I'm looking at starting to transition for realsies in the near future, but I am fairly certain I will never undergo any surgeries of any kind, due to an irrational fear of any and all such medical operations. I know HRT brings with it a number of changes that are potentially wonderful for even "non-op" people such as myself, but it also means the essential de-activation of a part of my body, and a never-ending battle against testosterone.
I was saving this question for my soon-to-be therapist, but I want to know what the community thinks. Is starting HRT with absolutely no intention of ever having any kind of surgery worth it? Or would I be better off just presenting as androgynous and leaving my chemistry alone?
I realize this probably varies on a case-by-case basis, but what do you all think? I'm sorry if I missed this question being asked elsewhere on the boards, but I have not seen it.
I would say do however you think would make you happy, but even if you intend to never get srs, I would still recommend an orchi at the very least. Long term high level dosage's to E, and other transitioning drugs can be hazardous, and it would only make since to go with lower dosages to give yourself least possible harm. Yes you can do lower dosing with-out the orchi but the feminizing factors would be minimal, what you need too answer for yourself is where do you want to end up at?
For sure it's worth it. I guess it does depend on what you're after. But genitals seem like such a tiny aspect to the whole picture. When 99% of people see you, they are going to see your body.
I do agree w/ orchi though.. You don't want to take more medication than you have to!
I remember starting HRT with no intention of having SRS.
I was 13 years postop two days ago. :)
Robyn
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There are no rules about what is right or wrong for any individual in this journey, and many of us change our minds about all sorts of stuff as we progress. So as the other woman have said, just take it at your pace and don't get hung up on issues that are quite down the track anyway.
IDK if it's worth it. What are your intentions? Where do you want to be? How will HRT help you get there?
Quote from: Cindy. on June 09, 2013, 02:03:14 AM
There are no rules about what is right or wrong for any individual in this journey, and many of us change our minds about all sorts of stuff as we progress. So as the other woman have said, just take it at your pace and don't get hung up on issues that are quite down the track anyway.
I suppose I was wrong to think this topic could be generalized. The consensus seems to be that the degree to which HRT with no surgery is "worth it" depends entirely on the person. So... I guess I'll make this personal!
Quote from: calico on June 09, 2013, 01:19:17 AM
what you need too answer for yourself is where do you want to end up at?
Quote from: Jennygirl on June 09, 2013, 01:23:34 AM
For sure it's worth it. I guess it does depend on what you're after.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on June 09, 2013, 03:46:55 AM
IDK if it's worth it. What are your intentions? Where do you want to be? How will HRT help you get there?
Thanks for pointing out these questions. I'd never really vocalized them before. My dysphoria stems somewhat from feeling weird in my body, but it has more to do with how people relate to me. I don't feel comfortable presenting as male or androgynous. So my goal with HRT would be to "pass" well enough that the average person would finally see me as the person I am inside and I could leave my house feeling (relatively) confident. It's a shame how much your appearance affects how people understand you!
Quote from: calico on June 09, 2013, 01:19:17 AM
I would still recommend an orchi at the very least.
Quote from: Jennygirl on June 09, 2013, 01:23:34 AM
I do agree w/ orchi though.. You don't want to take more medication than you have to!
Yeah, I suppose an orchiectomy would be required... I guess I'll have to tough it up for that one. I hate those little things, anyway! But it will still take months of psychological preparation...
Quote from: Robyn on June 09, 2013, 01:27:02 AM
I remember starting HRT with no intention of having SRS. [...] I was 13 years postop two days ago. :)
:) Happy anniversary! There is a voice in the back of my mind telling me that the further down the road I get, the more feasible things like SRS will become... You may just be divining my future. :)
Quote from: iiii on June 09, 2013, 01:37:09 AM
If it's irrational you should maybe work on it?
Valid point. Why identify something as irrational and then just leave it that way? Sometimes it takes another person to point out your little insanities... Thanks.
Quote from: Cindy. on June 09, 2013, 02:03:14 AM
There are no rules about what is right or wrong for any individual in this journey, and many of us change our minds about all sorts of stuff as we progress. So as the other woman have said, just take it at your pace and don't get hung up on issues that are quite down the track anyway.
Is not that ^^^ the truth....
I transitioned pre everything with the idea that I would never do HRT or anything else...and then ...I started this and that and after several years...well, so many opinions and perspectives have changed...even the boys look different this days LOL...and yes, I cannot wait for my SRS...
Hi Caramel Prisoner, I just started this journey a little over 4 months ago now. And because of health issues I will not be having srs. I will however be having an orchi. In talking to my doctor about this she said that I will be no less of a woman because of this. In the end it's your body, so just do what you feel comfortable with.
Hugs
I don't plan on having SRS for a variety of reasons. I still transitioned, even though I knew that right from the start. I'm glad I did. It hasn't solved all of my problems in life, but has quietened some of them down enough that I can deal with the rest. It's been worth it for me.
I had been on/off low dose HRT several times over several decades. I found that it had helped a lot as a sort of brain or emotional reseter. After several months stopping for various reasons. Mainly when things down below were starting to be affected. Not exactly compatable with my goal of wanting just to be a 'Normal guy'
If a solution to downstairs is what you are after just antiandrogens alone will do the job with little to no feminization. From what I hear many endos start us out now for a few months with just an AA to see how you mentally react to the changes in hormones.
As you may be noticing, there are plenty of Non-Op T's in this world. I count myself among them. I never hated having the dangly bits. Sure I wish they weren't there but.... The last thing I worry about when out in the real world as the real me is a surprise panty-check
I started HRT in November of 2011 and doubted I would ever have surgery. I'm still not at a point where SRS is in my future. I am planning on having an orchiectomy. You have to choose your transition path based on your own life and situation.
