Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Shana-chan on August 07, 2013, 04:04:05 AM

Title: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Shana-chan on August 07, 2013, 04:04:05 AM
Is it wrong to tell people online that your gender is the opposite of your body without telling them your transgendered or your situation? See many months ago I had joined a new forum and due to one of the members calling me a she and at the time I had honestly made up my mind and such about my gender I went along with it. Said I was a she even though my body was not. Many could see this as being deceiving especially since I didn't tell them I was transgendered or my situation. Is it wrong to do that? Is it wrong to want to be treated like a woman? Because of a friend and a troll making me re-question myself I wasn't able to keep calling myself a girl anymore. I felt bad and told them something else to cover my tracks. (It worked) Now I'm to the point where I want to go back to what I had lost there. Sure I'm still treated the same for the most part. The only time is when my gender is brought up which is usually ok since they're just curious if I really am female or not but I still miss those does. Now I refer to myself as They or their etc. It was so much better and somewhat easier when I called myself a female. So I want the honest truth on what you all think on this matter and why you think it's right or wrong etc.?

Lastly, say you could pass as either gender or the gender opposite of what your body is. Would it be wrong to tell people you're a female if your body is male or if you've transitioned so you became a female but your body used to be male (And vice versa), is it wrong to not tell them that and just say you're female? Should we have too? I really hope MANY members here will post their answers/belief here since it'd REALLY help me out. Also, thank you for your time and help.  Oh and sorry if this has already been brought up before.

EDIT: Sorry forgot to say, for all of the above, if the females had a females only place, would that still be wrong in any of the above to not tel them you're transgendered and your situation?
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Danielle Emmalee on August 07, 2013, 06:47:48 AM
I don't think you have to tell people about you being born in the wrong body any more than you would have to tell people you have cancer or diabetes.  You are not lying if you tell them you are female if you really are female.  The body you were born in does not decide your gender.  Its not being deceptive at all.  I think its important to tell someone if you are getting into a serious relationship with them otherwise its really nobody's business if you don't want it to be.
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: SaveMeJeebus on August 07, 2013, 06:51:48 AM
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be who you want to be, and I don't think you are deceiving anyone either. If you are talking to someone one to one, then it's your choice whether or not you want you inform them. Talking to everyone in general, i think it's none of their business.
As for this so called friend that's making you re-question yourself. What hell? What friend does that? :/
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Edge on August 07, 2013, 10:29:53 AM
It is not anyone's business what is in your pants unless they want to get in them. It is also no one's business what you had in your diaper. Keeping this information private if you wish is not "deceiving" anyone. That is a story told by transphobic people who are creepily obsessed with other people's private parts to spread distrust and hate.
As for women's only spaces, women should be allowed to be there. Trans women are women. Once again, one's rights to keep private parts private should be respected.
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: aleon515 on August 07, 2013, 12:31:13 PM
I don't know why you have to tell people anything unless you plan to sleep with them (to be blunt). I don't know why it would be WRONG to tell someone either. Actually way before I passed I got a new FB acct where I put my gender identity on it and my preferred name when only a handful of people called me that. You're not lying because it is who you are. As for women's space, you are a woman. If someone doesn't want you in womens' space they are transphobic, but you don't need to tell them anything.

--Jay
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on August 07, 2013, 03:15:11 PM
We ARE who we are, and if what you pee out of is not what they expected, too damned bad eh.

For one thing, your body's sex organ, it only matters if you plan to have sex with it eh.

Online forum I also tell people I am 19, as I have nothing but mainly disgust for most of my demographic.

So yeah, I am 19 and a female until I say otherwise :)

The only people that have better levels of information, have had to earn it first.
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Yuki-jker86 on August 07, 2013, 03:33:29 PM
I was identified male at birth, I have lived my life identified as a male.

I have not once, ever, in my entire life, told somebody I am a man.
It's not something we need to tell people on a day to day basis. People look at me and assume I am a man because of how I look and how I present.

many forums have an option to not specify gender.

In my view, telling people we are female, when they are not ever likely to see us or meet us in person, is just fine.  because it is our nature, to be female in our personality and how we feel inside. on the computer, this is the only part of us that we are using to interact. to say to a person that they are interacting with a female, is in our case, wholly accurate.
on the internet, out body is irrelevant.
Title: Re: Question about telling people your gender without telling them everything
Post by: Shana-chan on August 21, 2013, 02:41:19 PM
Thank you all SOOO much! :) I dunno, guess maybe it's because of how Society has made me feel as to why I felt any guilt or whatever for saying I'm female when my body isn't but I'm starting to over come that along with over coming the damage that was done to me when I was made to "re-question" myself. Thank you all again. :)