When I was younger I was adamant that I wouldn't ever have children. When one of my teachers became a sort of father role model I realised that maybe I could be a parent, that I'd learned how to be a good parent from him, but I wanted to be a father figure. I was still mostly against having children because I would be a "mother" (how strange that word sounds in relation to me...). I'd just kind of resigned myself to the fact that children weren't something I was going to face, and was almost relieved when I came out to people as a lesbian because then I wouldn't be possible to have a child (other than IVF/adoption of course, and that seems the exception rather than the rule in the lesbian couples I know. At the time I didn't know any gay couple with a child, except for a bisexual woman who'd had a kid in a previous relationship.).
Now I'm catching myself smiling when I see fathers and their children because I know I'll be doing that myself one day. I'll be carrying my kid down the road to whatever village activity is going on, or playing football in the park (if my girlfriend ever teaches me how lol), and being the parent who encourages his kids to climb trees and get filthy despite his wives protests. Okay, that's all a bit idyllic, and naive, and it's going to be more of fights to get them to do homework and fretting about what troubles they might be in when they turn into a moody teenager and don't talk to us anymore. But I can imagine myself having children now I've worked out which parent I'm supposed to be, while I never could before.
I just wondered if it's a common thing. I think now I'm more pro-children than my girlfriend now -- not that it's something that's going to happen any time soon! -- whilst for a long time it was the other way around. And no, I'm not broody in a maternal sense in anyway shape or form. I couldn't care less about whether I pass on my genes (better off without them), and the thought of birthing... let's not go there.
Quote from: AlexanderC on July 14, 2013, 05:11:00 PM
But I can imagine myself having children now I've worked out which parent I'm supposed to be, while I never could before.
I can relate to this. I don't want kids at all - but now I can sorta understand why people would beyond blind biological responsibility because I have the freedom of looking at it from another perspective
I think it's natural to start warming up to children when you get older, your biological clock starts ticking (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J-2EIvItVY#).
Sometimes I catch myself wanting kids, it seems kind of nice to shape a little young mind while they're young and hope they'll turn out alright, but eh. . . having 4 much younger siblings, taking care of 20+ foster children, taking care of my baby niece. . . yeah, those experiences snap me out of it pretty quickly.
Ditto. I did not think I would have kids but as I warmed to trans-ness I realized the strong urge to be a wonderful father.
I can imagine being father, but not a mother. If you've seen the Aliens films, that's basically how I view motherhood.
Quote from: Mosaic dude on July 25, 2013, 01:34:41 AM
If you've seen the Aliens films, that's basically how I view motherhood.
I'm right with you on that XD
I could see myself being a father
figure, just not a dad, especially not a biological one. Part of that comes from my worry about passing on my plethora of health issues, along with the fact that I would end up being one of the kids instead of a big, responsible adult. I'd much rather be the crazy uncle who lets the kids play with tesla coils in the lab and all, but if a kid showed up at my doorstep, I would certainly take them in and do the best I can.
Quote from: Mosaic dude on July 25, 2013, 01:34:41 AM
I can imagine being father, but not a mother. If you've seen the Aliens films, that's basically how I view motherhood.
Hahaha, that's the best description of it ever.
I'm still against having kids, but only moderately so, and I could see myself changing my mind later and adopting. Like Liminal Stranger, I wouldn't want to saddle any human being with my health issues (thanks, genetics!) and I don't want to go through all the prep it would require to do so anyway.