For a long time, I wished I was born female and I always rejected that I was trans out of fear. Now that I've embraced it, I feel much happier that I can become the woman I've always felt like on the inside. One thing that still bothers me sometimes is how I wish I had actually been born a girl. It bothers me that I'll never get to experience having a period or being pregnant and giving birth to my own child. I know that's something I cannot possibly change even when i transition so I shouldn't let it get to me as much as it does, but I can't help it. I want to be able to let this go and be happy with who I am and try to see that I had to go through this for a reason, but I'm finding it hard to do so.
You can look at it this way: Your journey is worth appreciating thus far because you only have the perspective that you have now as a result of what you've experienced. Therefore, you'll really savor being a woman and the things that this entails, whereas cis women can't help but take it all for granted (they've never known anything different).
Quote from: Magnolia88 on August 01, 2013, 02:56:20 AMIt bothers me that I'll never get to experience having a period or being pregnant and giving birth to my own child.
I hope that you don't think that this makes you any less of a woman because there are some cis women who also cannot have periods or get pregnant.
I have been on this side of the fence nearly 40 years and there are some things I have NEVER gotten over - not having children is the biggest! From earliest childhood I just wanted to get married and be a mommy, by 14 I knew it wasn't going to happen, and I lived with considerable pain while those around me were having children and raising their families. Now in my 60s I should have grandchildren but I don't.
There are jut some things about this life that you can't change, EVER, and you just have to live with them.
Hun i have been on that same side of the fence as you for 28 long years. Now at 29 and trying to get back on hormones i too have a ton of fears. Plus i know how you feel about the period, baby and pregnancy thing cuz im there too. Hell if they ever look for people for experimental uterine transplant surgeries i would make sure im the 5th in line so they hopefully have any kinks worked out.
I have always wished that I was born a natal girl. I even have gone to the extreme of saying that I would gladly take the whole package even if it meant having periods, cramps, bloating, being seen as a object instead of a person, and even giving birth. I know some people that I told that to thought that I was crazy but you know what when you really want something then that means that you are willing to sacrafice or endure everything that come along with it. I tend to tell people that I'm female irregardless of any equipment that I may or may not have. Or thing that I know which had helped is that being only hormones has really helped me to relax and at peace.
This is part of a post I made in March under my old account.
"...This all goes back to the worst aspect of my dysphoria. Being a complete woman starts as a girl, having that first period, growing into a new body as a teenager, becoming a grown woman, falling in love, having the experience of climaxing sex, getting pregnant, bearing a child, and lovingly nursing an infant that grew inside me. That's what I've missed, and I'm finally learning to deal with it."
I still feel a little left out at times, but it's fading. And some of the girlfriends say I haven't finished grieving for the little girl I never was, and her becoming the woman I wished to be.
K
I pray for the peace to accept my reality.
I'm not really religious, so I pray to my inner spirit, which seems to work just as well.
Yes I've also felt like that but you know what? I look around myself and feel damn lucky to have been born trans.
I could have been born premature and not survived.
I could have been born a girl in China and been secretly murdered by my parents who wanted a boy.
I could have been born a girl somewhere in the Middle East and married off as a child by my parents against my will.
I could have been born a girl somewhere in Africa and had my clitoris mutilated.
I could have been born a girl somewhere in the east of the Ukraine and raped by my father at puberty so no other man could take my virginity.
I could go on, but I guess you can get my drift.
Sure, I wasn't born a woman with the ability to conceive, but there's nothing to stop me from having SRS surgery or adopting children. Even if there is there's still people out there who will accept me and my brand of unconditional love.
"Don't wish it away, don't look at it like it's forever..
Between you and me, I could honestly say
That things can only get better..."
Elton John 'I guess that's why they call it the blues'.
I hate kids, and I think you have no idea what ur telling by u wanna have period. When I hear my gg friends complain and moan about the pain, no thanks. I'm good as I am. And I am a nympho. I love sex without falling pregnant by accident. So everything is fine and perfect.
Quote from: Northern Jane on August 01, 2013, 06:34:30 AM
There are jut some things about this life that you can't change, EVER, and you just have to live with them.
This is exactly how you should look at it. I used hope and pray I had been born a girl. And it took me a while to realize it but I was born a girl. I'm just different and I accept that! I don't look at it as a birth defect I look at it as just who I am.
Sure it hurts sometimes that I'll never carry a child and be a mother but I have to live with that. The body I was born into is very athletic and tall and everyday when I go to the gym I have short bald guys look at me with such envy. It makes me realize they would give anything to be my height my build. But you know what they can't and they have to learn to live with that. The same way I have to live with the fact I can't have children.
Life isn't about being born with everything you've ever wanted. Life is about taking what you have and making the best of it. And that's what I'm doing I'm making the best of it.
You can get over not being born in the right body when you learn to work with what you have. ;)
Quote from: Evolving Beauty on August 01, 2013, 11:18:05 AM
I hate kids, and I think you have no idea what ur telling by u wanna have period. When I hear my gg friends complain and moan about the pain, no thanks. I'm good as I am. And I am a nympho. I love sex without falling pregnant by accident. So everything is fine and perfect.
I like you. While yes, I might feel incomplete sometimes, I don't need a period or a uterus to be a woman. Not having to deal with birth control seems, like you said, "fine and perfect"
Thank you all for the responses. I do understand that not being able to do those things doesn't make me less of a woman and that many cis women go through the same thing. It's just something I've always wanted and it sucks that I'll never get it but you guys have helped me be more okay with that.
Quote from: StellaB on August 01, 2013, 11:00:12 AM
Sure, I wasn't born a woman with the ability to conceive, but there's nothing to stop me from having SRS surgery or adopting children. Even if there is there's still people out there who will accept me and my brand of unconditional love.
