Guess this is a curious Poll I' will love all your honest opinions and perspectives. What Do Think of M2F Trans? How Many of you Would be fine dating and being in a relationship with them?
In my opinion you are more likely to understand them, being as your transgendered as well. Would you all be fine With Dating another Transgendered?
Dose it matter at all? Thanks <3
there's already a thread on this.
but most ftms wouldn't honestly date an mtf since she could make him not pass.
with his fem structure and her masc structure you have to take into consideration that anywhere y'all would go ppl are going to stare.
i know this from experience.
Sorry, I didn't See the Thread.
Thanks for your Input Celestica! Good to Know.
Quote from: =celestica= on April 17, 2013, 01:41:42 PM
most ftms wouldn't honestly date an mtf since she could make him not pass.
with his fem structure and her masc structure you have to take into consideration that anywhere y'all would go ppl are going to stare.
i know this from experience.
I disagree.
If I was ever to be single again I'm almost certain I would only be with a transwoman. I just think there would be a common bond in a relationship like that. Something that can't be had with a cis person.
I have a girl friend who is trans. Neither of us pass so well tbh, otoh she gets taken as female more than I get taken as male. I think if a woman goes to the trouble of wearing a dress and so on, they are *serious* where we could just be butch. Going out together in public is something of an adventure, and gendering, well people often just give up. I am lucky to be autistic so I don't care too muhc whether people stare or not. (BTW, I am 5'1" and she is 5'10".) People have always been polite, I was actually surprised at this. But I really have a good time with her and it has been great for us as we both understand the other I think. OTOH, as I transition more, and I will pass more than she will, not sure if it will continue to work. But we are just dating at this point.
Since I am early in my transition, I don't think too many people would understand my obsession with my gender the way she does.
BTW, I know there are transguys who would not go out together with other transguys for not passing. I don't like not passing mind you, actually I hate it, but I am also not going to live my life around it to the point that I wouldn't go out and do things with certain people because of it.
--Jay
Myself, I'd be more comfortable dating a transwoman than a ciswoman. Transwomen are awesome.
One of my best friend is MtF. And if I weren't gay, I would totally date her. We completely understand each other when we talk about not being happy about one's body, and being on the same page makes me want to be straight. But alas, we'll never be compatible like that.
This is one of those things that I don't fully comprehend as a pansexual person. It doesn't seem like a person's sexual equipment should matter all that much, but I get that it does for some (maybe most?) people. Personally, I'm down for anything as long as I'm attracted to the person and their personality.
Lots of interesting Points of View :) so Glad I asked. Thanks everyone ^_^
Loved Reading all your responses.
Quote from: =celestica= on April 17, 2013, 01:41:42 PM
there's already a thread on this.
but most ftms wouldn't honestly date an mtf since she could make him not pass.
with his fem structure and her masc structure you have to take into consideration that anywhere y'all would go ppl are going to stare.
i know this from experience.
Where you have your knowlegde of "most ftms" from? my experience been that alot of ftms seams open for it.
I dont get your statement that people would stare, not all mtf have very maculine features or any ftms to be very femenine and outstanding, it sure depend on how well you pass or your style and sure your area as well but one of my friends date mtf-ftm and they look like very regular men or women which nobody notice, maybe the most comming problem would be mtf tend to be taller and ftms tend to be smaller than regular men or women, so people might notice a high diffrence, but again we talk People so its a large diffrent numbers, and if thats the only issue its no diffrent than for regular cisgender relationships.
--
to answer the question,
I wouldnt mind, theres diffrently some goodlooking mtfs and more importantly some with good hearts, and I kinda date one in my past already and im open for others XD, but I think it depends alot about people and there sexualety how openminded they are but to me the questions seams almost like: "would you date someone with darker skin" or "would you date someone who where polish" I mean thats a large group of people and the bottom line is, if I like them "sure".
Quote from: Natkat on April 17, 2013, 03:43:59 PM
Where you have your knowlegde of "most ftms" from? my experience been that alot of ftms seams open for it.
I dont get your statement that people would stare, not all mtf have very maculine features or any ftms to be very femenine and outstanding, it sure depend on how well you pass or your style and sure your area as well but one of my friends date mtf-ftm and they look like very regular men or women which nobody notice, maybe the most comming problem would be mtf tend to be taller and ftms tend to be smaller than regular men or women, so people might notice a high diffrence, but again we talk People so its a large diffrent numbers, and if thats the only issue its no diffrent than for regular cisgender relationships.
--
to answer the question,
I wouldnt mind, theres diffrently some goodlooking mtfs and more importantly some with good hearts, and I kinda date one in my past already and im open for others XD, but I think it depends alot about people and there sexualety how openminded they are but to me the questions seams almost like: "would you date someone with darker skin" or "would you date someone who where polish" I mean thats a large group of people and the bottom line is, if I like them "sure".
Makes a lot of sense. :3
Quote from: Natkat on April 17, 2013, 03:43:59 PM
Where you have your knowlegde of "most ftms" from? my experience been that alot of ftms seams open for it.
I dont get your statement that people would stare, not all mtf have very maculine features or any ftms to be very femenine and outstanding, it sure depend on how well you pass or your style and sure your area as well but one of my friends date mtf-ftm and they look like very regular men or women which nobody notice, maybe the most comming problem would be mtf tend to be taller and ftms tend to be smaller than regular men or women, so people might notice a high diffrence, but again we talk People so its a large diffrent numbers, and if thats the only issue its no diffrent than for regular cisgender relationships.
Every trans man i've spoken to that wants to be stealth said they wouldn't date a trans woman.
I pass on my own. I pass when I'm with cis girls. I pass when I'm with cis guys.
