So I thought I would start a somewhat lighthearted thread out of curiousity. I've recently come out to some close family. Since they were all very supportive one of the things that I asked them was what they actually noticed was different appearance wise. I know everyone is different and I am looking forward to your replies!
For me, by far, the most common response was that they noticed my nails. I keep my nails long and manicured. My nails have a natural french tip to them. The only other thing they noticed besides the obvious long hair was that I was my eyebrows. But the only person that noticed my eyebrows was my brothers wife who is an esthetician.
I think this thread might help a little too to let people know what they can get away with to feel a little more normal while presenting as male. The things that I got away with are... Laser treatments, pierced ears, shaved arm hair, shaved legs, shaved chest and armpits, pedicures, and my ever changing toe nail polish.
<3 Liv
I don't think I've changed at all most days other then some boobage but yesterday I hung out with a friend I haven't seen in 18 months and the first words out of his mouth were "You're a woman." People have asked my friend if I'm getting a sex change because it looks like I'm becoming a woman and look totally different and stuff, so something must be changing. But I can't see it other then the obvious boobs but yet everyone genders me female. I don't even think my boobs are that big but my friend didn't believe hormones could do that and thought I must have gotten implants. All I know is people notice and I don't know why and that really bothers me.
I thought it would be nails, but the earrings really made the big difference.
We see ourselves everyday and the day to day changes are so slight that we don't notice much if anything.
(The only way I can see my changes is by taking a photo of me every month and then looking at the pictures of my past.)
But when someone who hasn't seen you for a long time or even before you started HRT they will notice even the slightest of change.
The other week I had a long time friend come visit me who has not seen me in eleven years because I had moved away. She came to see me with her personal care attendant whom I had never met before.
Well my friend Marie could not get over the changes in me and her aid said that if she did not know I was trans that she would have said I was a cis woman. and I am only five months into my transition.
My family noticed a huge difference in my face. They all said it's a lot rounder then it used to be.
I had a pretty androgynous appearance beforehand, with long hair, piercings, shaving the legs/arms, wearing clear nail polish. I was constantly called on it, but was usually able to make some excuse for it. My brother did tell me he noticed my breast growth several months before I came out to him, but thought I might have been embarrassed to talk about it. It actually would've been a good segue if he would've called me on it looking back.
I never really asked anybody, but I'm sure it was my face that last time I did this. It could have been the hair, but I had long hair for years and nobody ever gendered me female. Just suddenly at one point people kept gendering me female while in male mode, then stuttering when I spoke. Unfortunately it really scared me that this was actually happening finally and I detransitioned. I guess I'm more the type of person that enjoys the journey over the destination. I like the grind in video games too, so it's not too hard to believe.
After I told one of my friends, he told me that the last time he saw me he remembered thinking to himself, "oh, i didn't know he was gay." This was at a place where we were separated and I didn't say a word to him, just waved at him. Idk what that even means and I've been meaning to ask him. Something about how I looked just openly exuded that I find men attractive?
Another friend told me he knew this was coming because I was just really feminine acting and he could tell something was up.
Not really helpful, bit just weird things.
Few of the people who've taken a break from seeing me only said my face skin got better....
I've been able to get away with shaved legs, shaved arms, eyebrow shaping, wearing a women's watch, wearing women's shorts (not short shorts, just athletic shorts that are tighter than male shorts,) growing my hair out past "normal" male length, and women's jeans. And while there were people who noticed my eyebrows, it was all positive compliments on how good they looked. Shockingly, the thing that most commonly gets noticed out of all of these is my women's watch. SO many people ask me "is that a women's watch?" at my poker tables, but not a single one of them seems to notice anything else. People have also noticed my hair, but they just ask me if I'm growing it out, I say yes, and that's it.
Only one person has noticed my shaved legs, at least enough to say something about them, not a single person has noticed my arms, and not a single person has noticed my androgynous clothing.
In terms of HRT, when I ask my roommate if she sees anything different, her most common response is that "you look smoother." Which she explains means both in shape and texture. Nobody else has even noticed it, though, even though I have been posting picture updates every 4 weeks or so on my Facebook profile, along with a few subtle hints that something more than weight loss is going on.
You can get away with a LOT without being noticed. The closest that I've ever been to someone actually thinking something was going on with me, was when I got hit on by a gay guy at work because he thought I was, with the way I moved and talked and dressed and looked.
Well.. people noticed my breasts and my skin, I was told my skin looked softer or kinda shinny and hair was getting longer, this was after I started hrt
things I did before hrt and before I came out publicly, which I think I got away with... unless people noticed and never said anything
Pierced ears (ok .. I wore studs when presenting as male)
shaved legs, chest and pits
clear nail polish on my toes, which i wore basically all the time.
my manicured nails, I never wore nail polish on my finger nails, unless I was dressed as a noleen.
but I think shaving your legs and pierced ears, anyone should get away with, as its not that too strange for men to shave their legs or to have pierced ears.
can't say i really get away with anything. i have made changes like dressing full time, colored hair extensions (trans flag actually), femme eye glasses, and a completely feminine hair style. when i'm around one of the 2 people who i haven't told i cover everything up, but i have to go to extremes to cover some of it, so it is noticeable that i'm covering something up, just not what.
