I think i am transgender, but about 8 months ago i never would have known the word. All i know is that I don't fit in at school, and that ever since i was really (really) little, i was always "Special", or "Different". I never really had much friends, only about 2 or 3, and they always where changing, I was never into things that boys liked, like Football or Baseball, and thus i was always "Teased" (And i use that term loosely) about the fact that i like Sewing, Cooking, and other feminine things, I always was about to understand Girls better than boys, i never understood why men have such hairy bodies, while women don't, it was always just so unfair to me...!
All of the boys in school are talking about "Hey did you see ---? she look go-o-o-o-o-o-d!" or something, but I never saw anything like that in girls, all I've ever seems them as is friends, and I seem to be able to understand them, better than others do when it comes to boys, probably because I will actually listen to them, and unlike others who will just ignore them and go "yeah, sure, of course, uh huh.." (Too much Drama for middle school, forget about it until High school)
Because I was always doing things like Cooking, Sewing, (and a little bit of knitting), my Uncle, brothers, friends, etc. never really had too much to talk to me about, because they all talked about how the Hawks won blah blah, but I cannot sit in a room filled with Beer & on a stained couch staring at a TV for hours, eating chips & such things. I'd rather be with my mom & sister(s) watching "How do I Look?" or something along those lines.
As for what got me into Susans, and other trans communities, it was about 8 months ago (September..?) at my sister's birthday Party. They where playing some kind of dress up game, (the kind i always wanted to participate in but it would look weird if i asked to join, and my brothers would laugh me out of the house) so they needed one more person, and they gave me some clothes that i put on, and it just felt kind of.... right. Shortly after i was watching come random program on TV with my mom, and something about some person named "Chaz Bono" came up, and i asked about him, and apparently he had gone from a girl to a boy, so i thought, Well cant you go from a boy to a girl? so after a bit of research, i came upon the term "Transgender", "MtF", etc. It all kind of went downhill from there.
No one knows that i feel this way, and I finally took the time to make a brand new email, and an account on that email, on Incognito, because my brothers would give me Hell if they found out about this.
So I guess i am just wanting to know, does this (Possibly) mean i'm trans? I wish i could add more information, this is only about 1/2 what i wanted to add but unfortunately i need to go :(
Also, if you have any tips for "Coming Out" to family, i'm young and I have very supporting Mom, but i don't know how my dad would react to this, although he always seemed to be indifferent about Gays, Lesbians, etc, although i never brought up the topic. I don't really want to talk about this with my family, because I'm really scared about their reactions. I know that there's a Gender Therapist about 7 miles away, so its not too bad, convenient, actually, but if i really am trans, then I just want to get this out of the way, because to me, this seems to be the biggest obstical, besides a Therapist.
Hi EdekStaszek :icon_wave:
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Hugs
V M
Well, only you can decide whether or not you are trans. I haven't fully decided whether or not I'm trans myself, but I'll try to give some advice. You should ask yourself some questions to help you decide if this is the right path for you. Would you want to live as a woman? Would you want everyone to accept and treat you as a woman? Are you fine with going through procedures like HRT, FFS or SRS? If you feel like you are definitely trans I would suggest you see the therapist you mentioned to help you come to a conclusion about what you should do.
I think the best tip is to go see that therapist. If you need your parents to get you there, maybe just tell your mother and only mention depression to her. Bring up the rest in therapy when it's just you and the therapist. Having been the oddball at school growing up, I have to believe that telling schoolmates you're trans is going to make that feeling much worse if you're not sure. On the other hand, if you are 100% sure, do what I never did and be yourself right when you know instead of waiting 40 years.
You're the only one that can really decide. Most of what you mentioned is just gender stereotypes and could mean anything. There are women that have zero desire to be men that are boxers and auto mechanics, traditionally male dominated activities. There are men that are makeup artists that have no desire to be women. Point in case, my father is basically a caveman in everything he says and does, but he's the one that cooks the meals. The role means very little. It's how you feel inside.
Thanks guys, I guess that this helps me to get rid of anxiety, writing / typing, that is. I almost actually "Came Out" after i wrote this, because as i said, it helps me reduce anxiety, and helps me think straight. But then i saw that both of my brothers where in the same room. Ya, i'd rather not do it in front of them, rather one on one. Again, thanks..!
Do you have any tips for Coming Out? Experiences?
-Eddie
There is a board here on Susan's where folks look for and give advice for coming out and also share their coming out stories:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,29.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,29.0.html)
Good luck!
Thanks :) I'll check that out. I probably shouldn't be up at 1am... but its the only time i have uninterrupted computer time.