I've gotten sirred a bit lately but only by women. I would say that mostly I am either not called either which I actually like or being ma'amed. So anybody notice this, or is this just me?
OTOH, I've gotten the guy nod, some of this even pre-T.
--Jay
yeah, the few times I've passed for sure 100% have been with women :/ Mostly I don't pass or the person doesn't use gendered words same as you. Also haven't passed since I changed my hair length. Letting it grow back out a little so that I pass more.
never gotten the guy nod though, I guess looking like a 12 year old is probably why
not by any special gender. But from diffrent groups I notice I pass more or less..
I think I pass better in Europa than I do in Asian,
I also feel I pass less around homeless than people who arn't.
Before I passed consistently, I noticed the opposite. I almost always passed with men, but hardly ever with women. I did pass ok with older women (like in their 70s and 80s but that's about it).
Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on May 29, 2013, 01:57:52 PM
Before I passed consistently, I noticed the opposite. I almost always passed with men, but hardly ever with women. I did pass ok with older women (like in their 70s and 80s but that's about it).
I also usually get sirred by men. Whenever it happens with women, they change their mind immediately after saying it and apologize profusely, which is amusing.
Men are more obvious to me in their gendering, they'll call me "mate", "pal", "lad", "man" etc whereas women tend to say "hun", "sweet" or "dear" if they say anything like that, and it would be reasonable for them to say it to a boy of my apparent age, especially older people who seem to think everyone's younger than they actually are anyway. And I know I look that young because I'm still being sold under 15's tickets for the train without asking for one (not that I'm complaining).
I think men are more inclined to take a "meh, whatever" approach to misgendering someone, but women would be horrified at the thought of being misgendered themselves, so make a big fuss out of it if they do it to you, thinking that they'll make you feel better.
Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on May 29, 2013, 01:57:52 PMI did pass ok with older women (like in their 70s and 80s but that's about it).
Not to be a stick in the mud but you usually can't trust old women when it comes to passing, as they seem to just glance over people and situations and pass judgement on that alone, rather than actually taking in the details of a person. For that reason, I think most even semi-butch lesbians would pass as "young man" to them.
I say this because when I was working at a Chinese carry-out a few years ago, old women
constantly asked if my parents owned the restaurant, or to tell my parents that they're very good cooks. Apparently having naturally black eyes and hair and working in a Chinese restaurant (where plenty of blonde American kids work) passes me for Chinese in old women's eyes. >.>
I feel like women look more at other people and pass more judgement, so it would be harder to pass in front of them...but at the same time, they probably just do that more towards other women than random guys on the street. :/ I've yet to find out who it's easier to fool around here, as far as men and women go. I guess I'll just have to wait 'til I look a little more masculine to find out.
Quote from: D0LL on May 31, 2013, 09:57:00 AM
Not to be a stick in the mud but you usually can't trust old women when it comes to passing, as they seem to just glance over people and situations and pass judgement on that alone, rather than actually taking in the details of a person. For that reason, I think most even semi-butch lesbians would pass as "young man" to them.
It doesn't really matter now because no one sees me as anything other than male anymore. Was just sharing my observations in regards to passing.
Quote from: chipper on May 30, 2013, 05:11:27 PM
Story of my life. I'm most often sirred by men (or maybe I'm just more inclined to notice). Women are often confused and apologetic; they also misgender me more frequently than men.
Quote from: AlexanderC on May 30, 2013, 05:42:57 PM
I think men are more inclined to take a "meh, whatever" approach to misgendering someone, but women would be horrified at the thought of being misgendered themselves, so make a big fuss out of it if they do it to you, thinking that they'll make you feel better.
All of this makes complete sense now!
Quote from: D0LL on May 31, 2013, 09:57:00 AM
Not to be a stick in the mud but you usually can't trust old women when it comes to passing, as they seem to just glance over people and situations and pass judgement on that alone, rather than actually taking in the details of a person. For that reason, I think most even semi-butch lesbians would pass as "young man" to them.
I say this because when I was working at a Chinese carry-out a few years ago, old women constantly asked if my parents
I feel like women look more at other people and pass more judgement, so it would be harder to pass in front of them...but at the same time, they probably just do that more towards other women than random guys on the street. :/ I've yet to find out who it's easier to fool around here, as far as men and women go. I guess I'll just have to wait 'til I look a little more masculine to find out.
I am misgendered by men quite a lot. I don't know if it is "judgement" either way. You know that gendering is somewhat subconscious. I think people do this in a matter of seconds. It's probably why some transguys with beards (and cisguys as well) sometimes get misgendered. So I don't think males don't care, but it goes beyond "caring" and more into reading nonverbal cues, something women are probably better at. So funny thing I am getting gendered correctly more by women. Perhaps men just aren't using the word "sir". Possibly the case, I live in the southwest which has some more casual tendencies.
--Jay
I started passing at first with old women as well - as in "Excuse me, young man"
Quote from: D0LL on May 31, 2013, 09:57:00 AM
Not to be a stick in the mud but you usually can't trust old women when it comes to passing, as they seem to just glance over people and situations and pass judgement on that alone, rather than actually taking in the details of a person. For that reason, I think most even semi-butch lesbians would pass as "young man" to them.
I agree. Older individuals in general can also have no concept of gender ambiguity, so they see some indicators and run with it.
I usually get gendered correctly by little old ladies and children. Usually I get ma'amed or no pronouns are used by people my age and up, and even much older cis men. Sometimes even people that I've just met struggle to get pronouns right despite me looking androgynous leaning masculine, wear male clothes and am way too masculine for hanging out with all the women even butch lesbians I've met. I guess it's the lack of facial hair and voice.
I always pass with men. Sometimes women ma'am or mija me but that's starting to get less frequent.