I posted months and months ago about a friend I liked, so I told her but she didn't feel the same. We're really close friends and we trust each other a lot. The thing is, I told her back in January and we spoke about it a lot and it didn't change anything and it wasn't awkward at all. But now I still have the same feelings. She said she can tell when I do, but she hasn't brought it up and neither have I. I know it won't wreck our friendship if I did tell her, but I just don't want to go through that rejection again. I cried like a baby last time haha (who said men can't cry ;) ). I've been spending a lot of time with her lately and I know she loves me as a friend. I just can't cope with seeing her and feeling crushed. I don't want to stop seeing her (this was something we discussed mutually last time) but I don't know how to deal with this. Do I tell her again to get it off my chest, or do I keep it to myself? It hurts like mad though.
It seems like it's only going to keep eating you up until you tell her. I would say tell her, and just listen. By the looks of it, it's doubtful you'll lose that friendship, so there's not much to lose.
If you have talked to her about this before, then she is already aware of your feelings. I would hate to say anything wrong here, but telling her your feelings again isn't going to change things if she doesn't feel the same. You can bring it up, but I don't want you to go into something with high expectations. What I do find interesting is that you are having a difficult time just being friends. Do you think you can handle that or do you feel you need space? If you feel you need space, I would definitely tell her out of respect. I hope it all goes well. :)
OK, I'll give it to you straight, since you asked.
You're a worthy guy, someone who will make some girl very lucky. But what lucky girl deserves you?
I don't know, but I do know she must, must, must appreciate what a great guy you are. Anyone who doesn't, simply isn't worth your time and energy.
So my advice is to stop letting this girl live rent-free in your head and heart, and go find someone who knows what a prize you are. Put your efforts into putting her behind you and finding the girl who is right for you.
I know this is hard to hear, Joey, but it's the best advice I got.
Thanks for the advice everyone. Yeah I know she doesn't feel the same, we're as open as can be with each other that's why part of me hates hiding this and the way I feel.
Quote from: learningtolive on July 31, 2013, 11:59:06 PM
What I do find interesting is that you are having a difficult time just being friends. Do you think you can handle that or do you feel you need space? If you feel you need space, I would definitely tell her out of respect.
I feel I need space, but I know it won't help anything. We tried space before but we both couldn't handle it. I don't want to lose her asa friend and i know I won't, but I don't want us to drift apart if I say I need space. It's not fair on her if I just stop talking to her as I'm one of her closest friends. We see each other a lot, and talk a lot of nights online. It's just hard.
QuoteI don't know, but I do know she must, must, must appreciate what a great guy you are. Anyone who doesn't, simply isn't worth your time and energy.
No, she does appreciate me. She tells me how great I am and stuff all the time. I don't want to portray her as bad because she's not.And without sounding big headed, she knows how nice I am and comes to me if she ever needs to talk or someone to understand her. I think I'm just in the friend zone and highly doubt I'm going to get out. But to be honest, I'd rather have her as a friend and like her, than lose her altogether. It's hard. I really appreciate all of your advice though and thank you for being honest.