When I'm next to a trans man, is when all my masc features stand out compared to his fem features.
I know i'm making sense, and any tg person that wants to be stealth wouldn't want to risk being clocked that way.
It's not discriminating against yourself or to other tg people by saying "I wouldn't date another"
I honestly have no idea. I'm probably demisexual but I don't go into labels and I've never cared about it enough to really work it out. All I know is that for the moment I'm happy with my cis girlfriend, and I don't want to think about anyone else.
Ironically I was with a trans woman/female leaning genderqueer person for 8 months, but it was while they were still identifying as male, and didn't really question their feelings apart from the occasional experience of phantom breasts. Because of other things which have happened in both of our lives I don't think we would ever get back together if we both found ourselves single, but that's more of our other things rather than gender.
I wouldn't considered whether I would pass, or be more easily spotted as trans when considering a partner. I'm of the mindset that our lives shouldn't be ruled by this.
I agree with Democration. If I like and respect them and they like and respect me, that's what's important. As for going stealth, yeah it would be nice, but my goal is to be like a regular guy. I don't want to spend my life worrying about what other people think.
Quote from: =celestica= on April 17, 2013, 04:09:27 PM
Every trans man i've spoken to that wants to be stealth said they wouldn't date a trans woman.
I pass on my own. I pass when I'm with cis girls. I pass when I'm with cis guys.
When I'm next to a trans man, is when all my masc features stand out compared to his fem features.
I know i'm making sense, and any tg person that wants to be stealth wouldn't want to risk being clocked that way.
It's not discriminating against yourself or to other tg people by saying "I wouldn't date another"
Okay then we talk
stealth trans guys, not
transguys in general.
alot of transguys dont live stealth after all, but your deffinicions still seams narrow to me since theres ALOT of transpeople, and many who also pass well both mtf and ftms, which arn't at at a risk point of outing you.
I know diffrent transgenders who is in relationships, for some there very casual for others they seams more outstanding. from one of my friends who claim himself stealth have mention the thing about people who would stare at his girlfriend cause she didnt pass very well and it was bothering when he wasnt the outstanding type, however it seams to doubt that to be the reason for them to break up, as I understood it was something ells I dont remember, he dosent have problems hanging out with transwomen in general so I doubt it would be the caise, if she had been another transwomen who was more wellpassable and didnt had an outstanding style I guess it wouldnt be mentioned at all.
your allowed of your own opinion and for your friends, but my problem is you state it as the ultimate trust and label it as every mtf is gonna make you unpassable, or is unpassable, to be stealth. and that's just not true.
if your not to keen of going out for out and proud transwomen who could "out you" then thats it, however not all mtfs are like that.
I would. As for the issue of being stealth and the possibility of being clocked, I think that would happen only early in transition - i.e., when the FTM in question hasn't been on T long enough to have all the secondary sex characteristics fully developed.
Quote from: =celestica= on April 17, 2013, 04:09:27 PM
Every trans man i've spoken to that wants to be stealth said they wouldn't date a trans woman.
Stealth here and would date a transwoman. No need to generalize all of us by the few you know.
My cis gf looks like a butch lesbian and I look like a redneck. I'm used to confusing people. Good, it makes them think. Living your life a certain way just so others don't flap their pie holes is a sad way to live, imo.
Like I always say, People are going to talk but if they're talking about me at least they're leaving somebody else alone. :laugh:
I don't think I'd ever date a trans woman. Someone said they would because there would be a bond, but in my mind they are rejecting the male in favor of the female where as I'm doing the exact opposite. Despite the fact that I understand I need to accept people for who they are, as they are, I can't help but think 'but you're so LUCKY! You've got a functional penis and testicles and the ability to get someone pregnant and I'm so jealous.'
Quote from: randomroads on April 17, 2013, 05:29:36 PM
I don't think I'd ever date a trans woman. Someone said they would because there would be a bond, but in my mind they are rejecting the male in favor of the female where as I'm doing the exact opposite. Despite the fact that I understand I need to accept people for who they are, as they are, I can't help but think 'but you're so LUCKY! You've got a functional penis and testicles and the ability to get someone pregnant and I'm so jealous.'
My girl friend has had surgery so that wouldn't apply. We don't have conversations like that, it is just dysphoria producing for no purpose. We did decide that we'd like to switch bodies but it was sort of silly talk. She is probably much more careful than a cis woman would be in aggravating my dysphoria (and probably vice versa).
--Jay
I wouldn't want to be with another transsexual. Oddly enough, I happen to be in a relationship with one.
So let me word this a little differently, if this relationship were to end, i would never do it again. I trigger his dysphoria and he triggers mine. Also he (unfortunately) doesn't always pass so a lot of people know and i have this constant fear of people thinking i'm trans by association.
One of my friends came out to me as MtF when I came out to her. She's definitely cool and I like her; I was friends with her already! I'm gay, so my answer as to dating is no. I will say that it's been easier talking to her about things though, since she already has an understanding that most cis people don't. So yeah, there's a connection there that's nice.
As far as not wanting to be around MtF people for fear of not passing? No. She's not out officially and doesn't pass, but we go out sometimes with her presenting as female. I pass about 70-80% of the time, though I'm usually read as being 12-15. I don't worry about her hindering my passing. Even if that was the case, she's my friend and I'm not afraid/ashamed/embarrassed to be seen with her. On the contrary, she's one of the bravest people I know, much braver than I am, and I'm proud to call her my friend. I'm not "out" and I plan on being stealth after getting farther into my transition, but I would never consider cutting ties with other trans people because I was afraid they would make me pass less. I mean, if we can't support each other... You know? And you don't have to be trans to be dating/friends with/support trans people, so I don't think people would automatically make that assumption anyway. Just my take on that.