I have decided to pass on my letter to my mother tomorrow (monday). I hate to do it the day after Mother's day but I feel the time is now. I'm nervous as hell about it though. Tomorrow is her last day off before she goes back to work Tuesday.. I feel that if it's her day off it might go over more smoothly? Instead of a work day where she spends half the day at work and then comes home and feels too tired to want to truly discuss things. It might give her a chance to think it out tomorrow... and then she can come to me later about it.
I still fear a face to face confrontation, and I'm feeling the anxiety rise just thinking about it. I don't know what to expect, I know some of you suspect she may already know, or at least expects something is about to happen, but I'm still worried lol.
I'm going to take it like it is though, and if I have to pack up and leave... well then that's what I will do. I won't force it down her throat, though I will try to talk it out with her first. I won't just throw my arms up in the air and then walk out the door, I'll try to resolve it, best I can, and then if push comes to shove.... I will figure something out. I always do.
I'll bet it goes fine. All the little steps add up and get you where you're going. Best wishes, hugs, Devlyn
Good luck!
*hugs*
:)
Hey Jerred,
I am wishing you the best of luck. I really hope it goes well for you. Please keep us posted. My situation is similar to yours and I am going to be coming out to my mom soon, so I would love to hear your success story for some tips. And yes, it will be a success story. Stay positive :)
Well now I was just informed that my sister is taking my mom out to lunch tomorrow as a mother's day thing so... -facedesk-
Well, lunch doesn't last 24 hours does it? If so, that's quite a feast. Seriously, I think you will be able to do it sometime that day. Just stay positive and keep confident. Remember, you can and need to do this! I am really happy and excited for you. This is a big step and it's awesome that you have such determination. And if you feel scared and need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to contact me.
Wishing you the very best. Hugs
Good luck Jarred
Ya I think I'll just give it to her shortly after she gets home tomorrow
Having Plan B at the ready is never a bad idea!
I hope everthing goes well for you.
You go, boy. Right on.
Now I'm just getting more and more nervous about everything. Uhg, tomorrow is going to be a long day
Good luck-keep us posted!
-facedesk- two of my friends suggest waiting a couple more days since it's the day after mother's day... I don't know what to dooooo -sits in a corner-
Just do it!
There is never a good or bad time, there is just time!
Go ahead and do it! It's unlikely that if you wait there'll be a 'good time' to do it, something always gets in the way.
Good luck. :)
Thanks guys for the support, seriously. It means a lot to me. I'm nervous as hell and my mother's about to go off for lunch with my sister. I don't know what to expect but hopefully it won't end horribly.
It'll be okay. You know this is what you want to do. So,if it isn't today, it will have to come down to another day. You seem to be in the right mindset and have the proper determination. You can do this. Just keep up a confident and positive composure. I'm certain you will do well.
Quote from: learningtolive on May 13, 2013, 11:34:50 AM
It'll be okay. You know this is what you want to do. So,if it isn't today, it will have to come down to another day. You seem to be in the right mindset and have the proper determination. You can do this. Just keep up a confident and positive composure. I'm certain you will do well.
Yes well.... just to be safe I'm packing my duffel bag just in case I have to bug out real fast like
Well, it never hurts to prepare. Still, I think it will be okay. Your mom seems to know something is going on. And it is clear that she loves you for all that you have wrote. Just be confident and positive because that may effect how she responds. If she sees your conviction, I think she will be able to accept it a little more easy.
Nonetheless, whatever happens, you are taking a big step and doing what's right for you. There can be no failure from coming out. You succeed by following your dreams and desires. If that means others don't come along, that isn't your failure. You are doing what is right for you and that is a major win.
Quote from: learningtolive on May 13, 2013, 11:49:46 AM
Well, it never hurts to prepare. Still, I think it will be okay. Your mom seems to know something is going on. And it is clear that she loves you for all that you have wrote. Just be confident and positive because that may effect how she responds. If she sees your conviction, I think she will be able to accept it a little more easy.
Nonetheless, whatever happens, you are taking a big step and doing what's right for you. There can be no failure from coming out. You succeed by following your dreams and desires. If that means others don't come along, that isn't your failure. You are doing what is right for you and that is a major win.
