Do you think having a feminine looking face should come before any reassignment?
I don't know about should, but I think a lot of MtF prefer it. I know I'm one of them. I really think it should be up to the individual.
My reasons for preferring FFS first:
* Passing.
* My womanhood as a social aspect is very important to me. I'd like to blend and be treated as a girl without scrutiny or special treatment/recognition.
* My sexuality, while important to me, is worth holding off for another year or so to be able to enjoy my social presentation earlier.
* Having FFS first makes it more comfortable to fulfill the lengthy fulltime requirement for GRS.
* I'll feel so much happier looking in the mirror, and the sooner that's an availability, the better.
* I'll be much more confident and able to experiment with clothing and activities as a woman if I feel outwardly genuine.
* My insecurities would be limited to what's in my pants, whereas having GRS first causes me to remain insecure about my presentation, and feel as though what's in my pants won't get much attention.
* I'm fortunate enough to have a Consular Report of Birth (a birth certificate for children born abroad to U.S. citizens), so my legal changes to female can be made before GRS.
I'm sure others have a flip side view and would prefer GRS first. I think it'd be really interesting to hear from them.
.
For me, I would prefer FFS first and then GRS. I want to see the female in the mirror sooner. The other bits are not as bothersome as how I see myself currently.
It is not necessarily how everyone does it though. Some are most bothered by the lower regions.
Ffs first..
Definitely....just in case I don t grs( can't read the future )
I would rather ateast be taken as a pretty girl or even ts girl
For life...
In all seriousness, yeah FFS would probably come first. The way I see it if you need it that bad that you don't pass without then having an innie really isn't going to matter much. On the other hand, if you pass well without it, then SRS isn't needed to have sex because most men (and women) are attracted to the face and body not something no one ever sees. That's just the prize so to speak. And there are plenty of other ways to reach satisfaction. I don't wanna get all gross and icky so use your imagination.
I guess some people would need SRS and FFS to have sex because they may not feel comfy in their own skin enought ot get close to someone. Luckily for me, I don't really have these problems so my thoughts are pretty abstract. Feel free to disregard them. My thoughts that is.
No.
For me, its a bit of a toss up. I could really use ffs, but then I have a bit more dysphoria where my nethers are concerned.
I had SRS 39 years ago and never had FFS. Even after all these years I hear "cute" and "pretty" from strangers. Good genes I guess.
Quote from: Northern Jane on May 02, 2013, 08:12:32 PM
I had SRS 39 years ago and never had FFS. Even after all these years I hear "cute" and "pretty" from strangers. Good genes I guess.
Wow! That's awesome! So you were probably one of the first people to have SRS then, yes? I probably owe you a bit of gratitude so thanks for being one of the first. I mean 1973 is pretty early times af far as being trans is concerned.
I'm torn, but I think I'd go with SRS first, since my face isn't how I want it, but it's acceptable. Also, I can forget my face a lot of the time, but the bits down there and how damned uncomfortable they are all the freaking time... that's all 24/7 (well, minus sleep I guess).
I don't care a ton about being able to have sex, so the presence of a vulva isn't all that important in this. It's mostly the absence of a penis that matters. Not that it depresses me to no end. I do hate it, and it does make me feel awful when it gets excited - because whilst random erections have disappeared, they still happen when seeing sexual content or even thinking romantic, non-sexual thoughts. But it's the most uncomfortable thing in the world. And sometimes I walk and the tucking comes undone. Feels sooooo awful. And even if no one were there to see me, I can't fix it because my hands would get smelly.
But if I can, I definitely want a tracheal shave around the same time as my SRS. My Adam's apple isn't hugely obvious most of the time, but it's apparent. And most importantly, uncomfortable. It's only grown relatively recently (when I was 19 I think), and I think that's why it feels like a foreign body in my throat, getting in the way of every movement.
I think it is entirely up to the individual. However, if I had to choose, I would go with FFS first. Then again, I want to avoid going that route and just get SRS if possible. One, I don't have the money for 2 surgeries. Two, I feel terrified about surgery in general. And three, I am hoping that hormones will do enough to allow me to pass without it. We'll see in due time.
for me it was FFS then SRS
Quote from: Elsa.G on May 02, 2013, 06:07:05 PM
Do you think having a feminine looking face should come before any reassignment?
