X
Take a bath or long hot shower.
get as relaxed as you can, even have a glass of wine.
within about a month I tried to make it "fun". I was taking long baths or long hot showers, I was reading sexy books, even watching very soft core porn. I always I would dim the lights, really relax me and after about 6 weeks it wasn't too bad.
I think you are, from reading your post, trying to make it happen and that it making it harder than it has to be.
My local GP recommended massaging the scar tissue for about 5 minutes twice a day - very gently, very briefly, and at a different time from dilation. He said that would help it heal without constricting (and it's his suggestion to anyone with major scarring, not specific to GRS issues). It really worked surprisingly well; I went from significant pain at entry to essentially zero, although it took a month or two of the massage before it stopped hurting entirely. My guess, and it's ONLY a guess, is that since you didn't have trouble for the first month, that "first inch" problem is probably scar tissue tightening up and not the pelvic bone - since the bone and the pelvic muscle have been there since the beginning. :) Apparently, depending on how quick someone heals, the scar tissue goes from healing-and-flexible to starting to contract around the 2-4 month mark.
I also use an applicator (like they sell for yeast infection creams) to get lube deep inside before I put the dilator in, because a lot of lube was getting scraped off at the entrance, and that helps with the last inch or two.
One thing that I do is move the tip in a circular motion. It helps and gives me pleasure haha. ;)
I had a problem come up at week 4 when I began my 1 3/8" dilator that actually was frustrating, but had a simple solution.
Put a very thick folded bath towel under your rear end, and have your knees up and flexed, and no pillow under your head. Yep, raise your tail and get the knees up as if you were going to wrap them around the hips of a well endowed lover. Try raising off the towel a bit and adjusting your angle that way, the muscle flexing in the area helps. This will take care of the first two inches problem. Gently tease the dilator into the opening, and twist it slightly to coax the vagina open, go gently and back it up if it starts to hurt. When the hurt quits, start going in again.
Pounding the dilator in like its a railroad spike hurts like hell.
(I still have no idea what the term "dynamic dilation" means, it sounds too painful for me to bear.
Kia Ora Cherrie,
Perhaps this might help...
http://www.intelleng.com/zen.html (http://www.intelleng.com/zen.html)
Metta Zenda :)
That is one awesome guide
Thank you for sharing
I am hoping to share this bit of personal experience...for two months my way of getting pass the first inch was brute force, and it worked. I just put a lot of pressure on the spot and after like 5 minutes, presto! I feel something give way inside and I'm in.
Now I learnt the hard way that THIS IS WRONG!!! What upsets me is that nobody told me I was doing wrong and even reinforced the idea that passing the pc muscle is like that.
The reason for the strong resistance turned out to be not the pc muscle, but because I was inserting too high. By keeping the dilators horizontal and not far enough from the clitoris, I am actually pinning the vagina wall against something inside, which in a frustrating session in the third month caused active bleeding and many days of recovery pain...
The trick which I figured out is that contrary to what you may be taught by your surgeon, when you are an inch inside and feels the resistance, don't press harder! Instead move the dilator a little further from the clitoris while keeping the dilator itself horizontal. You should feel the pc muscle opening getting stretched. Now the dilator will go in a bit more. Repeat till you are in.
Quote from: milktea on April 25, 2013, 12:48:02 AM
I am hoping to share this bit of personal experience...for two months my way of getting pass the first inch was brute force, and it worked. I just put a lot of pressure on the spot and after like 5 minutes, presto! I feel something give way inside and I'm in.
Now I learnt the hard way that THIS IS WRONG!!! What upsets me is that nobody told me I was doing wrong and even reinforced the idea that passing the pc muscle is like that.
The reason for the strong resistance turned out to be not the pc muscle, but because I was inserting too high. By keeping the dilators horizontal and not far enough from the clitoris, I am actually pinning the vagina wall against something inside, which in a frustrating session in the third month caused active bleeding and many days of recovery pain...
The trick which I figured out is that contrary to what you may be taught by your surgeon, when you are an inch inside and feels the resistance, don't press harder! Instead move the dilator a little further from the clitoris while keeping the dilator itself horizontal. You should feel the pc muscle opening getting stretched. Now the dilator will go in a bit more. Repeat till you are in.
I have found this to be also true in keeping the dilator at a good angle. I kinda found for me this out early like around 2nd week home and things starting to get tighter. Also found that if you add just a slight rotation when it hits tighter spots helps getting it to slide better.
I always thought "dynamic dilation" was a euphemism for PIV intercourse?