Yesterday I went to a session with my therapist and he remarked again that if I would just do my cross-dressing at my apartment, then there's be no problem, but once I decide to go out (which I've been public since 2001) that that is then considered abnormal behaviour. He's noticed that I've been more rational in my way of thinking and talking, and he asked me if I had a choice, would I consdier living full time as a woman or am I content with the way I am now? Trying to avoid the question, I told him that it doesn't matter either way. I still consider myself to be a transgender.
Gina :icon_dance:
I believe that you have a good handle on your own feelings and what you want to do, Gina. I know I'm transgender whether or not I go out or dress. It's something inside of me and I am not stressed at all by it. The choice that your therapist gave you, what was the point being made?
Gennee
???
Thanks Gennee for your warm and kind words. Very good point about the fact that if you go out dressed or not, you still consider yourself a transgender. That was one point that I tried to stress to my therapist. Now my therapist also administers my medication, and even though it's taken some time to get the right one to work properly, he feels that I'm a lot calmer and more rational than I was four months ago. Now in regards to that question that he had asked me, four monthsago, if a Genie had appeared and could grant me a wish that I would have taken it without a second thought. Now that I'm thinking more rationally, he wanted to know where my mindset was.
Gina :icon_dance:
www.freewebs.com
Quote from: gina_taylor on June 07, 2007, 06:19:12 AM
Trying to avoid the question, I told him that it doesn't matter either way. I still consider myself to be a transgender.
Gina :icon_dance:
why would you avoid the question?
The reason that I tried to avoid the question, is that I've spoken with my therapist numerous times about my transsexuality and he seems to be hesitent in accepting me. He always takes a neutral poition when he gives me a reply, so after he asked me the question, I tried to avoid it, but just told him straight out that simply it doesn't matter either way. I am now and forever will be a transgender.
Gina :icon_dance:
Quote from: gina_taylor on June 09, 2007, 08:13:01 AM
The reason that I tried to avoid the question, is that I've spoken with my therapist numerous times about my transsexuality and he seems to be hesitent in accepting me. He always takes a neutral poition when he gives me a reply, so after he asked me the question, I tried to avoid it, but just told him straight out that simply it doesn't matter either way. I am now and forever will be a transgender.
Gina :icon_dance:
I would suggest looking into finding a new therapist. It sounds like this one is trying to pigeon hole you into one specific category.
Thanks for the suggestion Ranae, but the main reason that I see my therapist is so that I can get the proper medication to control my rages and depression (which is caused from loneliness) and it helps me to think more rationally. Unforunately, like many other therapists that I've seen, he doesn't know that much about transsexuality, so we briefly go over that, and he always takes a nutral position with his comments.
Gina :icon_dance:
Quoteif a Genie had appeared and could grant me a wish that I would have taken it without a second thought.
It's funny, i often fantasized about he genie thing. I think i would really ask to be a woman without second thought, not as my first desire thought...
Anyway, having a neutral position is what Psychologists do, it wouldn't be good if he somewhat guided you into a choice rather than another, it is for you to decide, not him. I'm sure if you'd ask him "do you not accept me for what i am?" he would answer "Why do you think i'm not accepting you?" or something around those lines. Psychologist are so predictable once you get to understand their "modus operandi". It's not wrong anyway, it could be possibly true that you think he isn't accepting you because of the "Transfert". I suggest you to talk about it with him. The need of acceptance is one of the key factor in being transgender, you should also explain to him what you said to us. It doesn't matter if he doesn't understand you, what really matters is that you understand yourself, and usually psychologist help with that... usually.
My inner girl does not want to stay in the house... maybe the mall
Daisy
most of my is for woman i have not gon out yeat the only time i wear mans clouth is at work i do work in a wearhouse i would wear makup but i dont now how put it on at this time some day i will i feill more at home wearing femail stuff and wating to pass i do go out and shop for new stuff all the time and my inner girl dose not to stay in eather my spilling is not the best have a good day tommie
Gina,
You definitly need a new therapist!! One that DOES know about dealing with transexuality.
In a different thread you said there was another city about a 30 min. drive away.... Maybe there would be a Therapist there that has experience with Transexuals.
I am not a big fan of therapists... (Bad experiences....)
But if they help, they help! AND the Benjamin Standards require you to see one. I hope your therapist at least has LOOKED at those Standards.
I am not a big fan of being the 'Gunea Pig' for a professional, but if he/she is at least trying to help I could deal with them for a while.
