Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Kade1985 on May 07, 2013, 12:29:20 PM

Title: When should I tell my mom?
Post by: Kade1985 on May 07, 2013, 12:29:20 PM
So, I've been waiting to come out to my mom for a couple reasons. One, I had college finals to tackle, two it was my niece's birthday party last Sunday, and now Mother's Day is this weekend. I don't want to ruin it for her but I feel if I don't tell her soon then I may not get the guts to for a while.

Where as I love my mother, and don't wish to ruin her weekend... I just feel I need to do something soon.

So the question is... should I wait for the holiday to pass... or should I say something this week? I can't decide myself. Well I can but... I want to know if now is the best time or if I should wait another week. I was never very tactful in the first place lol
Title: Re: When should I tell my mom?
Post by: Ltl89 on May 07, 2013, 01:28:14 PM
Hey Jerred,

Tell her when you feel comfortable.  No one here can can say you should do it now or later.  This is a decision that only you can make. 

However, I can totally relate with where you are coming from.  I live with my mom as well and feel the need to come out because otherwise I can't move forward.  Yet, I am terrified to do so because I am somewhat dependent on her and would have no where else to go. Nonetheless, I know what has to be done and have been working on becoming courageous and plan on saying something soon.  Personally, I have decided to let mothers day pass before I consider coming out.  I love my mom and want her to have a great day.  Coming out beforehand will make some difficulties and I don't want to spoil her special day.  My mom always looks forward to this day, and I want her to fully enjoy it.  You situation may be very different, but this is something that only you can decide. If you could wait though, I think that might be easier for her.     
Title: Re: When should I tell my mom?
Post by: spacial on May 07, 2013, 01:31:36 PM
Why would it ruin her weekend.

Knowing one of her precious children has made a significant self discovery which will make their life happier?

Anyway, I get the impression your mom already knows. So, what you'll be doing is being honest with her.

That's a great gift.



Addition.

Yoy have two differing points of view. Sorry, didn't mean to create another decision.
Title: Re: When should I tell my mom?
Post by: Kade1985 on May 07, 2013, 01:54:49 PM
Quote from: spacial on May 07, 2013, 01:31:36 PM
Why would it ruin her weekend.

I dunno if she does have a suspicion or not. If she doesn't, and takes it badly I don't want to ruin Mothers Day as it's her day, you know? I don't know if she plans on doing anything nice for herself or not, and if she does, I don't want my coming out to.. I dunno make it all fall apart on her.

But if she does have a suspicion.. Or does realize something's up, because I have been acting more myself than I ever have (more.. lol "manly") Well then it won't ruin a thing, but I never like to assume... Assuming usually ends up with me neck deep in trouble because I assumed incorrectly and managed to anger someone in the process (never my intention but like I said in the opening post, I'm not very tactful).

So ya that's my dilemma. I'm starting to think I should just wait till next week... Even though I just printed out my letter and a pamphlet with information about transgender stuff. -sighs- Why must this be harder than it is lol
Title: Re: When should I tell my mom?
Post by: Sarah Louise on May 07, 2013, 01:58:49 PM
Its Mother's Day weekend, why take the chance.

You've waited this long, what's another week?