Hello there :)
I'm new around here, but in the few days I've been browsing, this place seems amazingly supportive and fun and so I'm ready to jump in.
Where to begin, it's been a crazy few days. I was born male, and for the last 27 years have lived as a male. I always felt something was a little off, but had always suppressed the feelings until relatively recently. Last year, one of my friends made a comment that I seemed 30% female. Strangely this didn't bother me at all, it was almost liberating. It was one of the first times I rather felt proud of whatever it is I was rather than fearful for the scornful reactions of other people from whatever feminine qualities I had.
More recently I just grew tired of suppressing the feelings and I actively looked at what I could do to explore my gender more. One thing I've always been good at is homework. And boy did I read up on the topic. I had never really considered there being much of an option out there other than GRS, and HRT had never really occurred to me as I didn't know it existed. I looked at every picture in the 96 page Before and After thread and it was so inspiring.
So I made an appointment with a psychologist. I have my first appointment this Friday. I'm nervous but so excited to doing something. I have a ways to go, but I think I'm ready to admit that that 30% figure should be much higher.
I confessed to a friend this week and she was super supportive. They were surprised, but also not surprised - I imagine the reaction is pretty common. The only conversation I was dreading was with my wife. Yeah. I put it off for a few days but eventually plucked up the courage to bring up the subject last night. I was amazed by the positive and accepting reaction I got. I had to have said "you're not freaking out" quite a few times. It was the kind of reaction you get told not to expect, and to prepare for the worst. I got the same surprised but not surprised reaction from her as I did my friends. She has some totally legitimate and expected worries about still being attracted to me if I do change, as in her words she's been attracted to so few women but overall I couldn't have hoped for much better and it truly made me thankful I had her in my life.
It felt amazing. Such a relief. So glad to be here and exploring this side of me.
I'm not sure if I can post pictures but here's the current me if it works :)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-prn1%2F26813_669005031760_734363_n.jpg&hash=8ddaedb50ab37854d764818ced7271f2d340b7e2)
That's a really nice introduction. I wish you the best of luck!
Jessica
Hi Andaya, welcome to Susan's Place! I live up near Boston. Grab a spot on the couch and get ready to make a lot of friends! See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
Thank you both!
Devlyn, I actually went to law school in Boston before moving to NY. Great city :) I'm originally from England too.
Pleased to meet you Andaya.
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Keep those lines of communication open with your spouse.
Hi Andaya, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11725 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(