Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: smile_jma on May 30, 2013, 05:35:00 AM

Title: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: smile_jma on May 30, 2013, 05:35:00 AM
Gosh. A male coworker I believe is REALLY cute. He's nice, well-mannered, doesn't dress horribly... but he only knows/sees me as a guy. He's not bi/gay so that makes it difficult, too. I've only started HRT in Feb, so I don't even pass at all. What's worse is that he's quitting tomorrow (last day is tomorrow) and I can't tell him what I think.  So disappointing. :(  Well, I could, but then I don't want there to be uncomfortableness around the office, because he'd probably tell some of the other coworkers. I guess have to learn to let him go, but he's my first crush in like, 5 years.    Maybe we'll cross paths in a couple years, once I get this awful DEEP voice under control.

Anyone experience similar?
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Cindy on May 30, 2013, 05:47:37 AM
Heee Heee

Comes with the HT for some of us!

I think it's called puberty!
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Jane's Sweet Refrain on May 30, 2013, 07:32:48 AM
Hi, I'm tragically crushing on a very good friend right at this moment. He's unavailable in every possible way. I'm far along in transition (9 months hrt) and mainly presenting as my authentic self. Cindy's spot on. It has all the trappings of a 15-year old's crush. Kind of embarrassing in your 40's. Oh, and before 7 1/2 months into hrt, I had never been attracted to a man.

It's so neat having a crush, except that it hurts like living hell.
Jane
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Tristan on May 30, 2013, 08:21:26 AM
Yes. Hunter Hill in seventh grade. he was so nice to me. if only he knew. haha
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Theo on May 30, 2013, 01:10:06 PM
Quote from: smile_jma on May 30, 2013, 05:35:00 AM
What's worse is that he's quitting tomorrow (last day is tomorrow) and I can't tell him what I think.  So disappointing. :( 

Just a thought, but why would him quitting preclude you from keeping in touch, even without telling him anything? Stuff like facebook can be really useful for that. I'm still in contact with many an ex-colleague, in some cases closer now than while they were still in the same office. Maybe simply tell him that you'd like to keep in touch, and either spam a friend request or go the old fashioned route of getting his email address. :)
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Jamie D on May 30, 2013, 01:54:51 PM
Quote from: Theo on May 30, 2013, 01:10:06 PM
Just a thought, but why would him quitting preclude you from keeping in touch, even without telling him anything? Stuff like facebook can be really useful for that. I'm still in contact with many an ex-colleague, in some cases closer now than while they were still in the same office. Maybe simply tell him that you'd like to keep in touch, and either spam a friend request or go the old fashioned route of getting his email address. :)

LOL, the "old fashioned route" was asking for his home telephone number!
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Renee on May 30, 2013, 02:24:50 PM
Quote from: Jamie D on May 30, 2013, 01:54:51 PM
LOL, the "old fashioned route" was asking for his home telephone number!
No, the real old fashioned route is to hint at him that its ok for him to come calling one afternoon so y'all can get to know each other on the front porch swing over some nice iced sweet tea, maybe even with some mint in it. yep...
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Teela Renee on May 30, 2013, 02:30:02 PM
Im crushing on my roomie  :-\   she is epic in everyway.

But if you really want to try and pursue him, Get his FB or email and keep in touch with him that way untill your ready to make a move on him,
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Ltl89 on May 30, 2013, 04:56:49 PM
Eh, it's quite easy for me to get a crush.  So, yeah I have lots of experiences with crushes,lol.

If you really like this guy, don't just let him go.  You don't have to ask him out, but you could keep in touch through social media or email.  Maintain a friendship going with him.  Hell, you can even make a move if you want to and feel confident in do so.  Sure, he might say something, but he won't be around the office to make things awkward.  And who cares what your coworkers think.  Besides, they are eventually going to find out about your gender, so it's not like you liking guys is that big of a shocker.

Good luck with it all :)
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: kariann330 on May 30, 2013, 08:40:57 PM
A crush....idk if i would call it that...but i recently found myself searching an ex on Facebook and as soon as i saw her picture i suddenly got that tight chest and sweaty palm thing that some people describe....too bad she won't talk to me anymore tho.
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: MaidofOrleans on May 30, 2013, 09:58:14 PM
I just came out to my co-worker crush today.

As a trans woman, not as having a crush....that still remains a secret  ;)

He's soooooo cute and funny. He's also a surfer with a perfect body and brain to boot. He was super cool about it and kept asking me all these questions about what I have to go through and such.

Arg I hate this!
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: Misato on May 30, 2013, 10:32:29 PM
There was a guy I had a crush on.  So dang cute!  I think he was some where on the autism spectrum, just something about his speech and mannerisms.  I don't know for sure, but it made him sooooooo endearing!

Before transition I could admit that some guys were attractive.  Now I can enjoy a crush, when one comes along, for what it is.  No harm in that!
Title: Re: Anyone had a crush during transition?
Post by: smile_jma on May 31, 2013, 04:16:07 AM
Oh, I have his number don't worry. I don't think he has FB. But the thing that sucks is that he knows me as a boy and he doesn't go that way. He's pretty straight. So if I were to keep in touch, I'd have to act like 2 different people kind of at the same time, once I'm ready. 1 as the old me, finding out how he is, if he's single, etc. Then again, somehow..seeing him as the new me without letting him know. I mean...it'd come out sooner or later if I met him again since its not very nice to keep that part hidden about you if you're dating.  I can keep in touch. I can go drive over to see him in another city, but still. I don't get to see him every day anymore.  It's hard to find good guys nowadays.



"Who cares what coworkers think?"  I'm self conscious like that. And there's only 13 people in the whole company. Including the owner/boss. Pretty small. I know they'll find out eventually...already told 1 of the women who quit, but might be coming back...  However, at the moment, it's not something I think they need to talk about amongst themselves.   I mean, when I first got the job, some of their questions were" do I like guys or girls?"