Hello everyone,
My name is Mary. I am 31 years old and live in the Czech Republic.
Like many of you, I'm sure, I have known who I really was for almost as long as I can remember, but have only recently worked up the courage to do anything to address it.
Anyway, here is my story...
I was born and raised in Canada to an unorthodox family. My parents, being children of the 60s, raised me in a gender neutral household where I was free to play dress up and be the wife when I played house with my sister. All and all, it was a pretty happy and supportive atmosphere. It wasn't really until I started school that my real gender identity was brought into conflict with societal norms for what someone with a boy's body should and should not do.
The time I spent in school was confusing. I tried hard to fit in with other "boys" as best I could, but I have always been small and sensitive and feminine. Generally speaking I had no interest whatsoever in boy things and as a result I had very few male friends... I always related better to the girls in my classes. Anyway, during this time I started regularly dressing up in my sister's clothes while others in the house were sleeping or putting on my mother's make up when I thought I could get away with it. I secretly had crushes on boys, but always had a girlfriend. It was hard and I was fairly depressed all the time.
When I was 18 I made my first decision to come out. Both my sister and my mother had recently come out as lesbians and this gave me the push I needed. Strangely enough, one of my mother's siblings beat me to it and announced to everyone in the family that she was MtF. This caused a big argument between her and my mother, which I didn't expect. Her reaction was enough to convince me that there was no way I could come out.
So this is where things stood for years. I lived two lives: a private one where I was happy and confident but incomplete; and a public one where I was fairly successful, but scared, paranoid I would get caught and racked with horrible feelings of guilt and disconnect.
I can't really tell you what changed. I guess it is likely the result of getting sick a year ago. Or maybe it's the realization that I will definitely not change into a normal man and the longer I take to address the issue the worse it will be for me and my family. I don't know. In any respect, I finally made an appointment with a sexologist here and hopefully I will start HRT sometime soon. It is daunting. Not only because of the obvious, but also because I live abroad on a permanent basis and will need to negotiate my transition in my second language in a system which I really don't fully understand.
Well that is my story. I am really happy to have found this forum and look forward to knowing all of you. If there are any transgirls here from the Czech Republic, it would be great to talk to you.
Mary
Hey Mary, welcome to the board and Dobrý den! :).
Greetings from Eastern Europe :)
Quote from: Sammy on June 04, 2013, 05:55:58 AM
Hey Mary, welcome to the board and Dobrý den! :).
Greetings from Eastern Europe :)
And greetings from Western Europe.
A warm southern California welcome to you Mary. You sound like you had the sort of childhood than many of us would have liked. For me, it is difficult to shed the effects of male socialization.
We do have other Czech members here.
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Hi Mary, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11495 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Hello everyone,
Thanks for the warm welcome.
Ahoj Sammy! Odkud jste? Are you here in the CZ? Have you had any experience with the doctors here? I have no idea what to expect from my first appointment and am really nervous! Wednesday I will see my normal psychiatrist here in Plzen and on Friday I will see the sexologist. Unfortunately, I will need to go to the faculty hospital in Prague and I have never heard anything about them – are the TS friendly or not, what questions will they ask ect... Any advice would be great
Mary
Mary,
Hello from South Korea.
I have never been to Czech, but I am eager to drink Czech draft beer. Some brands of Czech bottle beer are available here, but I want original Czech beer.
I will visit Bled, Slovenia, in July, but may not have any extra day to visit Czech.
Keep in touch,
barbie~~
Hi Mary, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm near Boston. You'll find all sorts of information and friends here. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: barbie on June 07, 2013, 05:03:37 PM
Mary,
Hello from South Korea.
I have never been to Czech, but I am eager to drink Czech draft beer. Some brands of Czech bottle beer are available here, but I want original Czech beer.
I will visit Bled, Slovenia, in July, but may not have any extra day to visit Czech.
Keep in touch,
barbie~~
Barbie, are you sure you're old enough to drink? ;)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on June 07, 2013, 05:27:39 PM
Barbie, are you sure you're old enough to drink? ;)
Hugs, Devlyn
Devlyn,
Thanks for compliment. Actually cashiers used to request my ID when I was at 30s. Now nobody does it :-\
barbie~~
Hi Mary :)
No, unfortunately I am not from Czech, but I am not very far away either - I am from Latvia :). I dont know about the system in CZ, but here seeing psychiatrist was not of much help - but maybe in Your case it would be different. My advice would be - after You tell them their story - to ask directly what they can and what they cannot do - hormone prescriptions, referrals etc. Otherwise, You might just spent extra time running circles with no practical effect. For example, many psychiatrists/psychologists will happily work with You, because a) that is extra money and given specificities of gender dysphoria - that is extra money for quite looooong time, and b) they might have no practical experience but will be very eager just to try things up for professional interest. And You will need endocrinologist too!
