don't have doubt or confusion.
My sister said, "There's not a single female quality about you". Which really only goes to prove that people see what they want to see. Since then, she's grown more receptive to the notion.
From my ex-gf:
- If you really would be a woman, you would like cleaning the house more
(Just to add, that we both didn't like cleaning at all)
Quote from: sam79 on April 14, 2013, 12:07:57 AM
My sister said, "There's not a single female quality about you". Which really only goes to prove that people see what they want to see. Since then, she's grown more receptive to the notion.
My mother told me the same thing,
From one of my sisters: " You can't be transgender bacause you're too tall to pass as a woman..."
Other than that, after getting over her initial shock, she has come around pretty well.
Because you're tall/had a beard/girlfriends/bikes/muscle cars/shoot pool/good at fighting(I didn't really like it)like rock music
"You're just mentally ill. Have you been taking your meds?"
Well, I'm yet to have anybody dispute me being trans. I guess I come off being somewhat femme, so no one seems to doubt it. That being said, when I had my first big bout of doubts, I tried some of these on myself. The most ridiculous being that I "have more masculine tastes in room décor." Seriously.
"... you can just be gay the way you are!"
:-\
SRSLY!!!
Cos you're not very gay!
"You can't be transgender because gender is a social constructation..."
Never heard it before.
My last therapist said I was probably just a cross dresser because I was too slow and too cautious in my transition, most jump in and move as quickly as they can. Funny thing is, though I dress in women's clothes, etc., I don't really "cross dress" much anymore in the get all dolled up or whatever sense. That stopped years ago and now I'm just me sliding from male to the middle in my expression on my way to the other side. I have a 3-7 year plan to transition but that falls on deaf ears apparently.
Nevermind I have a supportive wife that paradoxically means I must go very slow, young kids, career concerns, ultra conservative family and I live in the city I was raised so there is no private-ish transition option.
Unreal her bias is actually.
Quote from: Sky-Blue on April 13, 2013, 11:34:32 PM
I've heard...
-You just need more friends
-You just need a girl friend
-How do you know, you've never had sex
Yep...it's amazing that people assume you don't even question your gender...they all seem to think that we don't have doubt or confusion.
^^This
and oh jeez looking back would be just to name a few
-Your a hardcore Raiders fan
-You like cars
-You like girls
-Your a father
-You just need medication
You're only saying this because Kelley broke up with you...Damn, why didnt the two girlfriends before that cause it if thats the case.
You aren't too disgusted by your own genitals to pee standing up.
This from a psychiatrist who gets paid to diagnose transgender patients.
Quote from: Madison_dawn on April 14, 2013, 12:16:02 PM
You're only saying this because Kelley broke up with you...Damn, why didnt the two girlfriends before that cause it if thats the case.
haha I got this just replace Kelly with Candice
Haven't heard it yet, but I am just beginning and am not really out yet,lol. Although, none of my close friends who know about me were really shocked by it. I imagine my family will be a different story.
yeah i have herd this too like the gay thing from random people or from shrinks that wanna say. maybe you were abused as a child or raped and this is how you see yourself now in a way to cope with it. i was just like. right...........new shrink please
it must be from your mothers side of the family
oh i have heard a bunch of non sensical ideas that most often reflect ignorance, gender stereotypes or outright prejudice:
You like doing outdoor guy things
You are a better looking guy than girl
You don't like to cook or keep house
You have no sense of fashion
You didn't change earlier as a 10, 20 or 30 year old
You never said anything about it to me and I have known you for years
You look like a guy in a dress--like all TG/TS are so passable or have that binary disposition. Ha Ha Ha
Education takes effort and I will be part of a public panel presentation at our local community college next week. We can trust that more of us being "out, proud, and approachable" will help people understand and grow?
Yours for education,
Tessa James
My mom first said "But you don't like cooking or cleaning!"
Which was a total fail because my sister, who lived with us at the time, was no different. Does that mean that her identity as a female is invalid?
Ive heard it from one person, my brother-in-law. He said, " you can't be transsexual! You like guns and you're damn good with them and you're like, the ultimate geek. And you're not into guys."
