Ive been on hormones and living fulltime for 14yrs. Im going on 34yrs old... At some point Im guessing its not gonna happen. Im supposing Id rather make my breasts bigger. I dont like having a penis, but well, there it is, its still there. hello penis, you dont have 20grand for me to get rid of you do you? No? Do you at least have 5000 so I could have bigger breasts? No? Well you dont do me any good do you? oh.. well there is that hahahaha
Anyways, howdy, guess I shouldnt complain, Im cute, passable, and have lived this way for 14yrs. Ive loved and lost, sometimes lost due to it, sometimes loved because of it. ha!
Complicated I know. I guess at some point, you just accept it. I try to tell myself that Im lucky to even have all the advantages that being transsexual in this day in age. Imagine 100yrs ago, there wasnt surgery, among other things.
Guess Im faily happy with myself, and at this point have just accepted what I have.
Welcome! "Fairly Happy" beats the hell out of a host of other options! ^-^
I say only fairly happy, but it does cause me alot of real life problems. I dont like it first of all doesnt feel right, but I mean Its been 14 yrs since I went full time and there is still no surgery in my future :(
It mostly has caused problems with boyfriends. I tend to be attracted to (and, attract) straight guys who dont have a thing for transsexuals. They do tend to be open minded, free thinkers, and usually give it a shot, but in the end, Im pretty sure its my pre-op state that drives them away. My first boyfriend at 22 (I waited some years after going fulltime to date anyone) didnt know I was transsexual. It was very hard to tell him, but he ended up 'giving it a shot' with me, ultimately it did drive him away. At some point in my late 20's I stoped being 'stealth' I didnt tell everyone, but I was a bit more loud about at least saying I was genderqueer in some way.
Currently Ive been sticking to bisexual males. The current guy I am dating is openly bisexual. Its a huge relief in some ways, and in other ways, well I know he's sexually attracted to it. It doesnt bother me most times, because he never ever asks me to do anything I dont want. He's rather respectful, and hasnt treated me any different than he would probably treat a cis-gendered woman.
I have had experiences and relationships with women sometimes rather rewarding and long. Usually lesbians, occasionally bisexual women. I feel the only reason I even bothered though, was because they seemed to deal with it much better. My transsexual status has never driven away a woman.
After I dumped a long time female lover mid last year, I have deffiently gone back to men. The first one was a straight guy, who at first was cool, but ultimately he even told me straight up that is why he couldnt be with me. I asked him if I was post-op if it would change anything, and he ho;d and hum'd about it, but really told me the main reason was I couldnt have children. So on the other hand, I dont feel too bad, cuz even if I could have children, I wouldnt.
Quote from: ParadigmCrime on May 10, 2013, 08:08:30 AM
Ive been on hormones and living fulltime for 14yrs. Im going on 34yrs old... At some point Im guessing its not gonna happen. Im supposing Id rather make my breasts bigger. I dont like having a penis, but well, there it is, its still there. hello penis, you dont have 20grand for me to get rid of you do you? No? Do you at least have 5000 so I could have bigger breasts? No? Well you dont do me any good do you? oh.. well there is that hahahaha
Anyways, howdy, guess I shouldnt complain, Im cute, passable, and have lived this way for 14yrs. Ive loved and lost, sometimes lost due to it, sometimes loved because of it. ha!
Complicated I know. I guess at some point, you just accept it. I try to tell myself that Im lucky to even have all the advantages that being transsexual in this day in age. Imagine 100yrs ago, there wasnt surgery, among other things.
Guess Im fairly happy with myself, and at this point have just accepted what I have.
You make a good point about what our sisters and brothers did decades ago. SRS only became a reality in the 1950s. Cross-hormone therapy was first used in the 1930s. Natal male could always get castrated, but that was about it.
Our predecessors had to do their best to cope with a dysphoria that had no name.
Quote from: Jamie D on May 10, 2013, 07:28:03 PM
You make a good point about what our sisters and brothers did decades ago. SRS only became a reality in the 1950s. Cross-hormone therapy was first used in the 1930s. Natal male could always get castrated, but that was about it.
Our predecessors had to do their best to cope with a dysphoria that had no name.
Wasn't there a song about this...?
"Been through the dysphoria on a crotch with no name
It felt good to be tucked with no shame
In the bars you can remember your name
"Cause there ain't no one to give you no oranges..."Hey PC, there's no timetable for SRS. 14 years FT, you're mostly happy, things are going good. ;)
Quote from: Beth Andrea on May 10, 2013, 08:39:50 PM
Wasn't there a song about this...?
"Been through the dysphoria on a crotch with no name
It felt good to be tucked with no shame
In the bars you can remember your name
"Cause there ain't no one to give you no oranges..."
Hey PC, there's no timetable for SRS. 14 years FT, you're mostly happy, things are going good. ;)
I will never be able to listen to that song again, and not crack up laughing.
Complicated, bisexual, passable and cute sounds pretty damn good. Being genderqueer and accepting yourself, priceless!
I came out Bi at 32 years old; you have miles to go before you sleep and a world of possibilities before you.
Part of me still believes the bisexuality is more of conditioning. I like women, but I honestly dont think I would have tried it if I didnt have so many problems with men.
I think everyone is a little bisexual. Maybe Im like 40% ;)
Quote from: ParadigmCrime on May 11, 2013, 12:34:20 PM
Part of me still believes the bisexuality is more of conditioning. I like women, but I honestly dont think I would have tried it if I didnt have so many problems with men.
I think everyone is a little bisexual. Maybe Im like 40% ;)
I tend to agree with that...me, I'm about 80f/20m (it used to be 90f/10m, but the longer I'm on hormoans....)
Growing up, I only had eyes for boys. But I never did anything with anyone until I was transitioned.
if you havnt tried, never say never. http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/ (http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/)
Quote from: ParadigmCrime on May 11, 2013, 12:34:20 PM
Part of me still believes the bisexuality is more of conditioning. I like women, but I honestly dont think I would have tried it if I didnt have so many problems with men.
I think everyone is a little bisexual. Maybe Im like 40% ;)
Interesting. I am of the school of thought that we are all innately bisexual (or pansexual, if you wish). I look at out closest relatives in the primate world, and see that their social structure is amazingly open, and it individuals enjoy sexual relations with others, regardless of gender.