Great responses so far! I guess it made me realise I was getting away with a little more too. I also got away with a year on HRT and breasts peaking from under my shirts. I also got away with being more of my authentic self in my male presentation. As in being more secure with myself to voice opinions, call guys on certain BS and to just be more genuine. Which in tern has made some manarrisms shift to the female range. Keep the responses coming! :laugh:
<3 Liv
For me it was the TMZ story. lol. I've a had several friends I hadn't seen in a while notice my eyes. "Your eyes a bigger!" is usually what they say. And that I'm looking younger. My bank manager noticed by small boobs under my shirt and felt me up.
In my case I think it was the breast growth. By the time I made the decision to transition I had already: ears double pierced, kept my body shaved, acrylic nails or at least a nice mani/pedi, feminine glasses and clothes - although the clothes were at least semi-androgynous. Perhaps if I had enough hair on my head to be "useful" that would've stood out as I've always kept it short and I would've let it grow out; but alas I don't so.... I do think I had one or two people mention my eyebrows as they've always been "bushy" (to be nice) and now I get them threaded to thin them out and arch them as best as possible.
What most people seemed to notice was a glow about me when I started my transition. A weight had been lifted and I was smiling more and was more outgoing and comfortable. The physical changes were my arms and upper body and the softness of my skin. Once facial changes began I was more comfortable appearing without makeup....that truly made my physical changes more noticeable.
Quote from: Madison Leigh on June 30, 2013, 09:48:55 PM
In my case I think it was the breast growth. By the time I made the decision to transition I had already: ears double pierced, kept my body shaved, acrylic nails or at least a nice mani/pedi, feminine glasses and clothes - although the clothes were at least semi-androgynous. Perhaps if I had enough hair on my head to be "useful" that would've stood out as I've always kept it short and I would've let it grow out; but alas I don't so.... I do think I had one or two people mention my eyebrows as they've always been "bushy" (to be nice) and now I get them threaded to thin them out and arch them as best as possible.
Wow you got away with acrylics?! I'm so jelous. I can see people staring at my naturally long nails as it is right now. I couldn't imagine if I had acrylics. I was not and am not brave enough to start working female clothing into my current boy mode. Of course my mail mode is mostly button down shirts and slacks, for the office...
Quote from: tulsatran on July 01, 2013, 01:01:17 PM
What most people seemed to notice was a glow about me when I started my transition. A weight had been lifted and I was smiling more and was more outgoing and comfortable. The physical changes were my arms and upper body and the softness of my skin. Once facial changes began I was more comfortable appearing without makeup....that truly made my physical changes more noticeable.
My mom mentioned something that she noticed I was starting to share more of my personal life with her than I had in the past. You must have had the euphoric estrogen pills? ;)
Thanks for all the replies ladies!!
<3 Liv
Tight skin on my face and breast growth.
I think the first thing people noticed was that I started to look gay. Super gay.
List according to people I've come out to.
1 - Long hair
2 - Smooth Skin
3 - Glow
4 - Boobs
I had a guy who I've worked with come back from a long break (had a baby) and the first thing he said was "Woah you look great! You're like glowing, did you find Jesus or something?"
Quote from: MariaMx on July 02, 2013, 10:42:42 AM
I think the first thing people noticed was that I started to look gay. Super gay.
Yeah, what is up with that? I still haven't asked my friend, how do you
look gay?
@Maidoforleans, I remember a guy that kept telling me I was glowing and that I lit up the room when I came in. Kind of strange things to say to somebody you think is a guy, I guess, but it made me feel good of course :)
Quote from: Jen on July 02, 2013, 12:22:02 PM
Yeah, what is up with that? I still haven't asked my friend, how do you look gay?
I don't know, but everyone does think that they have a "gaydar," which is usually based on feminine mannerisms and having a feminine appearance.
And again, I got hit on by a gay guy at work a couple of months ago, so apparently I'm setting it off. Nobody has outright said anything, but a lot of my male co-workers have given me strange looks and said that I'm "weird," so they can definitely tell that something's up, they just haven't said anything about it yet.
Well you can get away with anything but they will notice.
During my teaching time (in the eighties) I got:
from the kids
You don't have much beard shadow
Nice tanga briefs sir (I was bent over and my trousers must have been thinner than I thought)
Your skin is very soft
from the Teachers
Do you pluck your eyebrows?
from anothr:
You pluck your eyebrows, manicure long nails, long hair, dye your hair, style your hair, Do you dress in womens clothes at night?
We are going to call you monsieur le bouf (for my bouffant hairdo)
I still thought I'd pretty much got away with it but when I went to leave the school, they held an assembly, as was the practice, to say goodbye.
I got cajoled into having rollers put in my hair (I protested but secretly thinking, yes please) and then pulled in front of all the kids. The head said Mr ---- is leaving but we've managed to find a suitable replacement. Then one of the fourteen year old girls walked into the hall wearing my jacket. She did actually look like me. It still cracks me up when I think about it, I was in stitches at the time.
Guess I hadn't got away with it, people probably had avoided me but I can't say it mattered or that I cared.
Least I didn't do what a TV friend did. He was a dentist and during lunch he realised he'd conducted his morning surgery with a suspender belt strap hanging out of his trousers.