Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: bethanyjadefowell on July 13, 2013, 04:38:01 PM

Title: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: bethanyjadefowell on July 13, 2013, 04:38:01 PM
I was in our club house tonight with my mum and her friends. Anyway to cut a story short, they think the singer that we have on tonight, use to be a man. Im so upset because my mum (with her friends) were making fun of the singer, because they think she use to be a man. I really thought my mum would not do something like that. I've have come home so upset.......
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: ZoeM on July 13, 2013, 04:39:46 PM
Does she know about you? If so, talk to her - maybe she didn't realize what she was doing hurt?
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: bethanyjadefowell on July 13, 2013, 04:43:09 PM
My mum knows i am changing my gender and has been supporting me since I started 11 months ago.
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: Devlyn on July 13, 2013, 04:43:56 PM
Big hug! Sorry, hon. Sometimes people really let us down. There's not much of a positive here other than you know what she's capable of, at least at this point. Be sure to express your disappointment, preferably when you've had time to think it over. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: Tristan on July 13, 2013, 07:21:54 PM
They not to take it so hard. Woman can be mean with words. Remember in girl world they don't fight or say things like ," so's your face" they use descriptive words that cut like a knife. She probably didn't mean to offend you
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: alexclusive on July 13, 2013, 07:54:47 PM
I understand. My mom has done and said similar things before. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it and she was just looking for a laugh from her friends. Typical women right? I know it hurts and its disappointing but just brush it off. If its really bothering you then confront her about it and let her know that it stung you a bit.
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: suzifrommd on July 14, 2013, 03:09:45 PM
Some otherwise fine people can have a blind spot toward how some of their actions can hurt the people around them.

Hugs from me.
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: Ltl89 on July 14, 2013, 11:42:46 PM
It's likely your mom felt awkward and didn't know how to react.  Maybe her friends started first and to prevent herself from getting sad or disclosing your info, maybe she felt it was easier to join in.  Perhaps I'm justifying it, but people can react strangely sometimes.  Look, if she is supporting you and has been there all along, don't let one stupid moment tarnish your image of her.  Sometimes people joke around and make fun of each other playfully without meaning any harm or offense.  I laugh and make jokes about my situation with my friends and people who are supportive of it.  So it depends on how it was said and where it comes from.  Was it done in a hostile way or joking friendly way?
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: Rachel on July 18, 2013, 05:42:35 PM
Hugs, sorry for you pain.
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: StellaB on July 18, 2013, 05:58:59 PM
I would take note but let it go. Sometimes in these sorts of situations what is important isn't what is said, but what isn't being said. There's usually a motive and reason behind everything people say and do. I have my own opinions here, but what do you think these reasons and motives are?

Has anything changed in the relationship between you and your mother since this event?

I say take note but let it go because this could be a one off due to peer pressure, in a club, after a couple of drinks. One of the effects of alcohol is that people say and do stupid things, usually when they're with friends.

But then again it might not, and if so then it will manifest itself again at some point at which point you could raise the issue and discuss it further.

I'm sorry you had to go through this.
Title: Re: My supporting mum or so I thought
Post by: bethanyjadefowell on July 19, 2013, 08:10:16 AM
Thanks to everyone, and for all the hugs. Everything is fine now :) But I have told my mum, if they want to talk about someone like us, even if they think they mean nothing bad, do it when I am not there...