As of today, I've been on hormones for 2 years. It's somewhat of a milestone. It's been a heck of a ride and I've come a long way. :) I've gone from being a scared and scarred girl to a strong, confident woman. I'll confess that I've not had all the physical changes I'd like, but they are not the be all and end all.
I came out and kept my friends and family. I've worked and studied as a woman. I've found acceptance and friendship. I have a great therapist and an even better gyno. I've even found love.
Which brings to me to the no celebration bit. The woman I love is currently lying in a hospital bed. She has severe liver disease and we are currently waiting to see if she has any liver function left, or whether it's history. She's severely jaundiced, weak and currently weighs 37kg (82lbs). I'm frightened that she and I have gotten together just in time for me to lose her. As strong as I am, I fear that losing her would also be the end of me.
I want her well and I want her home. I miss her. Any milestone date should be spent with her and will be meaningless to me until I can celebrate it with her.
Prayer for your girl Kelly I will say a prayer for your girl Kelly
Oh Kelly, I hope we can be here for you and help you stay strong for her.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your special girl.
Big hug! What a complicated mess life is, we get thrown the good and the bad, and it's up to us to try and sort it out. Best wishes for her speedy recovery. Hugs, Devlyn
Here's hoping she gets better! I know what its like to watch a loved one in this position. I've had it happen multiple times. Whatever the case, I'm sure it will ultimately work out for the best.
Wait, is this person you? It's written almost poetically, I read it the first time like you're saying you finally started to love yourself, only to fall from liver disorder from hormones. Forgive me if I'm mistaken.
Quote from: Hideyoshi on April 30, 2013, 01:22:02 PM
Wait, is this person you? It's written almost poetically, I read it the first time like you're saying you finally started to love yourself, only to fall from liver disorder from hormones. Forgive me if I'm mistaken.
No, it's not me. It's my GF, Alison.
I pray for you and your love. Please don't loose hope if the worst does happen, that's not what your love would want. The only thing I can really offer you is this quote,
Quote"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness."
However I hope you do not have to experience that sadness, I am praying and rooting for your love, but I also congratulate you on your two year milestone, even if it seems bittersweet right now, *hugs*,
With Love to you,
Seb
QuoteThe good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
Don't know what to say...*hugs*...hope she can get better, and then you both can share more highs and lows together. (Sharing a low point doesn't sound like much, but it's better than having a low point alone)
*hugs*
I'm so so sorry Kelly. I really hope she gets better and things take a turn for the better. My thoughts are with you.
Thank you all for your support. :-*
I really wish there was something I could say or do to make things better. However, I truly hope Allison gets better and you both can celebrate many more milestones together.
Hugs.
Kelly, the both of you are in my heart and mind. Good thoughts for you - be strong.
And here's an update..
Alison's lever function has improved some, she's not out of the woods yet, but she's improving. She has more energy and is more alert - even a little bossy. :)
Thank you to you all for your prayers and thoughts.
@Kelly My wife's brother was an alcoholic most of his life & for the third time December 2011 he tried to drink himself out of life. With many hospital visits on his last bought, a failing liver we thought this is it, to see what he went through is really gut wrenching and sad. In January of 2012, I asked a female specialist Doctor cardio pulmonary if they thought he would pull through (he was on life support). She said, "oh, we have at least a dozen tricks up our sleeve yet." A few weeks later he was able to breathe on his own, slowly his liver began to improve & by April he was released into the world. Lots of worry & prayers, the Doctors & Bro-in-law amazed us all.
It is the Best that Alison's liver is improving as you indicate in your update! A wonderful sign of hope that things can turn around for the positive. Thoughts and Best wishes for both of you in Alison's recovery & that you will have many years of love ahead.
Hugs
Jamie
Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on April 30, 2013, 11:43:57 PM
Alison's lever function has improved some, she's not out of the woods yet, but she's improving. She has more energy and is more alert - even a little bossy. :)
* hug * That's good news. I'm hoping for continued recovery!
