Hi,
I'm Amy a new girl to the TG community, and starting to explore the depths of TG feelings. I am born male masculine expression to the world and like many, having feelings from an early age of gender awkwardness, and used shame, religion, karma, fear and denial to repress any identification I had with feminity. After 33 years, I am just tired of repressing and need to see how deep the rabbit hole goes to find a level of balance.
I started my early life playing mostly with girls till about ten, started hanging out with guys as my closest friends. Then puberty hit, felt attracted to girls romantically and physically, but on some level wanted my body to parallel their development. I found some outlets such as roll-playing games and crossdressing, but always took a step back when I felt like I was going to out myself. Well, after a series of emotinally taxing life events I let it slip to my therapist, who ended up being very sympathetic.
I don't want to change too much about my life by risking a great group of friends, family and one very special woman. Nor do I know what gender balance looks like. I am in no hurry to make any drastic changes, just trying to find the gender expression sweet spot.
I look forward to learing from everybody here, wish all of you the best.
Lots of Love,
Amy
Welcome to the site mam! :)
A warm welcome to you , Amy! :)
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Jump right in with both feet.
Welcome to Susan's Place airamyb, we are so glad you are here!
Welcome Amy! :)
I was much the same way growing up and into adulthood as you are. Though I can tell you that it's very liberating to finally be able to go out into the world as your true self. ;D
Quote from: airamyb on August 05, 2013, 01:12:14 AM
need to see how deep the rabbit hole goes...
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but another member (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,145530.0.html) beat you to it. ;)
Also
Amy ;)
Hi Amy, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 6925. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Hi Amy and welcome to friends who are very supportive
Thank you for the sweet enthusiastic welcome. Having people use my feminine name for the first time, brought a smile to face. ;D
Hi Amy! I'm a Canadian girl very close to your age (32) who, after a lifetime of excuses, is also taking her first steps. Looks pretty deep down that rabbit hole, doesn't it?.
I've been here a few weeks and have found this site to be an incredible wealth of support and information. You've come to the right place!
Maddy
Hi Amy, welcome to Susan's Place! I live near Boston. Glad you found the site! Hugs, Devlyn
Welcome Amy,
The concept of "balance" may serve you very well. You clearly seem to understand some of the depth and impacts of a transgender journey and finding the sweet spot vs having a definite destination could make your path more flexible, interesting and rewarding. Specific expectations can be specifically disappointing for some. Get ready for revelations you might not expect about yourself.
Hugs and good luck
Tessa
Thanks again all,
Maddy, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey, that hole looks very deep indeed, but sometimes you just have to do what the good Doctor and his companion would do and jump right in with a good "Geronimo" to find how much.
Tessa, the last 6 months of self-awareness have been revealing, liberating and disappointing sometimes all at once. Exploring my TG feelings prompted me to think about whats truly important in my life and how I define myself. Moreover, changed my views on issues, perceptions and prejudices I would have ignored before, I know for the better. At this point, I am taking the gradual approach, I've never been the type to act rashly, but I am grateful for the journey and trying to define balance, whatever that looks like.
Devlyn, thank you for the hugs.
Love and hugs from the Western USA.
Amy