I spoke to my dad today about my transition and stuff and confided in him my fears about telling my brother and how I'd go about this. My dad kindly offered to tell my brother which I appreciated. I think this is the best way to go about it because if he gets angry or upset my dad will be there to comfort him and calm him down before he speaks to me about it. Does this sound like a good way to go about it?
Hey Joey,
If you feel that you this is the best way to do it, then you should proceed. I don't know what kind of a relationship you have with your brother, but I would imagine he would appreciate hearing it from you directly. Most siblings would like that you feel close and comfortable enough to directly share this with them. Still, I don't know how close you are or if he tends to get angry easily. So, your way might be the best for your particular situation.
Do you think there would be a problem telling him face to face?
Quote from: kyh on May 16, 2013, 06:42:49 PM
Maybe also write a personal letter to your brother, and have your dad give that to him? :) Good luck!
That's not a bad idea actually. Thanks.
Quote from: learningtolive on May 16, 2013, 07:03:52 PM
Hey Joey,
If you feel that you this is the best way to do it, then you should proceed. I don't know what kind of a relationship you have with your brother, but I would imagine he would appreciate hearing it from you directly. Most siblings would like that you feel close and comfortable enough to directly share this with them. Still, I don't know how close you are or if he tends to get angry easily. So, your way might be the best for your particular situation.
Do you think there would be a problem telling him face to face?
I see what you're saying :/ There would be a problem with me telling him face to face. If he got angry or upset I wouldn't know what to do. He's not angry normally, but something like this would throw him I think. But then again he could be fine. I can't talk to people face to face properly. The words can't come out and it feels like the whole world is going to swallow me in.
I'm sure your brother loves you and wouldn't react all that bad. I think writing the personal letter would be a better option than having your father tell him. That way it is coming from you directly, but you won't have to worry about freezing up.
I'm hoping it all goes well.
I think getting your Dad to break the news is a good idea, particularly since you seem relieved that he's made the offer.
Why not ask you Dad to tell your brother that you're more than happy to discuss this with him & answer his questions, once he's digested the news?
Also, is there any way you can give your Dad some generic info to hand to your brother, to help him understand what it means to have a family member who is trans? I think I posted the link a while back, but this document has been very helpful to me: http://artfulcheese.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/tg-information-booklet-v2-45.pdf (http://artfulcheese.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/tg-information-booklet-v2-45.pdf)
Good luck - I hope it goes well. :)
That sounds like a good way to break the news, especially if you are close.
My brother and I are close and he's accepted it ok. He even jokes with me about stuff - which is nice as it can feel very lonley at times.
Writing a letter maybe a good idea too :)
I think my dad telling him and giving him a letter is the best way to go. He knows I've been depressed and seeing a doctor, so he might even be relieved. I'll tell my dad to tell my brother not to shy away from asking questions. Cheers for the link FTMdiares, it looks really helpful.
Thanks everyone
I think thats' a good plan Joey :)
Best of luck!