I will keep Alison and you in my prayers tonight, hugs.
I know we all feel for you & Alison. I hope both of you can stay strong & support each other completely.
I know how you must feel. I lost a friend after 25 years of friendship. I took care of him during his last 3 months on earth. I still think about
him almost every day. That was the most painful thing I've ever been thru. I even totaled my truck in a Mc Donnald's drivethru the day
after his funeral. I REALLY hope your friend gets better. I am pulling for her. Please remeber you have friends here to offer support.
I wish you all the luck in the world. Hugs. John
Another update:
Each day brings a little improvement. They are talking about letting her come home early next week, maybe. Just depends on whether she continues to improve the way she has been. Her LFT results are still off, but are also showing some improvement.
She thanks you all for your kind thoughts and best wishes, as do I.
That is good news, hope it continues to come my best to you both.
I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend. I hope she gets better.
Nothing better than good news. I am happy she's improving. Good luck to you both. ;)
You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
Another update:
Not so good today. Slipped backwards far enough that it's now unlikely she will be home early next week as previously thought. She just doesn't seem to be able to keep food down. :(
Good luck and best wishes
It was good to hear about the improvement but a real, absolute shame about the regression. Everything is crossed that it is two steps forwards and one step back rather than the opposite.
As a possibly entirely irrelevant aside Milk Thistle is the usual herbal remedy to aid the liver in repairing itself. Though obviously without knowing the particulars of the situation nor what other medication is involved the suggestion is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Anyhow, best wishes to you both and I very much hope things sort themselves out for the best. Soon.
Hugs,
Rosie
Hi Kelly,
Sorry I missed this, just got back from Sydney. I'm around if you want some company.
Hugs and Love to Alison.
Cindy
It is with much regret that I must report that Alison died this morning at around 3:15AM, 10 May 2013 - she was 41. She leaves behind 2 wonderful daughters. She hasn't always had an easy ride in life, but in her last few months I was able to show her the love of a good person, something that seemed a rarity in her life.
Right now, I'm kinda lost. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. All I know is that I miss her..
I'm sorry Kelly, so sorry.
Very sorry to hear. I think about you and wish you strengsth for the time to come
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I am so sorry to hear. Kelly.
My heart goes out to you Kelly...
Oh Kelly, I am so sorry for you. I wish there was something I could do or say to help.
You are in my thoughts.
Kelly, there is nothing I could ever say or do that would make this any less painful, nevertheless I am truly sorry for your loss.
I love someone too and live in terror of losing them, I can't imagine what you must be going through and hope I never have to find out.
I'd imagine it must feel extremely hard to go on without her, I'm not sure I could do it were I in your shoes. All I can think to say is, try to think about what she would have wanted you to do now. Take care of yourself, let people in your life try to help you.
I can't promise the hurt will ever completely go away, from my experiences with my own traumas and pain, it never fully does. I can't say I know what you're feeling at the moment, I've known loss and I've known true love, and having known the latter I know that I can't begin to know how much more losing the latter must hurt than what I've experienced with the former. But I think I can say that I hope you can hold on to the belief that one day the pain won't be this bad. Don't give up. There are people all around you who want to help and support you.
When you feel ready, and I know you must be still processing this and that it's probably to soon to have any idea what to do, but, when you feel ready, there are support groups dedicated to bringing people who have experienced this kind of tragedy together to help each other. That is of course only if you feel it might help you.
Again, I am truly sorry for your loss. I may not be able to understand how much pain you must be in, but I do know you're not alone, I hope you know that too. :(
I'm so sorry
So sorry. My deepest condolences.
Sorry for your loss Kelly, many hugs to you.
Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on May 09, 2013, 11:03:29 PM
Right now, I'm kinda lost. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. All I know is that I miss her..
Oh Kelly. Awful.
Please let us be here for you in whatever way we can.
:'( My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
I'm so, so sorry to hear this Kelly. If you ever need to talk I'm just a PM away. * hugs *