Kia Ora Elsa,
If one is not happy with how one looks 'face-wise',
[after you have been on HRT for a while] it would pay [if one can afford to ] to have FFS first... Because the general public are not going to know or judge ones appearance by looking at what's down below....
However in saying this, any surgery that is designed to alter ones physical appearance should not be entered into lightly, one should make sure it is something they really 'need' to feel comfortable when out in public...
It's all to do with how one presents to the general public and the general public will see ones face, but very few will see one naked in a public place [well a part from a nudist beach that is]....
Metta Zenda :)
I don't know. I hate knives, blood, pain, and recovering. my approach has been i wanna get threw the downstairs pain before i venture off to anywhere else on my body for cosmetic work because if i feel like dying getting FFS before SRS i prolly will scare myself with SRS worries.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on May 02, 2013, 08:20:53 PM
Wow! That's awesome! So you were probably one of the first people to have SRS then, yes? I probably owe you a bit of gratitude so thanks for being one of the first. I mean 1973 is pretty early times af far as being trans is concerned.
Not to derail the thread but thank you Joanna. I am not sure but I suspect I have a two-digit serial number LOL! It wasn't "bravery" or anything else noble but simply a matter of survival.
Quote from: Kuan Yin on May 02, 2013, 10:18:33 PM
If one is not happy with how one looks 'face-wise',[after you have been on HRT for a while] it would pay [if one can afford to ] to have FFS first... Because the general public are not going to know or judge ones appearance by looking at what's down below....
If you're wearing tight jeans and short top and don't tuck it becomes painfully obvious, like a male ballet dancer in tights. Instant clock. Tucking has its limitations, is painful for long periods and still shows a lump unless you tape really tight, not to mention a tucking malfunction.
Should? There are no universal laws in this respect. But it was my preference. I'm getting used to surgeries, even starting to enjoy them (tongue in cheek sarcasm). Five generals so far. Another one this year for SRS. One thing I made sure was to finish electrolysis before having any surgeries. I can't imagine having to
shave in hospital after SRS, or any stay in hospital for that matter. It would have been a profound incongruity for me.
Of course it's all down to the individual and what's most important for them about "feeling right" - maybe social integration is most important to them, maybe they're blessed with feminine features anyway, maybe having a dangly reminder is worst of all.
For me, GRS was near lowest on the list of priorities, since - thank Zod! - it wasn't in anyone's faces day-to-day, lol.
Voice was the single most important thing for me, and still is, and I'm still looking to get something permanent done about that, even as I wait mere weeks for GRS (I had FFS 2 years after transitioning - 2010) - otherwise I was content with micropore tape every day whilst I attended to "everything else" !
If I had the choice it would have to be FFS first and then GRS/SRS.
FFS would be something that would be necessary for a day-to-day basis without which it might be impossible to pass.
While GRS/SRS as long as nobody checks the nasty bits downstairs its fine.
I'd probably go for FFS before SRS if the prices were equal. As much as I would like to believe that I'm some pretty, cis-looking 19-year-old-looking chica, I know myself to be androgynous-looking.
I wonder if it's simple merciless vanity, at times, or if I have serious problems with how I still look.
If I looked great with just hormones, I would obviously get SRS first... I'm putting off intimate relationships and summer clothing until then.
In the end, though, to resemble my female peers will require both FFS and SRS. Of the two, FFS will be more impactful on my everyday life, but it's not that much more important than SRS to someone whose facial features do not fit within tolerable ranges.
Quote from: Serena Lynn on May 02, 2013, 10:28:50 PM
I don't know. I hate knives, blood, pain, and recovering. my approach has been i wanna get threw the downstairs pain before i venture off to anywhere else on my body for cosmetic work because if i feel like dying getting FFS before SRS i prolly will scare myself with SRS worries.
i hated the idea of surgery too but FFS was not that bad at all. now SRS was no fun
I want GRS first
Quote from: Sybil on May 02, 2013, 06:25:41 PM
I don't know about should, but I think a lot of MtF prefer it. I know I'm one of them. I really think it should be up to the individual.
