When it rains, it pours.
Today I forgot my lunch so I decided to hit a local Arbys for a roast beef sandwich. I was in hurry and used the drive thru. I have been to this store before, both the drive thru and sitting inside and never had an issue. Today however, was quite a bit different.
While at the window waiting to pay and receive my change there was someone behind the teller that was saying a few odd things but I chalked that up to some of the speech that is used today among younger crowds. In particular the word freak was used. What the teller did though let me know that it was aimed directly at me and there must have been a "come over here and look" moment. Just as I received the food the guy called me Ma'am and then commented/asked that I must like being called that.
I drove off. I am not going to dress down a teenager and I most certainly did not have time to ask for the manager (who I think was standing behind the two idiots at the time and said nothing) so I sent in a complaint to the corporation. I did word it in such a fashion that the reader would not be able to tell where I fell in the LGBT community because it is none of their business.
Basically said that I do not particularly like being called a dyke (could not tell if it was mumbled, the second male did not speak well) or a freak (definitely said, but he tried garbling it on purpose, speaking while sucking air in) or being asked if I liked being called Ma'am in the manner that the teller chose to do so. Suggested that there are a number of companies and organisations out there who are capable in providing diversity training to employees and that I recommend that they do so with all haste.
If a few others would care to write in, the store number is Unit #00179. I did not leave them a phone # which will force them to deal with me via email and snail mail which is far easier for me.
LIT
Well done LIT, i would write but im in the UK, do you think they will mind
same here, i'm in the UK too - but i write a powerful letter. I really hate injustice and have had many an cust. assistant quivering and the people hearing the phone call pretty scared also. But I'd be glad to... *holds in all expletives that is dying to put in post*
I have two ways I normally handle these types of situations. The first is that I smile and tell them thank you and have a nice day. Killing them with kindness is always fun. :) the second method I use is just telling them that yes, i am a transsexual and is there anything else they would like to know. The brutal honesty usually stuns them to a point of they feel ashamed because I didn't let them get the best of me and I am proud of who i am.
Just an idea :)
I finally received a response yesterday. two free meal cards. ::) and a letter saying about how sorry they were and that my suggestion for diversity training is being taken seriously. ::)
The free meal cards are only good in the county where I had the trouble. Would have been better if they were nationwide since I travel so often.
Dude. I worked at Arby's. They're pricks about gender discrimination. SUE!!! =D
Kidding. But they suck.
Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on September 21, 2007, 07:41:31 PM
Dude. I worked at Arby's. They're pricks about gender discrimination. SUE!!! =D
Kidding. But they suck.
You have all the fast food experience zombie don't you :) Now Burger King huh!
Anyways sorry, back on subject, I'm sorry you had to encounter that. And hopefully the business will actually take the manner seriously. I don't get why they would be that mean to you though. No matter what, if I ever encounter anyone at my work who is defying the social norms I wouldn't dare to say anything and just treat them normal. They know what they're doing and they have their reasons, I don't think they need to be reminded. Either way it's impolite, and a-holish.
CEO's of big corporations look at these types of complaints seriously. Your money is just as green as everyone else!- it's usaully the ppl that work there that start these probs NOT the ppl operating the chains, why would they be racist?- If being kind to trans will make them money they don't care what skimpy skirt you wear or what you act like.
Hi, LIT,
I see that you have a Lambda Legal logo and ENDA slogan on your signature. Do you live or work in the Washington, DC area? Just curious because I used to live in the area myself.
I'd not take any crap from anyone, especially spending money. Please have a look at some of my posts above. I hope that they help.
Drive-in, walk-in, order by web, we should always demand the respect due to a paying customer.
Wing Walker
Nope, happily not anywhere near DC although I do miss the Smithsonian museums.
I generally do not raise a ruckus unless the situation really hits me in a bad way. I have not returned to that particular Arby's and did enjoy the meals I received for free while I was traveling. :)
LIT.........
Very sorry for the shameful, childish behavior that was levelled at you through a fast food window.
I found in the past, that letting them have a chuckle or a sneer at my expense, deserves a suitable response. The best response I've made is, "Pardon me, but what is your name, and the name of your manager? What is your store number?
Then take your time to write them down, while they watch. It's like making a condemned man watch you build his scaffold. Very satisfying >:D
Bev
I was having a bad day or I would have reached under the seat for my crop and say, "Only when you are up on the cross." I learned that from George W Bush. Shock and awe. ;)
Quote from: Beverly on November 04, 2007, 08:16:04 PM
LIT.........
Very sorry for the shameful, childish behavior that was levelled at you through a fast food window.
I found in the past, that letting them have a chuckle or a sneer at my expense, deserves a suitable response. The best response I've made is, "Pardon me, but what is your name, and the name of your manager? What is your store number?
Then take your time to write them down, while they watch. It's like making a condemned man watch you build his scaffold. Very satisfying >:D
Bev
Hi, Bev,
May I make a comment on your response (above)? Your perspective of "hang the man" is right-on.
I wound **never** say "pardon me" to anyone who has harassed or offended me as you discussed. **Demand** the info you want.
"What is your name and store number? Call your manager, now! Either you call your manager or I will." The dynamic cannot be flipped if we are polite. It seems to water-down that which is firm within us.
I also recommend reading "Back Off!" by Martha Langelan. It's my handbook on how to handle sexual harassment, gender harassment, problems on the job, with rude people in general.
Hope this helps. No crop can work as well as the verbal jujitsu made to take down the rude and harassers.
Wing Walker
Adding Weapons to Her Airplane