Hi Sammy,
Too bad you're not here, but Latvia is also a nice place to be from! I had a friend who lived there for years and absolutely loved it.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your advice about the appointments and questions, etc. It was very helpful.
Take care and have a nice weekend,
Mary
Hi Mary. I live in Czech, but I don't have any experience with specialists. I haven't visited sexuologist so far...but want to do so in some time. So I am not sure if I can help you this way. But if you need any other help I will try to do my best. :).
Hi Sarah,
Nice to hear from another transzena :D. No matter that you havent been to the sexuolog yet. It is just nice to know I am not alone here! Are you from Plzen by any chance? I suppose I couldn't be that lucky :(. If I am further ahead than you on the doctor front and you have any questions ill be happy to help you too.
M
Quote from: Mary81 on June 19, 2013, 01:14:01 PM
Hi Sarah,
Nice to hear from another transzena :D. No matter that you havent been to the sexuolog yet. It is just nice to know I am not alone here! Are you from Plzen by any chance? I suppose I couldn't be that lucky :-) :(. If I am further ahead than you on the doctor front and you have any questions ill be happy to help you too.
M
I am from Prague...not so far :-). Btw one of the best TS specialists in Czech is probably Hana Fifkova as I have researched so far from other people reviews. Maybe you should try her in case you will be dissatisfied with other docs. But I hope all wil be okay. I am awaiting the news from you :-).
You both might want to talk to "Medusa," who posts occasionally on these boards. She states she is in Prague.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=15288 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=15288)
When you get to 15 posts, you can use the personal messaging utility on the site.
Hezký den! :)
BTW, I love Pilsner Urquell ;)
Quote from: Sarah84 on June 19, 2013, 03:30:14 PM
I am from Prague...not so far :-). Btw one of the best TS specialists in Czech is probably Hana Fifkova as I have researched so far from other people reviews. Maybe you should try her in case you will be dissatisfied with other docs. But I hope all wil be okay. I am awaiting the news from you :-).
You're right about that. Prague is pretty close. I imagine that there are a lot more resources there for the TS community too. I did try to make an appointment with Hana Fifkova actually, but the nurse who took my call said she didn't have any time. They put me into contact with the sexuologie ustav at the faculty hospital. I met with MUDr. Urbanek. He seems like a nice man, though, to be honest I dont really know if he is my doctor or if he was just the doctor that was there :) in any respect I am to meet Prof. Weiss in 5 weeks. I don't like how long of a wait that is, especially since I am not sure if the time between now and then counts for anything. But I guess there is nothing I can do about that.
So, how are things in Prague?
Quote from: Jamie D on June 19, 2013, 05:16:20 PM
You both might want to talk to "Medusa," who posts occasionally on these boards. She states she is in Prague.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=15288 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=15288)
When you get to 15 posts, you can use the personal messaging utility on the site.
Hezký den! :)
BTW, I love Pilsner Urquell ;)
Thanks for the info Jamie. I'm surprised that you can get pilsner urquell in the US. You're right, it is good, even if it is bad for my figure :D
Quote from: Mary81 on June 20, 2013, 11:18:13 AM
You're right about that. Prague is pretty close. I imagine that there are a lot more resources there for the TS community too. I did try to make an appointment with Hana Fifkova actually, but the nurse who took my call said she didn't have any time. They put me into contact with the sexuologie ustav at the faculty hospital. I met with MUDr. Urbanek. He seems like a nice man, though, to be honest I dont really know if he is my doctor or if he was just the doctor that was there :) in any respect I am to meet Prof. Weiss in 5 weeks. I don't like how long of a wait that is, especially since I am not sure if the time between now and then counts for anything. But I guess there is nothing I can do about that.
So, how are things in Prague?
Hi Mary.
I think all goes well. I finally negotiated an appointment term with dr. Fifkova in end of July. I don't know why they didn't received you. I have a little fear how the appointment will look like, I hope it will be ok. I need to sort and make clear what i really want and how to continue, I hope she can give me some clues.
And what about you, any news?
Quote from: Sarah84 on June 24, 2013, 03:44:04 AM
Hi Mary.
I think all goes well. I finally negotiated an appointment term with dr. Fifkova in end of July. I don't know why they didn't received you. I have a little fear how the appointment will look like, I hope it will be ok. I need to sort and make clear what i really want and how to continue, I hope she can give me some clues.
And what about you, any news?
