I'm posting this here to see if any of you ladies have had a similar experience since I am new to being out in public en femme.
I was recently on the way to my therapist. I think i was dolled up pretty nicely and was wearing sunglasses (I posted a pic of what i looked like that day here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98870.msg1173631.html#msg1173631 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,98870.msg1173631.html#msg1173631)) I had to park a couple of blocks away and as i walked toward her office i passed several people. I noticed that each person seemed to give me a scrutinizing look. Also, a car passed on the street and i heard shouting and what sounded like cat calls (I did not turn to look at the persons doing this so it may have been something else altogether). I was a little rattled by the time i made it to her office. When i left i got the same looks from people and i could not get to my car fast enough.
So, being new to presenting female - do women normally attract this kind of attention? I found it unnerving to say the least. It seemed like everyone had positively clocked me, or that they saw a man in a dress/stubble. Or maybe this is just a fact of life for women?
~Eva
It sounds like your cute. Maybe have that natural type of beauty that some models have where they have good facial characteristics. It's normal if that's the case. Enjoy the good looks ;)
Tristan - thanks! You're pretty cute yourself.
I am mainly asking from a safety standpoint. If people are checking me out because i'm cute or women normally have to put up with gawkers that's one thing, but if my presentation is off and that's what they are looking at that's quite another and it represents a safety risk for me that i need to work on. I've only been out 3 times and two of those were in LGBT friendly areas where no one would pay attention anyway. This time seemed way different which is why i asked the question.
~Eva
This reminds me a great deal of how I was whenever I went out in the early days, which is a little over a year ago but it seems like ancient history already. I have ended up settling on the fact that I really don't know what anyone is thinking and unless they come right up to me and say something (and no-one has yet) I will assume they are checking out the athletic 6 foot blonde.
I found that the alternative was that I worked myself into a right state and ended up bolting for an exit (any exit) as quickly as I could.
Relax, enjoy the attention, you're gorgeous.
Rosie.
Welcome to womanhood.
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 14, 2013, 10:46:00 AM
Welcome to womanhood.
This ^.
That's how it is for me. Women look you up and down to compare or see what you have on. Men are just men and oogle at will. As women, we are always on display for everyone. It is a little unnerving at first. Men, for the most part just get glanced over. You will get used to it, eventually.
<3 Liv
Yeah I think your ok. If they were looking at you in a negative way normally they let it be known so they can try and make you feel bad.
But still hun I would carry a taser just in case ;)
I'm in Canada...can you send me a taser??
My old tricks used to be to pepper spray them...
Haha
Welcome to the Oogling :) ....On the brite side!!! You didn't almost cause an accident when you got out of your car and bent over to grab your purse... "Heya!!! OHHHhh Man look at that .. Ohhh yea."
sssSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!! SqueeeEEELLLLLL. horns blasting..
Looks at the floor wide eyed and bites her lower lip.... not that thats ever happened.
Love your hairdo .... next time before you go out lick your index finger and touch your bum.. if it ssSSSSSIZZZZZLEs expect more whistles and Hey Babys. LOL :D
Quote from: Lorri Kat on July 14, 2013, 01:59:27 PM
Welcome to the Oogling :) ....On the brite side!!! You didn't almost cause an accident when you got out of your car and bent over to grab your purse... "Heya!!! OHHHhh Man look at that .. Ohhh yea."
sssSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!! SqueeeEEELLLLLL. horns blasting..
Looks at the floor wide eyed and bites her lower lip.... not that thats ever happened.
Love your hairdo .... next time before you go out lick your index finger and touch your bum.. if it ssSSSSSIZZZZZLEs expect more whistles and Hey Babys. LOL :D
LOL! Thanks for the giggles Lorri! <3
Quote from: Olivia-Anne on July 14, 2013, 02:27:12 PM
LOL! Thanks for the giggles Lorri! <3
Yeah that. Exactly that.
Rosie.
