allow me to introduce myself, I am Daphne: (note: I am using an alias name here for personal safety reasons)
I am a 43 year old genetically born male, (MTF), married, father of 2. (my kids are young, 9 and 5 as of this writing)
I never expected my life to take this turn, I don't think I have to explain that to those reading this on this forum.
but I want to tell my story here because it is very different from those I have heard myself.
it seams that for whatever reason, my body has initiated this MTF change on it's own!
before you laugh and scoff and quote off miles of medical knowledge you may have, please continue to read.
I am epileptic, I have been since I was about 10 or 11. back in August of 2010 I suffered a seizure that hospitalized me.
it took some time to recover from it. it was quite traumatic, more than the others I typically have experienced.
I believe this seizure has altered the way my hormones work. because it was only after recovering from this seizure that I started to notice bodily changes (like breast development) that I have never had before.
one afternoon, my sister told me to "put a shirt on" when I was mowing grass, I was surprised at her and asked why?! she stated, to cover your "BOOBS"
this was an embarrassing moment for me. after that I started doing some research on "men who develop breasts."
it was in this time that I found an article about "gender dysphoric"
I originally passed it up because it was not the topic I was looking for. but it kept popping up in my searches so I read it.
HOLY COW! OMG! I could not believe what I was reading! it was like I was reading all about myself! it was like someone knew ME better than I knew myself, and wrote the article about me!
suddenly I could see myself in a new light! everything started to make sense!
now I knew WHY I was the way I was!
over the weeks to follow I started to remember little moments in my life that never made sense to me, but now they made perfect sense! they fit the puzzle perfectly!
I never realized I was actually suffering from Gender Dysphoria all my life. (or at least a very young age) I had a severe head injury at age 5 due to an accident. I believe it was this injury that has caused me to be epileptic.
well that was an unexpected discovery, but it paved the way for me to accept the bodily changes I was seeing occur.
now I am wondering if somehow, my brain, in a survival attempt due to the seizure, switched my hormones to operate like that of a female! and perhaps, knew this was the correct thing to do due to the gender dysphoria I had, even when I knew nothing about it!
today I am hardly able to pass as male anymore.
it has not been a smooth ride by any means,
my wife has had the most difficult time accepting the "new me"
she is very "homophobic" as it were, and is afraid that others will think she is a lesbian.
this troubles her, and that is what hurts me the most. because I never wanted to hurt her.
to make this worse, I was raised in a very conservative bible believing home. so I had a lot of things happening to me that was just unacceptable by the standards to which I was raised! I had a lot of questions that needed answers, and there was no one to answer them. with only prayer and faith to lead me I had to find a way to reconcile the differences I had no control over.
I did some blogging under my real name (mistake), and I confided in what I thought was a friend at work. needless to say it back fired, and I got outed at work early on before I had answers to my questions.
this spread all over the community, and before long, my sister, mother, father, and the church pastor were all on my back!
and I also had a situation at work where I had to see HR about this! it seams the blogging I did went viral, (at least locally) and someone got offended! and someone else got in trouble! it seams I fingered them out, (although not by name).
what a mess!
this is why today I do not use my REAL name online. and I am very careful where I post my photos and who see's them.
this whole thing is a religious faux pau. in this community. so I live out as myself only about 90% of the time. the other 10% is locally spent time, I dress down then, but due to my development, I look like a woman trying to look like a man!
just recently I received my carry letter from my therapist. I immediately took it to the DMV and got my gender maker changed. (have not changed my name yet) that will require a court order to complete.
I am taking this as slowly as I can due to my wife's difficulty to accept this. she is trying very hard, I am very proud of her. she wants to stay with me regardless how I look. but she misses the "male me" I was suppose to be her "prince" after all. now her prince has size 36C breasts, (and growing)
I could make this go on for much to long so that's all for now, if anyone wants to ask me a question, send me a personal message. thank you!
Daphne
Hi Daphne, welcome to Susan's Place! MTF from Boston here. Grab some snacks and get busy posting, I'll see you around the site! Hugs, Devlyn
It's good that your wife is trying, it often takes a while for the reality to really sink in. I'm over in the Quad Cities, so hello from Iowa! Welcome to the forms and remember, we are all here for you. And sorry you have Epilepsy! My cousin and a childhood friend both have it.
Hi Daphne, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 11766 . That would be one heck of a family reunion.
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Janet )O(