Hi Sarah,
That's great about your appointment! Just be honest and open and I'm sure it will be fine. For me the hardest part was just saying it out loud the first time.
I think the main reason why I couldn't get an appointment was I supidly asked the nurse if she spoke english. I speak czech, but it is hard to do it on the phone. I don't think MUDr. Fifkova speaks English, so they passed me off to the faculty hospital.
No, I have no news yet. I did write an email to MUDr. Urbanek, but I haven't heard back from him. He is older, so I imagine that he doesn't check his emails :) I am thinking to call him later this week if he doesn't write back.
Aside from the medical stuff, I'm going shopping tomorrow in Prague. I'm going to get some makeup form the first time, and look for a wig to cover my horrible man hair while I'm growing in out.
M
Welcome mary from the central US. Unfortunately i know nothing about the czech system, but if i remember i may look around for some info on the internet in a bit. No promises, but i tend to have good luck most of the time.
I hope that this place is to your liking, they are really kind and supportive here, and it is always nice to be able to talk to people who understand what you are going through. And, of course, it is great to have you here.
OK, sorry for my necromancy, I definitely see that red box which says that this topic is older than 30 days, but still...
I am from Czech Republic too, though not a Czech myself, just have been living here for some time. I have a really bad day today, why of these than you want to cry, your head is spinning from all the thoughts... like I am 28 and why I still look like a guy and should I do something about it or not, or what am I in general, transgender, not transgender... or maybe gender fluid and have one of this swings and that is why I was on a shopping spree today and spent a lot on makeup and clothes.... especially on that absolutely gorgeous purple beanie... or maybe I am just a normal pervert ;D So, it is almost night in Prague, I am having a glass of absinthe and googling HRT, and this makes me even more sad, that is how I have found this forum, or even this particular topic.
Anyway, I guess I should say hi at least, therefore - Hi to you all! :) I don't have any particular female name to which I tend to cling, I guess because I mainly speak English (because my Czech really sucks) and pick English names to which I can't really attach because it is not my native language. My mother tongue I also don't use that much, but let's say I'll be Anja.
OK, enough babbling, I just wanted to say hi and I am in hope to connect to some people here in Prague and vicinity. And maybe to see you in person one day, I think it can help me to figure out there I, myself, am standing on this spectrum of self-identification. My last lady friend used to call me "my lady", because according to her I behave like a chick ;D But she is a tough one, according to her everyone she knows is a pussy. :)
A warm welcome from Philadelphia, PA USA (it is -4.0 C tonight).
A warm reply :), it is 0C this evening. Still hope to hear from people in CR. As I am new to this forum I can't do much, looks like my access is very limited...
Hello eerie,
Hello from Plzen, and welcome to susan's.
As you probably read in this thread, I am also not from the Czech Republic originally so I know how difficult it seems to even start the process of transitiioning. If it is any help, there are some doctors (including sexologists) who speak English in Prague.
I don't really make it into Prague very often except for doctor's appointments, which for some reason are mostly in the late evening. There are two girls that I know of here that are from Prague, but I am not sure how active they are on the forum. Hopefully you'll be able to connect with them.
Anyhow, feel free to PM me after you reach 15 posts.
Have a nice evening,
Mary
Hi Mary!
It is good to hear from someone who is at least in CR :)
Yeah, it looks hardly feasible, just tell me, what do you think is harder - applying for modra karta or for HRT? ;D
Usually I don't have any problems executing my plans, I am very determined and stubborn person. The problem is that I don't know what I want... I am not a pure transgender, I am kind of androgynous who seems to cling to his female part more and more. So, I am giving it a test drive, shifting my social behaviour to a neutral zone, picking up some female traits, trying to do something with my voice and many other things. It helps, I feel less irritated, I am more calm and can focus better because I don't have to force myself and pretend to be something that I am not. It is still a long way though, if I decide to start HRT and come out one day...
And I am not sure what to do with doctors. Does it makes sense to go to a sexologist before I feel like I am absolutely ready to start HRT and that is the way I want to go? What is your experience? Are they more into binary model, like if you don't want to get rid of your cock then no hormones for you or do they see the whole spectrum? I don't want to blow my chance, I guess it is not that many of them here in Prague who can help me.
So, you also want me to complete my 15 posts quest :) Sure, I can spam a little bit here and there!
Good morning eerie,
To be honest, I found it harder to get approval to have a tonsillectomy than to get approval for HRT, once I entered the system. It was a lot harder to figure out what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to see. Though I fit into the binary pretty easily. You should try to connect with Sarah84.
