So the first job hunt since going full time. Ended with getting the job! But, I didn't ask if Gender Dysphoria was covered on the medical. Found out today that it turns out, NO aspect is. So I went from some place where I just had some modest co-pays to paying for EVERYTHING out of pocket.
I partly don't know why I'm bothering to post this. I know I ain't the only one who finds themselves in a position of having to pay out of pocket. Just hurts though. Between this and losing domestic partner coverage, something else my old employer had-- I really feel marginalized.
Big hug! Sorry to hear that. Silver lining time, you just saved anyone who reads this from not doing their homework on prospective employers. Enough people start asking and you got yourself a movement.* You took one for the team, but we're proud of you for posting to inform others! Hugs, Devlyn
*Thanks, Arlo Guthrie!
And that's what it is: The I'm trans and I could just use some insurance anti-massacre movement*.
*Indeed thanks, Arlo.
I'm trying to put a positive spin on it and going in I loved being able to say, "My job is to help people hear" given my employer makes hearing aids.
Will it be irony if the powers that be won't listen? I indicated I'd like an audience to explain who I was and who I became through transition.
It's just another case of American blind justice turning a deaf ear to the situation.*
*The check is in the mail, Arlo!
In my many decades of working and seeing a variety of policies, not one of them covered anything relating to the treatment of transsexuals. Even therapy. All but one were with smaller companies of less than 300 heads. Where I am now, with ten's of thousands, same thing. Even with a "Diversity" policy covering gender expression.
I guess it's fine, just don't expect us to pay?
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 16, 2013, 08:06:57 PM
It's just another case of American blind justice turning a deaf ear to the situation.*
*The check is in the mail, Arlo!
LOL!
Quote from: JoanneB on April 16, 2013, 08:27:17 PM
In my many decades of working and seeing a variety of policies, not one of them covered anything relating to the treatment of transsexuals. Even therapy. All but one were with smaller companies of less than 300 heads. Where I am now, with ten's of thousands, same thing. Even with a "Diversity" policy covering gender expression.
I guess it's fine, just don't expect us to pay?
Yeah, I think that's it on the head.
Just stinks cause as a student I had coverage, as I did at the last job.
I also think I couldn't have gotten the job I have now had I not transitioned. I was becoming such an ugly, nasty individual to be around.
Rub is I know how common this is and yet I've got the blues, hard. I shouldn't. I expected to run into what Joanne talked about someday. I figured this day was coming. It's just so darn personal when you had something and it's ripped away from you.
Aside from this flaw the company is pretty great. Work looks good too. But this one thing-- they're obsessed with the "Why" you do things. I looked forward saying the reason why I went to work was to help people hear. Now the reason why will be for a paycheck, cause otherwise I'll hulkify back into the nasty person I was becoming before transition.
This really fricking hurts and I can't make the pain stop. Is this the price I gotta pay for looking for something bigger in my career? If I were happy just doing CRUD and didn't care-- it's my ego isn't it? I worked so hard, studied so hard. I wanted a pay off. I wanted to be proud of what I did for my work day, apply what I've learned and grow and to not change the subject as soon as someone asked me, "What do you do for a living?" If I could have just been happy with a job that paid the bills-- I wouldn't have put myself in this mess.
Take that pride. And don't you dare get back up.
Quote from: Misato33 on April 16, 2013, 07:59:24 PM
I indicated I'd like an audience to explain who I was and who I became through transition.
Wow that's a pretty admirable thing to do. You're my hero!
BTW, don't feel bad about feeling bad. Yeah, a lot of people pay out of pocket, but the thing is it sucks to have something and then lose it. A lot of time it's worse than if you never had it in the first place.
I think I should clarify: I want an audience with those in change of the plan since it's home grown in company. Maybe if I can put a face on it--
Course, now I've also got myself terrified that there is going to be issues around the bathroom. I may not pass but I do not belong in a men's room and if they want to give me a special bathroom just for me-- I may just have to ask why did they hire me.
That didn't even happen (yet?) and I've gone and made myself feel like more crap! And if I stayed consulting I could have easily hit this issue...
Well, I was wondering when I was going to hit turbulence on the trans front. Answer: 04/16/2013
I found out just the other day that my insurance covers "nothing" related to transition. (I didn't mention to the customer rep that I get my estrogen pills for $4, no questions asked...but it took the insurance people 6 weeks to ok my testosterone therapy (before I'd even thought about transitioning..! LOL)
So...how many color glossy and black and white photos you want Officer Obie to take?
Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 16, 2013, 09:46:52 PM
So...how many color glossy and black and white photos you want Officer Obie to take?
Someone else better write the paragraph on the back of each one splain'in what each one is. My penmanship is lacking.
Quote from: Misato33 on April 16, 2013, 09:49:07 PM
Someone else better write the paragraph on the back of each one splain'in what each one is. My penmanship is lacking.
Oh, I can do that! I snaked a couple pencil nubs from the Group W bench...I just need someone's back to write on...
Can't sleep.
I'd been kicking myself for not looking closer at a job at my new place for a year. Had I gotten a job there a year ago, I shudder to think what that would have meant for my transition. After failing to get a job while out, I went back in the closet. If I lost my medical coverge by getting a job, I don't know what I would have done and I may well have caused real harm to myself regarding my medical care. It's hard for me to imagine a good scenario. Even now I'm probably going to drop group therapy. But I think that'll be ok. I think I have free options if I find I need something on that front.
