Ever since I was about 19, I had this intense fear of aging. This may have been a result of me becoming more and more masculine as I aged, as around that time I started to have gender issues. It got to the point where I would look in the mirror every time I walked by it to see if I had a new wrinkle or if I looked older. Yeah, early 20s whining about age, exactly.
Anyways, once I started HRT at 24, my fear of aging was replaced by an excitement for aging. Because the older I got, that meant the longer I was on HRT, so the more changes I would have expected to accrue. It's strange.
Anybody else experience this phenomenon?
Yup, when I turned about 46...I realized how bad the hell I'd lived for the first 46 years of my life was, and I did NOT want a repeat of it. I was motivated in therapy to figure out what was wrong with me, and what I'd have to do to fix it...
Ta-DAAAAA!
Here I is, girlies! :-*
Not exactly on the topic you broach, there is another added bonus to aging that is the older you get the less you give a .. O.O errr the less you care what other people think, this may be a YMMV aspect, which is quite liberating.
I went thru the whole age, mortality thingy around 13, totally freaked out and sleepless for weeks.. till I realized I just needed to live life and enjoy the ride as long as it lasted :) Every day can and is the start of a new adventure.. I always look forward to adventures ...especially shopping ones!! =^..^=
Quote from: Hideyoshi on May 11, 2013, 04:58:13 PM
Yeah, early 20s whining about age, exactly.
I think everybody goes through this I remember turning 23 and being like omg I'm getting old! These birthdays are coming a lot quicker than I want! And just about everybody I know went through this.
I got hit severely.
I went to extremes.....bathing in salt and baking Soda...
Oil cleansing methods. Lemon for skin to clear and lighten.
And one day I got asked for my drivers to be smokes coz the cashier said
I was not 40...
I smiled and smiled lol ..now I do still get issues ..
Like omfg wtf I'm 40 who is going to marry me!!!!
I'll never get that late 20,s guy who's sooo hot...
Than i realize it's all going to be allright...eventrually LOL
Quote from: Hideyoshi on May 11, 2013, 04:58:13 PM
Ever since I was about 19, I had this intense fear of aging. This may have been a result of me becoming more and more masculine as I aged, as around that time I started to have gender issues. It got to the point where I would look in the mirror every time I walked by it to see if I had a new wrinkle or if I looked older. Yeah, early 20s whining about age, exactly.
Anyways, once I started HRT at 24, my fear of aging was replaced by an excitement for aging. Because the older I got, that meant the longer I was on HRT, so the more changes I would have expected to accrue. It's strange.
Anybody else experience this phenomenon?
Frankly, you look younger than mid-20s. If I was selling you liquor, I would card you in a second.
It's not that bad. I spent the first half of my life worrying about getting old. Now I just try to figure out how to die before Death gets me. Errrrr........
Is that a hello kitty top??
Omg omg I'm getting dysphpric I don't have any hello kitty
Sniffle sniffle
Being afraid of Living is worse then being afraid of dying.. <winks at Devlyn> Remember It's the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time. :angel:
Hello Kitty!!! O.O where!!?!!
Quote from: Lorri Kat on May 11, 2013, 10:18:50 PM
Being afraid of Living is worse then being afraid of dying.. <winks at Devlyn> Remember It's the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time. :angel:
Hello Kitty!!! O.O where!!?!!
Hideyoshi's shirt has a bunch of small hello kitty faces on it xD if you look closely you can see them.
{)0(} Hideyoshi you and Hello Kitty ROCK!!! {)0(}
Thanks khy!! .. I have to hold things farther away to see them now...LOL
Pish posh. I am way ahead of you girls. 59 this year.
Yip, add me to the club ;D
I used to worry about getting older all the time, although I must admit now that I've started transitioning it has'nt bothered me all too much.
Anyway, what's the point in worring about something you can't change!! Dos'nt really make sense does it!!
I can't say I feared aging since I hated my life back in my 20's. Like how much worse can it get?
As an extreme example, I twice experimented with transitioning in my 20's, early and late. Twice stopped opting for "normal", mostly out of knowing it was difficult to impossible to pass in that day and age. At 6ft tall I stood out as a woman in many way. My life experience to that point had the constant of standing out was very bad. Experience trying it as a woman confirmed that :(
Like a fine wine I got far better with age. In a land filled with with 5'6" Plus++ sized women I still stand out, and I achieved my life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman.
My wife's words however, still haunt me; "Who in their right mind wants to be a 56 y/o woman?" Or much older if/when I can make a decision to go full-time. BTW she is supportive and is a subject matter expert being 25+ years post-op.