About the doctors etc. I saw a therapist for several months before I made an appointment to see a sexologist and I was already pretty sure of what I wanted by then. It might be useful for you to do something similar, though I have no idea of who to recommend for you to see in Prague. Doctor Fifkova in Zizkov is a sexologist and a therapist, but she doesn't speak English. It is likely a good idea to be pretty sure of what you want before you get too deep into the system. After you see the sexologist you will need to get a diagnosis from a clinical psychologist. Prof Weiss, who is the main person who does the diagnosis unless you are in Moravia, is a firm believer in the binary model. He writes frequently in Lidovky or HN (I don't remember which), and he has said that people will eventually choose one gender or another and that being in the middle is just for trying to make a choice...
Well, I need to get ready to go to work.
Take care and have a nice day,
Mary
Good evening Mary :)
I will certainly try to reach Sarah84, but as you can see my 15 posts quests is still ongoing... I don't have that much time and don't want to write complete nonsense ::)
Yesterday I made my first voice record! I want to track my progress, if any. I was disappointed on so many levels! Even my male voice sucks ;D Articulation is not so good, I mumble, and as English is not my native language the accent is also strong. Then I made a spectrogram to see where is my main resonance, it turned out to be even lower than average male resonance. Luckily for me my range is not so bad for someone who never sings, I can go up to C4 without switching to falsetto (at least I think it is not falsetto) and even higher... Though I can't really speak around C4, well, no one said it is going to be easy...
I have another question, if you don't mind. About a therapist, I guess I need someone who specializes in this field (and what is it called?), right? Like Doctor Fifkova? Do they have any modifier to their "therapist" title, and what are they called in Czech?
Quote from: eerie on November 24, 2013, 04:41:51 PM
OK, sorry for my necromancy, I definitely see that red box which says that this topic is older than 30 days, but still...
I am from Czech Republic too, though not a Czech myself, just have been living here for some time. I have a really bad day today, why of these than you want to cry, your head is spinning from all the thoughts... like I am 28 and why I still look like a guy and should I do something about it or not, or what am I in general, transgender, not transgender... or maybe gender fluid and have one of this swings and that is why I was on a shopping spree today and spent a lot on makeup and clothes.... especially on that absolutely gorgeous purple beanie... or maybe I am just a normal pervert ;D So, it is almost night in Prague, I am having a glass of absinthe and googling HRT, and this makes me even more sad, that is how I have found this forum, or even this particular topic.
Anyway, I guess I should say hi at least, therefore - Hi to you all! :) I don't have any particular female name to which I tend to cling, I guess because I mainly speak English (because my Czech really sucks) and pick English names to which I can't really attach because it is not my native language. My mother tongue I also don't use that much, but let's say I'll be Anja.
OK, enough babbling, I just wanted to say hi and I am in hope to connect to some people here in Prague and vicinity. And maybe to see you in person one day, I think it can help me to figure out there I, myself, am standing on this spectrum of self-identification. My last lady friend used to call me "my lady", because according to her I behave like a chick ;D But she is a tough one, according to her everyone she knows is a pussy. :)
Welcome, Anja. We have several other residents of the Czech Republic who post here.
Hello eerie,
Congratulations on starting to work on your voice. Try not to get discouraged, it takes a lot of practice. My voice is also a work in progress. I have started to see a voice therapist at a place called comhealth. It is near the zoo in Prague. I go there once every two weeks.
About the therapist. To be honest, I really don't know what the Czech terms are for a specialist in gender etc aside from sexuolog. My therapist wasn't an expert in gender. She was just someone I could talk to confidentially. I did ask MUDr. Prochazka, the sexologist I saw first, about a therapist who spoke English and specialized in gender and he seemed pretty certain there wasn't one in Prague. Perhaps you could check on www.expats.cz. Alternatively, there are two fairly useful websites for general advice etc, but they are in Czech - www.transsexualita.cz and www.translide.cz. You might be able to find something there if you look under poradna or you could send them an email. Or maybe you could try to get an appointment with MUDr Fifkova and just bring a friend to interpret for you if you need. I know she also runs a support group. If you don't mind me asking, what is your native language? You might have more luck if you look for someone who speaks that language.
Time for breakfast.
Take care and have a nice day,
Mary
Hi Mary!
This is going to be my 15th message!
Thank you for the information, I'll look around. How did it work with your therapist? Did you just said something like - "Hi, I am a transgender person, please help me reassure myself that I am doing the right thing?"
I went to a bar yesterday, I was drinking, smoking, talking really loud of course, so, all my good work of the past days is gone ;D But, it is still good to chat with friends...
Anyway, I hope I'll be able to PM you and answer your question, I don't want to put too much personal information here, at least right now.