My reasons for preferring FFS first:
* Passing.
* My womanhood as a social aspect is very important to me. I'd like to blend and be treated as a girl without scrutiny or special treatment/recognition.
* My sexuality, while important to me, is worth holding off for another year or so to be able to enjoy my social presentation earlier.
* Having FFS first makes it more comfortable to fulfill the lengthy fulltime requirement for GRS.
* I'll feel so much happier looking in the mirror, and the sooner that's an availability, the better.
* I'll be much more confident and able to experiment with clothing and activities as a woman if I feel outwardly genuine.
* My insecurities would be limited to what's in my pants, whereas having GRS first causes me to remain insecure about my presentation, and feel as though what's in my pants won't get much attention.
Definitely FFS first for all the reasons cited above plus the fact that my passability was in the sub-zero range. As it happens it's already done and it has literally changed my life allowing me to live openly as a woman without any problems at all, this even before the final touch, a lower face-lift scheduled for the autumn. With that I will have changed from looking like a very masculine 50 something year old male to what I hope will be a reasonably attractive 55 year old woman.
While quite traumatic, 15 hours surgery in total for me in two sessions, FFS is generally not painful at all, just a lot of physical discomfort from swelling and psychological discomfort for a while from looking like you had been hit in the face by a runaway bus... :). Aesthetic results can be an issue as can numbness and loss of sensation but, in general, there are almost never any major complications like you can get with GRS.
Just a detail, not sure I understand the issues people are having with tucking and two suggestions for those who are, gaffs (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000KIJARQ/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000KIJARQ/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)) or simply well adjusted cotton panties which don't stretch very much.
Bises.
Donna
I'm on the fence right now with that decision. I need a face lift & neck lift to look better & more feminine for sure. This will be my first real surgery in my life. I'm not very good with the thought of being cut on however it will be necessary for my self confidence to be more passable to the world.
?????
Well, I've already made my decision. I'm having FFS on Thursday with Dr. Jeffrey Spiegel in Boston.
I am actually re-transitioning. I started my transition in 2000, but stopped after several years. I started again in January 2012. I plan to start living full-time after Christmas, or possibly earlier.
I used to want SRS more than anything, but I'm more relaxed about it now. If I could press a button . . . of course. But I agree with the ladies here who have pointed out the practical reasons for choosing FFS first. I had an orchiectomy in 2000, which makes waiting more bearable.
My biggest concern is brow bossing, which is not very pronounced, but it's there.
By the way, this is my first post in the forum. Hi everybody! I hope to participate a lot in the coming months. I couldn't create an avatar with my photo, so I am posting it here (sans makeup and still with short hair!).
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/581786_4847914631509_1912968128_n.jpg)
Quote from: Nicolette on May 03, 2013, 06:15:39 AM
If you're wearing tight jeans and short top and don't tuck it becomes painfully obvious, like a male ballet dancer in tights. Instant clock. Tucking has its limitations, is painful for long periods and still shows a lump unless you tape really tight, not to mention a tucking malfunction.
Maybe I'm "lucky" in this regard, but I just cant wear tight sweats. Jeans I have less of an issue with.
My vote is for FFS first. While you can hide whats down there with clothes or whatever, you can't hide manly features in your face as easily.
I'm surprised there aren't more people not intending to get FFS at all.
But yeah, for me, GRS is far, far, far more important.
FFS before SRS?
Yes, for me. Everyone sees my face everyday...not so often what's between my legs. What is down there isn't as much a source of anguish as my face.
But everyone is different with different priorities...and it's all good.
It's a toss up, I should have, passing in the US is a matter of life and death other countries are more accepting
Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on June 11, 2013, 10:25:18 AM
It's a toss up, I should have, passing in the US is a matter of life and death other countries are more accepting
This is so true. My high school days and college days would not have been good if I did not pass