I plan on SRS/GRS, but even if I never do it, the emotional & physical changes of HRT have been worth it x 1000.
Quote from: Caramel Prisoner on June 09, 2013, 01:00:14 AM
...but it also means the essential de-activation of a part of my body
There are plenty of women who are non-op and live full, productive lives and don't give it a second thought. So as a choice, it is certainly as valid as having SRS. I guess it all depends on your goals. Me, myself, I don't think I will feel complete without SRS but maybe I have just convinced myself for so so so long that that is what i want it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I highlighted the quote above to ask how are you going to feel when your genitals are deactivated, shrinking and about as useful as an appendix? Granted this does not happen to everyone and some can keep on using it right up until SRS but it certainly is a possibility that you will render it inert and are you okay with that? if you are, I see no reason to not start HRT asap.
It's only worth it if you feel that it is. That's all there is too it.
I have my own irrational fear of surgeries myself. I'll never forget when I had my first surgery (not SRS but similar region) and I needed the nurse to hold my hand into the operating room. It was very hard and scary. At the the end of the day, I did what was needed for my health and am glad I did it. Sometimes we do things for our health that we never would have thought we'd do. I still feel terrified about the day I will have SRS. Not because I don't want it (I very much want it), but because I hate the idea of surgery. So, I can easily relate with how you feel on that front.
If you don't want SRS, there is no need for it and hrt can still be well worth it. However, if you do want SRS and just feel scared of being operated on, I'd recommend you examine those fears. It's up to you to decide whether anything is worth it in the end.
Good luck on the beginning of your journey :)
Quote from: Caramel Prisoner on June 09, 2013, 05:48:45 AM
Thanks for pointing out these questions. I'd never really vocalized them before. My dysphoria stems somewhat from feeling weird in my body, but it has more to do with how people relate to me. I don't feel comfortable presenting as male or androgynous. So my goal with HRT would be to "pass" well enough that the average person would finally see me as the person I am inside and I could leave my house feeling (relatively) confident. It's a shame how much your appearance affects how people understand you!
If you want to pass, then HRT will more than likely help you. Not saying it WILL, not saying you'll need to to pass, but it helps big time. I would've never passed pre-hrt, now I'm hardly ever clocked even in situations where you'd think I would be (hanging around unpassable transsexuals, in gay / drag clubs, etc). HRT can do some significant things to help you pass and feel better about yourself.
And yes, people are much nicer to you the more you blend. It sucks but it's the truth. The sad thing is, no matter how well you blend, lots of people out there will still consider you a freak, or keep you at a certain arms length if you have that M on the ID (job applications, anyone?)
Probably repeating what others have said ... ::)
SRS is years in the future for me, if at all. I personally don't consider it as important as long as my wife stays with me. I started HRT about a week ago and am very happy I took that step. I am already starting to feel a little difference.
Only you can decide what is right for you. Good luck ;D
Non-op rocks. I'd rather have a female bottom, but it beats living as a man.
I haven't had the feminizing or emotional effects that a lot of women have, but I'm still happy I did it. The breasts make it more than worthwhile.
As said above, there is no set path. Look to your heart and go with what you feel comfortable with. You might change your mind several times with what you feel you want but that's ok. Before starting out though, make sure you are aware of all the effects of HRT including any negative factors that come from being on long term meds
after coming out recently i have been thinking about it really hard wether for me it is worth the risk of surgery as i have a sevre allergic reaction to anesthetic so im am kinda in the same boat as you but even with my fears i feel im going to have surgery bottom and top or it would be pointless having hrt but im am not saying you should'nt it just depends what you want to get from transitioning but for me it is 100% needed as at the moment i have no real sex life as i hate the way i am to the point where the little blue pill wont even help me because 95% of sex is in your head and i hate the idea of men and the male genitalia (its ugly and i want to be b-e-a-uuuuuu-tiful ;) ).
sorry for kinda jacking your post
Quote from: wardyjnr on June 09, 2013, 05:48:52 PM
after coming out recently i have been thinking about it really hard wether for me it is worth the risk of surgery as i have a sevre allergic reaction to anesthetic so im am kinda in the same boat as you but even with my fears i feel im going to have surgery bottom and top or it would be pointless having hrt but im am not saying you should'nt it just depends what you want to get from transitioning but for me it is 100% needed as at the moment i have no real sex life as i hate the way i am to the point where the little blue pill wont even help me because 95% of sex is in your head and i hate the idea of men and the male genitalia (its ugly and i want to be b-e-a-uuuuuu-tiful ;) ).
sorry for kinda jacking your post
Just an FYI they can use different anesthetic, found this out as I a have a severe allergy to eggs which is the basis of conventional anesthesia , so they had to choose the alternative.
Also I was very scared going into surgery being this was my first surgery ever, never been under, I wasn't anywhere near family or friends, I had a list of medical issues, and though I understood there was still a language barrier so you could imagine the fear I had, the nurse held my hand till I was out.. In my situation which sounds a lot like mine, I had to get the surgery.
surgery period is scary, and don't let anyone say it isn't, but what it all comes down to is it something you must have? for me, yes for anyone else... that is their choice.
After speaking to my doctor it is also posible to have both top and bottom done under local anesthetic and epidural
Surgery is not the ultimate goal.The goal is to be happy.Hormones help you get there. Some people need to complete the surgical stages,others do not feel that they need. If you are happy and feel accomplished without the surgery, then you should not feel pressed to have it. In my case I hope to be able to have the surgery, but also understand that thing may change and maybe down the road I will simply feel satisfied with what I will have accomplished in my transition by that time. At the end, although society defines us anatomically based on what we have between our legs, what matters is how we feels between our ears. :angel: