My name is Caitlin, and my husband, Noir, is trans and considering undergoing SRS. We've been together for almost 10 years, married for 4, and I've more or less known since the beginning of our relationship that she gender identifies as female.
It has only been fairly recently that we've begun to discuss SRS. I am ecstatic, as I have seen my honey go through a lot of questioning, anger, and depression in regards to her identity, and I absolutely feel this is the best thing for her and our family. Really, I am her biggest cheerleader! Just in the time between when we began to discuss the possibility of SRS and now, the change in her moods has been dramatic. Noir has suddenly gone from being withdrawn, reflexively defensive and hostile, and complaining daily to me of a deep depression and sadness that could not be shaken or explained, to being calm, peaceful, and even--dare I say--happy. We have two beautiful daughters, ages 2 and 4 respectively, and I want them to grow up knowing their daddy as she was meant to be, happy and at peace with herself.
We have already talked about the transition with our closest friends group, whom we knew we could trust, and we of course have their full support. We worry that extended family may be an issue, as will the fact that we run our own business, and she is the public face.
But that's where we're at! As for myself, I really feel a need to TALK about everything, because I'm so excited, and because I have so much to learn, and because that's how I process information. I know Noir likes to process things internally, and I really don't want to pester her; I want her to come to me when she's ready to talk or to take the next step, as she of course has the lead in this journey. So, I've been joining groups and forums in order to connect with other folks in similar situations, to support my husband in any way I can, and learn as much as possible to make this transition as happy and as smooth as possible for all of us! I look forward to reading your posts and your responses, and I hope to gain great insight from you all! :)
Thanks so much!
Caitlin
Hi Caitlin, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11224. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Janet )O(
From sunny southern California, a warm welcome to you, Caitin. I am a transgendered person, I have a family, and a spouse. These issues can become complicated; however, you and Noir have kept open lines of communication. It is a model that any couples in our position, could follow.
I'd like you to be aware of our "Significant Others" board, which is set aside for the loved ones of the transgendered person, to discuss those issues that affect you.
Thank you for finding us.