Pbbbbbbbht...
Quote from: Misato33 on April 16, 2013, 09:12:35 PM
I was becoming such an ugly, nasty individual to be around.
A major complaint of my wife's! I used to have my moments, days, weeks...
Quote from: JoanneB on April 17, 2013, 05:26:13 AM
A major complaint of my wife's! I used to have my moments, days, weeks...
My SO accused me, rightly, of always being mad at the world.
First day in my cube ahead of me. At least the sales pitch orientation of how great the company is / owner are should be over. After all this I just don't buy the mythos and it instead strikes me as a steaming pile of bull plop along with self-aggrandizement that I am, by virtue of just being me, exempt from. BUT as my ego helped get me into this mess, maybe being exempt is a good thing.
/me is the same decaying organic matter as every other software engineer.
/me is also amazed at the rank quality wallow one can have when they wake up at three in the morning.
I have made stupid mistakes myself after forgetting to ask the most basic questions. It does kinda add some humiliation to the insult.
Hopefully, you will be able, eventually, bring it back into some perspective soon.
You won't get covered. But you do have a job now, for what its worth. So you might be able to get another step closer anyway.
I didn't move back to Wisconsin to be with my SO cause I was hoping to keep coverage with my theripist. If I have to play completely out of pocket I'd rather have arranged something so I could at least drive out once a month to have a session and make up the time. That's the only new perspective so far. And I had a job that I now effectively made more money at just my ego wanted something "more" or "better". On that front, my perspective remains: Whoops.
Wait no, maybe not whoops. I got greedy, now I'm paying the price.
* hug *
Talk to HR. Maybe they have an alternate insurance plan you can go on? Or maybe they can help subsidize HRT in some way?
Good luck!
Hey Misato,
I hear hrt isn't too expensive depending on the method. I could be wrong, but pills seem to be less costly from my research. As for therapists, many are willing to work on a sliding scale if you don't have coverage. Some are even willing to mark the treatment down as something else to get passed the insurance restraints. It's worth a shot at least.
Nonetheless, I am sorry to hear about everything. Believe me, I can relate. I haven't been able to start myself because I don't have the money for therapy and hrt at this point. But here is hoping to a day when I can actually find employment in this horrible economy! I think that is step 1,lol.
Hope you are enjoying the new job.
Quote from: Misato33 on April 17, 2013, 06:30:02 AM
Wait no, maybe not whoops. I got greedy, now I'm paying the price.
That's up to you. But as long as you know, I and I'm sure others have been where you are.
And a Big Huggg.
It's good that you shared it.
Grand total out of pocket hit a year, with some 20% discounts, to maintain what I've been doing for treatment now: $8000 And that's not counting the loss of my Domestic Partner insurance.
What am I going to do?
Wow $8,000 a year? Is that including premium costs? I am 100 percent self funded and my expenses are like 25 percent of yours. Could be the area though and cost of treatment differences.
That's my therapist visits, my group therapy, my endo, my bloodwork and my prescriptions and that's actually after taking out what my old insurance covered. Factor in what my old insurance covered it's about $10,000 in yearly out of pocket expenses.
Group I'm willing to drop outright. Therapist, I could cut to once a month.
I've been hemorrhaging money on my ill cat (who got better), a crashed but needed-data-recovery hard disk, a new car cause I got in an accident, etc... for months now and racking up bills for it. This breaks me. I gotta cut. And, if I gotta cut, I wanna move and end this long distance relationship crap.
Yeah if you can move closer to your SO that would be great. I've never been in a long-distance relationship but they sound hard. That is alot of stuff you do there. A lot of the stuff I do is on a sliding scale and I don't really have to do much since the clinic is informed consent. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Glad your cat got better :-*
I'm not getting the law involved.
Yeah, a lot but I've been thinking that it's time to scale some back anyway. It's just how precisely they target exempting non-traditional households from their medical coverage, add on how they turn up the fire with missing trans issues-- makes me feel tolerated, not accepted, there. That hurts.
I needed stability. Not this. Not this.
Have you asked your therapist if the would work with you on a sliding scale fee? It might do some good. Also, you may want to see if you could get on a less expensive hrt plan. I am not yet there myself, so I don't know, but I hear there are less expensive methods available. For example, I hear pills are much more affordable than patches. If you live near an LGBT clinic, they may be able to assist you at a lower cost too.
I don't have much advice to provide as I am in the very beginning stages of everything myself, but I really feel for you and want to wish you lots of luck.
Quote from: Julie53 on April 17, 2013, 09:58:39 PM
I do feel a little bad about the manager having a heart attack, I really wouldn't wish that on anyone,
Of course you don't, but as for the illness itself, he brought that on with his chosen lifestyle.
I just love your story. :laugh:
And the second night I can't sleep because of this.
Did learn a little while ago one safe thought to have at 3:00 am is "pet the kitty".
I have an appointment with the director of HR on Tuesday to try and get to the bottom of why the policy is the way it is, then to discuss it from there. Have an ally coming with me.
I'm so uncomfortable with having to do this.
Good luck! I hope it ends up well for you!