Sometimes people stare at me a little too long. Or girls will pass and I'll catch them looking at me. I haven't had any bad expereinces yet but it is hard to tell if you are being clocked or if they just think you're cute or like your outfit or something. Women will talk to me a lot more now and just start conversating with me. Apparently my voice isn't that bad but I feel like I slip up sometimes. Sometimes it really bothers me and I am certain I got clocked. However I was out at the Checkers the other day and this girl was staring at me and I was all like "She knows!" and then she spoke and was like "Your hair is so beautiful and was super nice to me." Unless someone says something I would just assume they think you're cute or something along those lines.
A month into full time. I get stared at wherever I go. Not by everyone. I pass well enough that more than 90% don't react at all. But that still means that quite a few times a day I'll get all kinds of strange looks. Some people are clocking me. Some people are trying to figure out what's just a little off. Some people are wondering how such a plain face ended up on such a hot figure (yes I could/should dress more modestly, but, sorry, that's my style).
Quote from: Lorri Kat on July 14, 2013, 01:59:27 PM
Welcome to the Oogling :) ....On the brite side!!! You didn't almost cause an accident when you got out of your car and bent over to grab your purse... "Heya!!! OHHHhh Man look at that .. Ohhh yea."
sssSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!! SqueeeEEELLLLLL. horns blasting..
Looks at the floor wide eyed and bites her lower lip.... not that thats ever happened.
Ohhh... that's hilarious!!!! :laugh:
Thanks for the help ladies - i think i just need more experience out and about as Eva to gain some confidence. My therapist thinks so too and is encouraging me to do more as a girl because she thinks that's the real me. I still have a *lot* to learn and and 50 years of boy mode habits and mannerisms to undo. The staring thing never happens to me in boy mode and i found it quite unnerving - ya'll have helped me with that today :)
I get those looks all the time, and it scares me most the time. But I just go about my day. And just smile when cars go by and guys honk occasionally 8)
I still go out as a guy as best I can with a short/thin build and long hair and a somewhat andro face (I guess) and womens bottoms, and I get stared at all the time. Usually I try to ignore it, if he's cute I'll stare back.
It creeps me out when I get stared at by older guys (40s+), though I do it ALL the time to everyone else :P (Oh she's pretty/nice body (lucky B.. ;) )/nice hair, etc OR Oh, he's cute..)
I do remember getting out of my rather low slung sports car while wearing a mini and boots, a kid of about 15 saw me and I don't think he knew where to place his eyeballs, they were out on stalks Heeee Heeee.
I think he may have had an accident :embarrassed: :laugh:
My presentation tends to be a touch too obviously dyke to get too much attention from men, but it does happen and it took a while to get used to. On the plus side, I find women also look me over fairly frequently and at least some of them have to be lesbians.
Quote from: Cindy. on July 15, 2013, 04:27:47 AM
I do remember getting out of my rather low slung sports car while wearing a mini and boots, a kid of about 15 saw me and I don't think he knew where to place his eyeballs, they were out on stalks Heeee Heeee.
I think he may have had an accident :embarrassed: :laugh:
You're evil Cindy.. That's why I love ya sis...
When I first started my transition, I noticed people looking at me a lot more than before transition. They were probably clocking me, but I could never be a hundred percent sure one way or the other. When I stared back at them, they would continue to stare at me like I had unwittingly entered some kind of staring contest. A few moments later they would typically break their stare. These days it seems that no one really notices me anymore. I actually consider that a success of sorts.
Thread update.
I think that a trans friend figured it out for me tonight, and it was quite obvious.
I'm 5'8" tall and I had on 3" heels that day.
They were staring because I was a tall girl.
It never occurred to me to think about my height en femme since for all of my life i've been shorter than a lot of other guys. The scale is different now that i'm sticking a toe into the female world.
Sometimes it's the obvious things that get by us.
Hmm, well that's not that tall. I'm 5'6 and most girls all taller then me. And some girls wear heals a lot, too much if you ask me. I'll never understand the fascination. Unless they are Louboutins. Then OMG I'm in love. Maybe if you feel self-conscious now you could just rock kitten heels instead.