What made that funny to me was that his daughter is a hell of a shot. He went and baught her her own rifle. I dont even own a gun. So he pretty much invalidated his arguement right off the bat. Plus, when her first met me, he thought I was a bit feminine. So did his wife. In fact she once made the comment that I was the mommy of the family when my son was crying.
Some folks are still in denial 2 yrs later. *sigh*
How about....."You've never been gay, so what's this all about anyway?" :icon_boxing:
stupid thing I ever heard where.. "well you should have sex first" when I where 16 refering to my at that time boyfriend.
when the therapist said so I where like. wtf dose that have to do with my gender??.
"You're just an idiot"
"You'll die of AIDs"
THANKS FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT, DAD!
My parents often say I'm not trans because they don't believe being transgender exists. They call it a "delusion" and they've cited everything from the internet to BPA's for the reason behind it. Encouraging, isn't it.
Quote from: Tristan on April 14, 2013, 01:14:48 PM
yeah i have herd this too like the gay thing from random people or from shrinks that wanna say. maybe you were abused as a child or raped and this is how you see yourself now in a way to cope with it. i was just like. right...........new shrink please
Ha! What's he doing with a license anyways? lol! Nice response to that.
Quote from: NicholeD on April 13, 2013, 11:16:44 PM
Most reasons people say I can't be are because:
"You're not transgendered, you're probably just autistic or something."
"You're not transgendered, you're just ashamed of being gay."
It's funny that you said that, because I AM autistic... technically Asperger's. As a group, we're more predisposed to gender neutrality than others.
Anyhow, the weirdest I heard was "you can't be trans because you like Sci-Fi!"
Here's a few from my parents:
- Because my friends planted the idea in my head
- Because I had season tickets to U of M football games the four years I was a student
- Because my brother looks up to me
- Because I didn't know when I was 3
Quote from: Joanna Dark on April 13, 2013, 10:59:49 PM
BTW: I love love love your toes. Pink and black. Great choice!
Thanks, im having a friend who works in a salon do then next week, still gonna be pink and black but are going to be tipped instead of solid next time.
Quote from: lydia_s on April 14, 2013, 03:30:50 PM
My parents often say I'm not trans because they don't believe being transgender exists. They call it a "delusion" and they've cited everything from the internet to BPA's for the reason behind it. Encouraging, isn't it.
I know how you feel, my family has told me that i can show up to family events dressed "gender neutral" but was told that if i show up in obviously feminine ie jeans, shoes tops, let alone a skirt they will slam the door in my face. Sad thing is i still look like a boy so wouldnt consider going full feminine yet.
You cant be transgendered because......
" how do you know what it feels like to be a woman? You have never had a menstrual cycle!"
" You never showed any signs!"
" you like cars and guns and girls!"
" you restore vintage cars, girls wouldnt like doing mechanic work and body work, too much stuff to get under their nails!"
" your a cop, thats a masculine career!"
" you collect vintage emergency lights instead of dolls"
" your a father"
" you could never look like a girl even to the slightest degree!"
" your not gay"
" your my son"
" you have just been influenced!"
" your just doing this because she is leaving you!"
Just a few I can think of that i have been told. We all do seem to have a similar response lol.
I haven't really had anyone tell me I can't be trans because of x y or z, but my mother will occasionally remind me that she still thinks I'm just delusional. She's typically pretty nice, but it's clear she respectfully disagrees with me.
I'm pretty feminine, so it seems to fit for most people I suppose. My mom says that maybe I'm too feminine for her liking - but I think this is a little silly, since I'm not much more or less feminine than most girls my age.
sigh, i hope that we both get over this particular hump soon.
Here's the one that i love:
You enjoy using your chainsaw.Oblivious of the fact that there are many cis-gendered women in vermont who use chainsaws, and many male slobs who do nothing at all.
Quote from: kariann330 on April 14, 2013, 09:20:38 PM
Sad thing is i still look like a boy so wouldnt consider going full feminine yet.
"You're such a good actor, you've fooled yourself." (said by my step-mother, the therapist)
I've forgotten about the number of times I was told I shouldn't transition because I haven't had sex with a woman. If I had a nickel.
When my mom's boyfriend found out I was trans his response was "Do you think he's opening himself up to the devil?"