Yeah... I understand what you mean. I've pretty much been mortified of aging ever since the age of 13 or so, when I realized that eventually getting older didn't mean just being taller than my mom anymore, it meant that my voice was going to change. And then aging meant every single year getting more and more masculine, every single year losing more and more hair, every single year getting more and more away from that ideal "cute" image of myself that I had in my head, and looking more like a big dumb guy.
Now, while that fear has diminished since starting transition, because, yes, it is MUCH happier thinking that I'm going to grow up into a woman, and I'm not going to lose any more hair, and I'm not going to keep growing more body hair everywhere, and that as I get older I'm going to become more and more feminine, I'm still afraid of aging. And the reason is, because I've always wanted to be a cute young girl. And now for the first time, I'm starting to be able to see her. And yet, because I'm 27 years old, I know that this is not going to last very long. Unfortunately, by the time I've been on hormones long enough for them to have fully feminized me, I'll be pushing 30... and, well, that tends to be the traditional border between cute girlhood and serious adulthood. And I'm still not ready to be an adult yet. Honestly, in my mind, I'm still a kid. And I'm not ready to grow up yet. I want to be a girl first before I become a woman, and, well, because of the age at which I started transition, that is going to be a VERY narrow window where I'll be able to. So yeah, I am still afraid of aging. There's so much I still want to experience while I'm young. I do want to feminize more, but I wish there was some way that I could just stay 27 while it's happening rather than having to wait until I'm 29 or 30 for it to be over. 30 just feels like such a looming milestone that I'm terrified to have to cross.
I'm only 29ish, so I'm not too worried about it anymore.
Quote from: Carrie Liz on May 12, 2013, 12:21:20 PM
Unfortunately, by the time I've been on hormones long enough for them to have fully feminized me, I'll be pushing 30... and, well, that tends to be the traditional border between cute girlhood and serious adulthood. And I'm still not ready to be an adult yet. Honestly, in my mind, I'm still a kid. And I'm not ready to grow up yet. I want to be a girl first before I become a woman...
Well 30 is really not that old but to be honest 27 is not a kid. I actually like being an adult better then a kid. I could care less about age personally I'm only concerned about how OLD I LOOK.
Quote from: Renee on May 12, 2013, 12:32:15 PM
I'm only 29ish, so I'm not too worried about it anymore.
29ish is the bestest number ever!
Hmm, just the opposite for me.
Prior to transition I lived in such denial that the years just kind of rolled on by without much thought. I lived in a constant malaise that made nothing seem to matter.
Now that I have transitioned I pretty much curse each birthday since it's one year less I get to live as my true self. It hits much harder for late transitioners imo.
Quote from: Lorri Kat on May 11, 2013, 10:31:25 PM
{)0(} Hideyoshi you and Hello Kitty ROCK!!! {)0(}
Thanks khy!! .. I have to hold things farther away to see them now...LOL
:3
Quote from: Sadie on May 12, 2013, 12:56:27 PM
Hmm, just the opposite for me.
Prior to transition I lived in such denial that the years just kind of rolled on by without much thought. I lived in a constant malaise that made nothing seem to matter.
Now that I have transitioned I pretty much curse each birthday since it's one year less I get to live as my true self. It hits much harder for late transitioners imo.
I haven't transitioned yet, but I'm acutely aware of not having forever. People can't understand why I won't just wait a couple years until my kids are out of high school.
Quote from: suzifrommd on May 12, 2013, 04:24:45 PM
I haven't transitioned yet, but I'm acutely aware of not having forever. People can't understand why I won't just wait a couple years until my kids are out of high school.
Here's hoping it doesn't matter to you if they understand. If we know one thing, it's we'll all grow old waiting for the world to figure us out!
Yes somewhat I knew that as I got older the likelihood I would be afflicted with male pattern hairloss would increase in addition to a progressive worsening in masculine attributes... Although I've always thought gray hair is cool, and I privately liked the fact that I started getting them at 17.
It wasn't just that however it was the feeling that life was passing me by, and If I'd died tomorrow I would have had regrets, Private regrets about not transitioning, Not having the career I wanted, Not having the chance to contribute. Not having the chance to be a person I was proud of...
however I've managed to do pretty well since then despite adversity. and yes it's true I don't mind getting older as such anymore. As in physical number because I'm pretty pleased with what I've achieved in that time more gray hair's are always welcome. As long as they don't mind begin occasionally turned pink/blue/misc colours.
Well I don't like my wrinkles I don't have many but I still notice them. And people usually tell me I look younger than my age which is good.