So today, my mother and I were at Walmart. She was grocery shopping and I went along cause I needed to pick up a prescription refill at the pharmacy.
Anyways, as the hour went along we were just talking about random things that came to mind and then my mother brought up something that apparently happened while we were out for dinner last night. Apparently while we were at the restaurant my mom noticed some lady behind me giving me weird looks. I just kinda went alrighty then... And my mom goes off saying stuff like, "Maybe she thought we are a couple!" sounding a bit embarrassed about it. I just gave her a seriously kind of look and shrugged.
I went on to say, "Or maybe she knew me from somewhere and doesn't like me." like whatever at this point, didn't really care myself if someone gave me a funky look. My mom pipes up, "Or she thought you were a guy and realized you're not!" and I gave her a half confused look... Mostly because I never thought I'd hear my mother say something like that, especially since I haven't come out to her as trans just yet.
So I just sort of shrugged it off and the grocery shopping continued. As we were leaving walmart my mother brought up something about my sister. See it's a long story, but to shorten it up my sister is trying to gain full custody of my niece because the father is being... Well he's constantly upsetting my sister and now my sister suspects he's on drugs. Apparently my sister said to my mother that Ada won't have a male figure in her life now (My sister has "daddy issues" because we don't know who her real biological father is), and my mom apparently told my sister I could be the male figure for my niece.
That one threw me off the most. I wonder if she's already suspecting my being trans, or if she's just playing around making jokes? I don't know how to take it, and if I should see this as a sign that my mother may not flip out as badly as I assume she will... How would the rest of you take this?
From reading your brief description it sounds like your Mom loves you very much and she can see you for who you are. Also, it sounds like she accepts you for you.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on April 21, 2013, 12:18:52 PM
From reading your brief description it sounds like your Mom loves you very much and she can see you for who you are. Also, it sounds like she accepts you for you.
I am seriously hoping that's the case. I know my mother didn't react well to my coming out as lesbian when I was a teen. I just hope she'll see this one with a more positive light. Like in a way that says, "Well hey, technically this makes you straight!" sort of positive lol. A but of lame humor there, I'm full of it.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on April 21, 2013, 12:18:52 PM
From reading your brief description it sounds like your Mom loves you very much and she can see you for who you are. Also, it sounds like she accepts you for you.
+1
I'd say your mom knows something (or at least suspects)...like she was trying to get you to come out to her...I'm very much the forgiving type, maybe she feels guilty over her response when you said you were gay, and now she suspects you're TS now, and she's sorry that she lost your trust in her...
Damn hormones...your story is making me weep a little...it's ok, I'm just such a girl...*hugs*
Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 21, 2013, 01:07:16 PM
+1
I'd say your mom knows something (or at least suspects)...like she was trying to get you to come out to her...I'm very much the forgiving type, maybe she feels guilty over her response when you said you were gay, and now she suspects you're TS now, and she's sorry that she lost your trust in her...
Damn hormones...your story is making me weep a little...it's ok, I'm just such a girl...*hugs*
-hug- Thanks, I'm hoping this is the case. I want to take it as a good sign. Either way I'm waiting to tell her cause I'm on the last two weeks of my semester in college. I want to at least finish it out without having extra stress if my mother does end up taking it badly. I need to focus on my finals, you know? At least have two semesters of college under my belt in case I have to find another place to live (currently the stereotypical nerd in my mother's basement lol). Then at least I can restart college without a bad mark on my record and losing the chance of getting financial aid when I can continue again.
Anyways, thanks for all the encouragement you two, it's helping me feel a bit more at ease with this situation. I just wasn't sure if I should take it as a good sign or not. Right now I'll take it as a good thing. If she suspects already this might over more smoothly than I first suspected. It's not that I don't trust my mother, I just fear the reaction she might have.
Hey Jerred,
Yeah, it sounds like she knows or suspects something. From what you have said, it seems like she is bringing it up intentionally so you will tell her. Sometimes we aren't as good as hiding as it seems. Then again, you never know. I have had these moments with my family too and sometimes I suspect they know something; however, I could never imagine how they would guess. But, I get weird statements and have conversations that really seem like they are asking for me to come out. Then again, they might just think I'm gay. Maybe your mom is getting more comfortable with the idea of you as a lesbian (even though your not, this is what she still thinks) and is making jokes about it to show you her comfort. There is always the stereotype of the masculine lesbian, so maybe her comments were directed in that area. It doesn't seem that way- I really do think she suspects something- but you never know.
In any event, I think it is great you have a plan and are getting closer to starting it all.
Good luck on finals!!!
Congrats! It seems like she already has a pretty good idea about what's going on, and she seems supportive so far. I hope you're one of the lucky ones, too.
Quote from: Blaine on April 21, 2013, 10:54:12 PM
Congrats! It seems like she already has a pretty good idea about what's going on, and she seems supportive so far. I hope you're one of the lucky ones, too.
Me too, man. Me too lol
Your mum always knew. She just had difficulties dealing with it.
What has happened demonstrates that she has come to terms with reality and see the positives.
Thanks again everyone, it's giving me hope that things will turn out alright in the end.
On an update I asked her about it last night after she got home from hanging out with my sister. I was just like so what makes you say I'd be like a male figure for my niece? She said, "Oh I dunno, cause you were never very girly." which is very true. Even as a little kid I was never doing girly things like painting my nails and what not. But ya, it gives me hope.
Your experience do kinda reinforce the notion that our gender is built it.
To use an expression, Born This Way.
I get the feeling you're in a great place Jerred.
Quote from: Jerred1985 on April 22, 2013, 07:10:34 AM
Thanks again everyone, it's giving me hope that things will turn out alright in the end.
On an update I asked her about it last night after she got home from hanging out with my sister. I was just like so what makes you say I'd be like a male figure for my niece? She said, "Oh I dunno, cause you were never very girly." which is very true. Even as a little kid I was never doing girly things like painting my nails and what not. But ya, it gives me hope.
You are really missing out on the painting nails thing. It can be very fun!
It does sound like your mom is getting more accepting of your masculinity which is a good sign. I can't say for certain, but it sounds like you have a loving and supportive mother. I agree with what spacial said in the above post, it really seems like your in a great place.