:'( Actually I am pretty much stuck in circumstances that will prevent me from having SRS :'( and the worst part is I had the money once but the opportunity was taken away :'( I really would have like the same as she said
Magnolia,
Maybe I'm not the best person to respond to this as I honestly don't wish that I was born physically female.
However, I can say that if I never lived as a man, I wouldn't be the same woman that I am right now; I'd be someone else. This other woman might genetically be me but she wouldn't have the same life as me, she'd be someone else. Who knows? Maybe she'd be a perfectly happy cis female? Maybe she'd still have to contend with her gender identity and transition into a man? It doesn't really matter because living my life has made me who I am today.
We can waste our time worrying about what could have been or we can make something of our lives right now. I still have hopes and dreams but instead of wondering what could have been, I'm working towards making those hope and dreams a reality.
I don't know if I helped at all but sooner or later you'll need to learn to live with the fact that you weren't born physically female if you really want to be happy. Otherwise, you'll always be miserable.
Amy
How to get over not being born female?
All of us are born female (mtf). Society dictated we act a certain way which is incorrect and which we are taking care of.
How to get over not having the typical female, XX experience? You deal with it, to be blunt. How does a girl deal with being anemic? Being born blind, or with tourettes syndrome? You live every day as you please, doing things that make you happy. My advice to you would be to "own it," as they say. Own your insecurity. Be at peace with yourself.
"Its just the way she goes"
Thanks everyone for sharing thoughts and comments of how to deal with not being born female, I look at this way I was born female just that I have male body and I accept that as best as I can , oh for sure I wished had been born with female body either way inside I am a female
Quote from: Magnolia88 on August 01, 2013, 02:56:20 AM
For a long time, I wished I was born female and I always rejected that I was trans out of fear. Now that I've embraced it, I feel much happier that I can become the woman I've always felt like on the inside. One thing that still bothers me sometimes is how I wish I had actually been born a girl. It bothers me that I'll never get to experience having a period or being pregnant and giving birth to my own child. I know that's something I cannot possibly change even when i transition so I shouldn't let it get to me as much as it does, but I can't help it. I want to be able to let this go and be happy with who I am and try to see that I had to go through this for a reason, but I'm finding it hard to do so.
Magnolia, there are many ciswomen that will never have a child. Many girls with reproductive problems that may never experience a period and so on. as for getting a period and what ciswomen say, it sux. As for getting pregnant, its very uncomfortable. As for giving birth, like Joan Rivers said, pull your bottom lip over the top of your head to experience the feeling. You can still be a mother though and there are many children needing adoption that will melt your heart just as much as your own would.
easy, that'd be boring.
I never hated being trans as much as most other people I've spoken to. Sure I may never have a period....but at least I don't bleed on my underwear once a month...that would seriously irritate me...
and I may never go through teenage adolescence as a cisgendered female, but I do get to go through a similar process by my own hand....I am in control of it...the chemicals, the doses.....and to see the result and know it was all of my own doing, gives me a serious sense of accomplishment
and another amazing thing, is that I have now lived under the male and female subcultures.....and that is a pretty amazing thing. I understand people, my culture, and the world just a little bit better from having been on both sides of the fence
Quote from: Oriah on August 03, 2013, 09:29:35 PM
and another amazing thing, is that I have now been lived under the male and female subcultures.....and that is a pretty amazing thing. I understand people, my culture, and the world just a little bit better from having been on both sides of the fence
I think a lot of us spend so much time thinking of the negatives of being trans they forget how lucky we are too. Most people will never know what it's like for the other gender. :)
Quote from: Oriah on August 03, 2013, 09:29:35 PM
I never hated being trans as much as most other people I've spoken to. Sure I may never have a period....but at least I don't bleed on my underwear once a month...that would seriously irritate me...
and I may never go through teenage adolescence as a cisgendered female, but I do get to go through a similar process by my own hand....I am in control of it...the chemicals, the doses.....and to see the result and know it was all of my own doing, gives me a serious sense of accomplishment
and another amazing thing, is that I have now been lived under the male and female subcultures.....and that is a pretty amazing thing. I understand people, my culture, and the world just a little bit better from having been on both sides of the fence
Quote from: Heather on August 03, 2013, 09:51:54 PM
I think a lot of us spend so much time thinking of the negatives of being trans they forget how lucky we are too. Most people will never know what it's like for the other gender. :)
I guess neither of you have as much of the ache for a child or pregnancy that some of us have - seriously , every time I see another female either pregnant or with a child or worse yet nursing I ache and tear up. This has torn me apart my entire life.
Quote from: vegie271 on August 03, 2013, 11:44:50 PM
I guess neither of you have as much of the ache for a child or pregnancy that some of us have - seriously , every time I see another female either pregnant or with a child or worse yet nursing I ache and tear up. This has torn me apart my entire life.
Trust me I feel that way too but I know I can never get pregnant so I'm trying to learn to accept it. I really try not to dwell on it to much because it's a negative thought and can make me feel horrible about myself. :'(
Hi,
Some of us are not trans , yet we are female just not compleate ,& can not have that expreance of haveing our own child , part of our makeup is just that no womb so we know what its like for women who can not have children because of many different reasons,
yes it comes up for myself in Dejarn our grandchild because from birth she has been very close to me over the 10 y 8 m, she is like she is mine just i could not give birth to her, yes it hurts .
There is one detail though. we have 3 grown up adults with 10 grand kids, even so we Jos and i would not have them had i been born compleat, so we may have disadvantages yet we have advantages so i see it from that point,
I dont look at the what if i look at what we have, & have been blessed with,
...noeleena...