Wow. I know it is just a small step, but it feels huge at the moment. Last night I came out to my sister. I have this fear that I am getting ahead of myself since I haven't even been approved for hrt yet, but I was starting to feel like I was going to explode.
My sister and I have always been super close and I trust her more than anyone. Still, I was worried sick about it and was in a bit of shock when I heard the words coming out of my mouth :) After a sort of surprised reaction (I think she thought I was joking at first), she was super supportive. We talked about it for a while, where I am in my transition, how long I have felt like this, about how mom and dad might react to the news, etc. She said I shouldn't feel embarrassed or nervous or anything, that it is not a big deal in her mind and that she had always wanted a younger sister anyway :) She also teased me a little saying that it explains a lot of things about me like how I'm the only one in the family that knows where to buy a summer scarf :laugh:
There are many more people that will have to know, and my sister was definitely always going to be the easiest person to tell, but it just feels sooo good to have told someone in my life.
Fantastic Honey!!!!
Welcome to Susan's and yes it is a big step and you should be very proud of yourself and of your sister.
A Mod who is organised will drift along and post a link to the rules etc.
But I'd like to welcome you.
I'm in Adelaide South Australia and you are very welcome
Hugs
Cindy
That's a big step girl. Being able to trust someone with that is huge and I'm glad she is showing you such a positive response
Congrats. :)
Great news Mary. Like to hear, that it went so well with your sister :-).
Thank everyone,
It's been two days since I told my sister and the adrenalin is only now starting to go back to normal ;D - I was so excited yesterday about it I wanted to tell someone else. Glad I didn't though. I think I will need to take the rest of the coming out stuff a bit slower just to be safe. I still have not told my SO, which is the most complicated part. We have been together for 6 years and I know she will not take it well. I guess I will make bigger effort after I know for certain I will be starting hormones. Though it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep this from her...
It's a really good thing that you've talked to your sister. But, it's also really important to say the truth to your SO. Even if you are not sure about taking hormones or not.
She shares your life. As for me, it's important to say what you are, what you think, what you need, etc.
Quote from: Samyra on July 05, 2013, 03:22:12 AM
It's a really good thing that you've talked to your sister. But, it's also really important to say the truth to your SO. Even if you are not sure about taking hormones or not.
She shares your life. As for me, it's important to say what you are, what you think, what you need, etc.
Everything you say is really true. I know. It just seems so complicated at the moment to me, so getting someone else's perspective is really very appreciated. My (over) thinking process is like this (sorry this will be long).
One one hand, I know I do owe it to her to be honest about this and the fact that I haven't told her really does cause me horrible stress and guilt. This will impact her life too, and unlike me, she has not had the fortune/misfortune?) to have an entire life time to obsess about it...
On the other hand, there are many factors which suggest to me that I need to wait.
The biggest thing for me at the moment, is that while I have made a firm decision that hrt is what I want, there are many other people in the medical community that need to make the final decision on if and when I will start hormones. I still need to finish my psych evaluation and have a number of medical tests done, etc. So, my plans could be derailed at any point in time. Also, I have no idea how long it will take to get the approval. I have this fear that it could take a year or more :( Also, I have had some health problems in the past, which are mostly fine now, but I am still afraid that they may exclude me from starting hrt or having srs. Because of this situation I currently have a lot more questions than answers, and I am sure that my SO needs and deserves answers not just about how I feel but also about what is to come.
One of my other concerns (mostly selfish I accept) is that I live in a small city and am one of a very small number of foreigners here. As a result, I am fairly well known. My SO also works part time in my office. This scares me a bit as I am afraid that telling my SO (particularly if she takes it badly) will lead to me getting outted in public much sooner than I would like or am prepared for :(
I really don't know what to do about this. I am just scared that all of this could blow up in my face, leaving me alone, ridiculed and still stuck in this horrible body :( My next sexologist appointment is in 18 days, so hopefully some of my questions will be answered then. But the waiting is horrible...
Mary
Mary, I'm so glad for you to have your sister's support. That is a great step indeed. Other steps? Maybe you can also discuss each step with her to help you quietly adjust within your community.
Good luck young girl, it will all work out in due time.
As for me, I choose to tell her the truth about me since we've started our relationship. Although there is risk, I prefer to let her the possibility to stay with me knowing everything.
I understand your argument Mary81. When I've said to her what's going on, she was very supportive. (Lucky me !) When I'm sad, I can talk with her, share my thoughs, and do this bring together closer. But, sometimes, she is sad because I truly don't know what I want. If I'll change, etc. So, she asks about our futur, questions that remain unanswered.
Longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to tell her. You have to weigh the pros and cons, especially that your situation does not make things easy.
At first, you can make small allusions to see her reaction.