Hugs,
Lisa Elizabeth
Thanks LisaElizabeth for your kind and thoughtful words. Yes I did say that there was another city about 30 min away, and I've seen a therapist there as well, and he was even worse. I'm just glad that I pay a co-pay instead of full price. Unfortunately this part of Florida is to conservative and they just don't understand what transsexualism is all about. I am now seeing a psychotherapist and I think that I'm getting through to her more than anyone else. However, I'm not sure if any of them have heard of the Benjamin Standards, but I have looked through it, and because I consider myslef to be non-op transsexual, I don't think that I would technically fit into it.
Gina :icon_dance: :icon_geekdance:
I luck out i guess, my current therapist is TS. When i was C/D dressing at home or in hotel made my depression/rage and jealousy worse.
I had a couple of bad therapist in California and Boston. The one in boston wanted to do shock treament on me in 2003 to cure me. He said to "kill the girl in me". I'm glad i opted to be Trans!!!!! The Hormones for me has lifted my depression and other thingy so far.
I would look into what the other girl's suggested and get another therapist.
Hey Robin P,
Really sounds as though you did luck out with finding a therapist who is a TS. I honestly can't believe that a doctor would suggest doing shock treatment to cure something that can't be cured! :eusa_think: Really glad to hear that your transitioning is coming along. I go into stages of depression periodically, and as long as I take my medication, it will be controlled. I just wish that my psychiatrist would address the real problem for it though, but I guess that's why I'm seeing a psychologist.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hey Gina,
I don't know if you remember me, but I am so glad to hear that you are feeling calmer, happier or whatever. I would just suggest that if you can't easily find another therapist, just keep this one, but take what he, (was it a "he"?--that may be part of the problem--I think women are at least a little more understanding of how we feel?), what he has to say with a grain of salt. Psychiatry/psychology is still part-art/part-science, and an "expert" without experience with TG issues should be trying to learn from you, not just give you his opinions. In this area, he's no expert. Has he mentioned doing any reading about the subject on his own? Maybe you could recommend some good books to him!
Lotsa love, your sister from way-back-when, Vicki
Posted on: September 24, 2007, 03:49:42 PM
P.S.
Me again. Don't deny yourself opportunities to go out as yourself. If you still look even half as good as the last set of your photos that I saw--which was only two(?) years ago--you should still look great! If you've been working at your feminine image, you're probably better than ever! (One good thing about being a CD is that if you can sometimes make time go backwards. I look much younger as a woman than I do as a man--of course in the latter mode I have alot less hair!) If you have some safe places to get out and show off those gams, well, all I can say is "Go for it." Has the shrink ever seen you as a women? Maybe he'd change his mind about "abnormality!"
Lotsa love Vicki
Good luck to you , hon!!!!
I guess all this up and downs is what makes transitioning interesting!!! I just hate the low spot..... giggles
Hey Vicki,
Yeah I do remember you. How have you been girl? I've been living on my own, which is one thing that can account for my calmness these days, and I've been able to get out a little bit more and I've been trying out new looks. It's really so exillerating!!! A few months ago I was seeing a social worker and I thought she was so much into me, that I went dressed for my third session and she freaked, so I don't want to have a repeature of that with my psychiatrist.
Gina :icon_dance:
Hey, Gina. How are you? I'm happy to hear that you are out on your own. Ther comes a time when we have to leave the nest, so to speak. It sounds like you are more at ease with yourself and who you are and that's great.
Gennee
:)
Nice to hear from you to Gennee. I've actually been living on my own now for almost two years and I've really been enjoying it to the limits!!! It's such a stress release to be myself for once without having anyone to tell me that I can't be.
Gina :icon_dance:
Being out in public is a thrill. It's natural to me because I feel so free and easy. I basically through caution to the wind a couple of months back and I don't regret it at all.
Gennee
Y'know Gennee, right now I'm feeling as though I've been uncautious about my decisions. Unfortunately I've gotten myself into more problems by going public than I have by just staying in.
Gina :icon_dance:
Posted on: September 28, 2007, 06:47:54 AM
Every year at my church they have a big block party, and every year I've avoided it and gone to the local shopping mall's candy hand out. This year I've decided that I'm going to make an appearance at the block party, and see what happens, not that I'm expecting anything because it's Halloween.
Gina :icon_dance:
I would love to know how that turns out, Gina. Perhaps you will educate some folks about transgender. I always like to believe that there's someone out there who may be struggling with similar issues. Maybe they need a nudge to take the next step or some encouragement. Don't take that gathering for granted.
Gennee
:)
Sure Gennee, always happy to oblige. I'll let y'all know how well it turns it out and if I have any bad experiences. But like I've said before, People that have known me in my male guise far a long time can somewaht easily pick me up in my female guise easily. It's when I'm around total strangers that I'm better at being my real self, but I should be abel to het soem nice compliments. :icon_biggrin:
Gina :icon_dance: