I finally got all my paperwork to have srs.. I am planning on having my vagina installed in January.. yay
and now all the excitement was sucked out of it :-(
I have always identified myself a lesbian, before hrt and even during it.. never even been attracted to guys I have dated a few lesbians casually
before,but my pre-op status complicated things.
Anyways about 8 months back, one of my friends, guy friend needed a date for a function, anyways I agreed as I love dressing up.
We hit it off and we started dating, feelings developed and now he is actually my boyfriend. I enjoy been the female in the relationship
and he treats me like a lady and I feel very special. I love it when holds me in a bear hug.. Receiving flowers for the first time was a special experience.
Also I love having someone to make myself pretty for.
He has no problem with me been a pre-op transexual, we have even slept together.
I pass very well, 2 and half years of hrt has given me nice breasts, smooth feminine skin and a curvy body. So the world sees me as young woman
anyways the excitement been sucked out part......
He is now upset with me that I am going through with HRT.. he says loves me just the way I am... I have explained to him, that I am
woman, i now completing my transition will allow my to have the correct physical body for my gender.
He says he is confused about his sexuality, and dating me is kinda the best of both worlds.. the world sees him as straight, but really
his partner has a penis. He says why do I need the vagina, i cant have children anyway.. so yes we have a nice fight. I told him you better
think about your sexuality, either you are gay or not, but I am not letting go of my dream, because he is confused.
so the night ended with me in tears after he left..
My roommate had to comfort me, but her and i did end up sitting together eating cookie dough.. (a real girly moment).
So what do you girls think.. I am right not to want to give up my dream.. as my roommate says.. there are plenty of fish in sea. I know
I will have break up with him..
Maybe now I will identify myself as bi-sexual.
He needs to wake up. Sexuality should not play into your relationship if there are strong feelings beyond those of sex. You are still you and your feelings are genuine. The question is why is he in the relationship as he had to know that this was a possibility?
I am sorry that you are going through this. I too look forward to companionship and a meaningful relationship. And I am hoping that your boy friend wakes up and accepts this. :)
Noleen
If you are like me, I do not want to be left incomplete and want to fully transition as it is what I have always wanted and needed. SRS will be required for me just as it is for you.
Don't let other peoples issues get in the way of what you know you need to do. Just because he is confused and has issues, how is that your issue? It's not.
If he want you not to get SRS, your dream, then he obviously does not understand or care for you.
If he does not understand this then there would be little point in continuing the relationship, sorry.
Keep your focus on January and what the new year will bring, happiness.
From what you say perhaps you have discovered something new through the experience that was unexpected about yourself?
Your roommate is also right, cookie dough is the perfect solution.
She is wise.
Good luck and hugs J
Hon, I think You were bi for Your entire life, except You never admitted that to Yourself :). Please take no offence but I am just saying my thought, because I am now struggling with changes in my own sexuality and they sort of relate to Your concerns ;).
As for Your - shall we call him ex? - apparently he is struggling with his own sexuality. If it is so important for him to be seen as straight in the eyes of public, then Your SRS would just make it legit 100%. So what is his problem? He likes Your lower part (You did not mention that so I wont touch upon this sensitive issue - no pun intended) or he just gets those thrills? I am getting impression that he was just another type of ->-bleeped-<- - the genuinely interested one, loving, understanding, not into one night stands, but nevertheless attracted to pre-op transgirls. In that case, this was a dead-end relationship and You can only cry it out :(.
If he's only with you for your penis, and would leave you if you changed it, the guy sounds kinda like a dick.
Your bf is confused. He's the one with the issue, not you. He needs to decide what he wants. If he can't accept you, for who you are... move on.
As much fun as it might be to have a bf, if he can not accept you for you I have but two words. Dump Him
Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on July 19, 2013, 10:55:45 AM
As much fun as it might be to have a bf, if he can not accept you for you I have but two words. Dump Him
Almost exactly what I'd say...
EJECT EJECT EJECTHe is trying to control you, woman! Having SRS was always your dream...but now this sweet-talkin' man comes along and tries to kill it, and all for HIS benefit.
Jeez, what a cad! A good man will accept you however you are, AND will help you realize your dreams, no ifs, ands, or buts. He has now shown what's in his heart...send him on his way, and "keep your eyes on the prize!"
Noleen,
It's always nice for a transgendered person to have someone in their life that loves and appreciates them, and there is no guarantee that there will be anyone else in the future, we have to face that as a possible reality. But I do agree with the others, you can't give up your dream to please someone else who obviously has their own issues and is selfishly trying to manipulate you this way. If you and I were both Christians we'd probably agree that this is the machinations of the devil trying to put a shunt in your life's desires. You know what you have to do honey, good luck we're all on your side here.
Thanks ladies for your responses
Well me and my now Ex boyfriend had a talk last night about our fight and my srs.
He said he was sorry about how her reacted and he really does support me, and wants to be happy. I encouraged me to complete my transition.
he said the fight was his fault and he has major issues to sort out, one of them being he might be gay. I actually told him i think he is.
We actually spoke for like 3 hours.
We then decided rather to split up now, as this will be an issue later on, especially if it turns out he is gay.. then we will be more deeper invested in this relationship and we will end up hurting each other.
We said the standard breakup stuff, like we can be friends etc..
so that ends that.. I now can say i have an ex boyfriend..
I am happy with our decision, a little sad, but i will get over that.. got my srs to focus on... cant wait to wake up with a vagina between my legs. once healed then i can find someone to test it out with ;)
Yay! I'm so glad for you...and for him. It's best for both of you.
*hugs* to you and to him (Takes a big man to own up to his errors)