Well...Erhm...Not too sure how to go about this, but...
Hello everyone. It's taken me a while to try and join this site: I use this site as a major resource, and like to look around to keep mysielf up to date with a few things. But, I've been kinda scared of ACTUALLY joining. I'm kinda terrified of people...hopefully this will help me out a bit...
I'm not really sure about myself, really. I feel like I'm in the wrong body, but it seems that I keep doubting myself to the point where I don't even know anymore :-\ For now, let's say my name is Seth. I am physically female, but I constantly feel that I am supposed to be/should be male. I was born in California, but I currently live in Maryland. And, if all goes wrong, I will be moving to Switzerland soon.
Keeping my age disclosed because ERGH that will probably alter my chances of making friends here...
Anyway, time for my boring life story...Summed up...
I've never been feminine. I'm the kid people always called to catch things like mice, roaches, snakes, centipedes, etc. When I played games with some of my female friends, I always ended up playing the husband, boyfriend, brother, or male teacher. Which felt right. To be honest, bach then, I didn't feel that something was wrong. Maybe because as a child, I knew the differences between gender, but never stopped to actially think about it, or actually care.
To be honest, I didn't actually start questioning anything until...I'd say 2011. But even then, it wasn't much. It was the occasional discomfort, followed by denying that anything had happened. Last year, it of course, got even worse.To the point where I deaded every day, and just wished that I could...like...physically alter myself 9in any way possible. Magic, prayer, surgery...anything. But of course, I was born in a family where women must act like women, and men must act like men. And if anything went out of balance, it was witchcraft/satanic, and that they needed to be baptized immediately. So each second of questioning brought about hours of dread and panic, as I feared that I was posessed, or some crap like that.
Well, currently, after a year of tragedy, I haven't stopped questioning myself, but I'm still not sure. I'm hoping that soon enough, I will either come to accept myself as male, or if something will prove that I'm born the way I'm supposed to be. Or something.
I'm really interested in transition. Binding m chest (which is nearly impossible), and being adressed as male (even by accident) has left me giddy, although my family has often made snide comments about me becoming a lesbian...
So...erhm..yeah. Not sure if that makes any sense. But, I'll just...you know...be here. I'm hoping that some day, I will meet a MTF transsexual around my age, and around my state of transition. Maybe we'd be able to help each other out. Or something.
*scuttles away to the corner*
Hi VenomGaia, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11365. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Janet )O(
I know how you feel. Growing up, I went to a YMCA camp. The girls always played house or something like that and the boys always played army. I always wanted to play with the boys. They would always make me be the nurse or the cook or something and I would get so angry that they wouldn't let me be a soldier. I didn't want to do what I thought of as "girly" jobs. I wanted to be in the trenches with the boys. Finally I got them to let me, and I loved it.
I met an FTM a few years younger than my self. We married over 13 years ago and each had surgery. For us, it was right.
Good luck in finding your way.
Robyn
Thank you all for the welcome, lol. Robyn, you have a sweet story. Glad everything worked out for you two.
And, Darkie, I remember the days like that ;P I used to be the archer, and all the others kept getting upset that I could shoot better than them.
Welcome,
And no reason to be shy or nervous here, we all know what gender issues are like, most of us have them to some degree.
I'm in Adelaide Australia and I'm fortunate enough to know several trans* people who are transitioning in all sorts of directions. I'm probably true in saying my trans* friends are the only normal people I know!
But Australia seems a pretty tolerant place.
But welcome and don't hide in the corners or anywhere. You are safe here and we are your family, and we have no problems at all with our family members being as diverse as they can be!
Hugs
Cindy
Thanks so much, Cindy!
I'm already liking the community here. Everyone here is pretty open and accepting. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I have a few friends from australia. Really nice place, if I do say so myself ;)
Welcome to Susan's, VenomGaia.
Feel free to ask any questions that you may have.
:)
Venom - we're nice people! From all over the world!
I'm in southern California. Cindy's from Australia. Robyn, well no one is sure when she is at any moment, because she sails! :o
Gennee's in New York. We have Marylanders, and Swiss, and Kiwis, and Asians, and South American, and Africans. Ftm. MtF. Androgyne. Neutois. Non-binary. Allies. And we are all friendly and welcoming.
So don't be shy. :) :D ;D