Thanks, it's good to hear this sort of thing.
Soooo surfing facebook and a friend had posted a quote on her wall that could not have shown up at a better time.
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -- Steve Jobs
Sort of made me feel a bit more peace inside when I read that
As a linux fan girl here, I will set aside my feelings on apple and concur with Mr. Jobs sentiment.
You're doing what you have to do. Don't worry about anything else. "Everything else is secondary", and you will find a solution to those problems as they come along. Just follow what will make you happy in life. You can do it!!! I have faith in you!!!!
Quote from: learningtolive on May 13, 2013, 12:30:10 PM
As a linux fan girl here, I will set aside my feelings on apple and concur with Mr. Jobs sentiment.
Oh normally I hate Apple lol. I'm more of a PC kind of guy. But I can't say Jobs didn't have a point with what he said so I'll just take it like that
Well... crap. There went my bug out plan and I'd have no where to go should the worst happen. Toss that out for a while
Jerred,
I hope you are okay. I know what fear is like and I've let it control me till this day. Don't do the same thing to yourself. Planning things out is a good idea, but make sure you are holding things back because you feel it would be better and not because you are nervous or scared. It is ironic for me to say all that, but you can't let fear stop you from progressing and being happy.
However, if you really are ready and you want to wait for backup reasons, that is okay. Do what you feel is right. But don't avoid your own happiness because of nerves.
Just let me ask you one question, do you think your mom would kick her only son out? Would she really leave you out in the cold with no where to go? I can't answer that for you, only you can guess. Let that guide your decision.
Hoping all the best for you :)
Quote from: learningtolive on May 13, 2013, 03:06:06 PM
Jerred,
I hope you are okay. I know what fear is like and I've let it control me till this day. Don't do the same thing to yourself. Planning things out is a good idea, but make sure you are holding things back because you feel it would be better and not because you are nervous or scared. It is ironic for me to say all that, but you can't let fear stop you from progressing and being happy.
However, if you really are ready and you want to wait for backup reasons, that is okay. Do what you feel is right. But don't avoid your own happiness because of nerves.
Just let me ask you one question, do you think your mom would kick her only son out? Would she really leave you out in the cold with no where to go? I can't answer that for you, only you can guess. Let that guide your decision.
Hoping all the best for you :)
I really don't know... I wish I did, it would be easier to just out and say something to her about it. She's "threatened" to kick me out for less before, though I think she said that stuff out of frustration on her end and she doesn't... cope with her own feelings very well.
So I don't know at the end of the day. I don't want to suddenly wander around with no where to go should the worse happen. I'd have like... no where. No one can afford to take me in right this moment.
People do say things in anger that they really don't mean. It's likely she really doesn't intend to kick you out when she says that.
It's a tough situation and I really don't have a definitive answer. I would feel horrible for you to make a poor decision based on something you said. So, I can only suggest you follow your heart see what you feel is best. Keep in mind, it is possible that you might not have anywhere to move for a while. Do you want to hold up your transition that much longer? Could you wait longer? Is it worth risking at this moment. This is something you can only answer yourself. Whatever you decide, I wish you lots of luck.
By the way, you have a sister, correct? Have you thought about telling her? In the event that your mom wasn't favorable, your sister may very well be a great member of your support structure. She could possibly take you in. How do you think she would react?
I don't know how my sister will take it to be honest and she lives low income with my niece so I can't really burden her either. I have yet to find a job so
I understand what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. It's tough not having a place of your own and the ability to pay for rent. You could wait until you have some financial independence, but you have to ask yourself if you can wait that long. If so, then it isn't a bad idea to save up and get your own place. However, if you feel a burning need to come out (like a huge amount of depression), then you might want to consider coming out sooner than latter. Doesn't have to be today, but remember there will always be roadblocks and things to prevent you from moving forward.
Keep in mind, you don't have to wait for your mother's approval before you start hrt, see a gender specialist or go to a group meeting. Coming out doesn't need to be the beginning of your transition. It hasn't been for me. You can start secretly in the beginning and make some major progress. Yet, once you start hormones and trying to pass, you are on a timeline.
So, don't sweat it that today didn't work. You have many other options available to you and will be able to do this successfully when you feel ready.