Note: This is also posted in the HRT Forum.
Hi folks,
I recently visited a trans-friendly endo in my area to ask some questions about taking T as well as some other issues I have (I'm borderline hypothyroid). We talked it over, discussed methods, side effects, and the reasons that I'm interested in T. He explained that he follows an informed consent model and practically offered me a prescription. I remember not even thinking and just saying "yes!". I was in a daze, I couldn't believe that I had a script literally in my hands after the appointment. Thing is, I haven't been talking to my partner about this process as much as I wanted to. I'm certain that I want to take T, but I guess I'm nervous that I haven't been talking about it with my partner. I also feel guilty about already having a prescription getting filled (which I'm picking up tomorrow) and I haven't even shared this with them.
I realized that I'm afraid of what they might think. I'm out to my partner, they know I want top surgery, they know I'm not a typical ftm-story (I'm gender queer)...but for some reason, I'm just afraid that taking T will hurt my partner somehow. My reaction to this feeling was to avoid talking about it and now I feel anxious about bringing it up in conversation. I know the only remedy is to just tell them and talk to them about it, but I'm just having trouble gathering the courage. Any advice on bringing it up?
Thanks so much!
maybe you could gage their reaction with say "how would you feel if.." or "what do you think about.."? to start the conversation rolling.
I would start with explaining how it randomly happened at the doctor's office, so your partner would not feel left out about a huge step you are taking in your life. Emphasize that you didn't plan on it happening that quickly, and that of course their opinion on the matter is important to you.
Just be careful not to start with something that leaves room for them to react non-positively, leaving you standing there with the script in your hand faced with saying something like "Well - I'm doing it anyways".
At least create the illusion they are in the loop, especially since you did not plan to leave them out of it anyways.
How you explained things to us, explain it that way to them. How things happened with the doc without warning. Then how you love them and value their opinion but you're afraid that they won't be on board with this. Just be honest.