I was cycling today, wearing my usual slim-fit jeans, small size blouse under loose sleeveless hoodie (everything in very much gender neutral colors), my semi-short :P hair was tied back, when another lady, who was apparently lost, waived to me and when I stopped and pulled earphones out, she started the conversation by "Miss???". Of course, when I opened my mouth that ruined first impression, but I did not make any remarks about my gender :P.
I think I am on the right track then.
Oh, and yesterday I was jogging, it was pretty late and I was in my "safe" (gender neutral) T-shirt and shorts. I was passing four guys in late teens and I know there was nobody else around, but about 10 secs later there was some cheering and stupid whistling behind me - I did not turn around to check it out, but anyway...
Congrats Emily, Don't it feel good? Definately on the right track. As for the teens, you should have turned around and blown them a kiss. ;D
congrats also. the teens may have been derisive or being strangley complimentary in a round about way.
I know how you feel its a grate feeling
was wafting for a bus a few weeks ago and when it came a guy that was stood there looked at me and said lady's first sinces this time have been addressed as miss a few times when out
Congrats.
By the way, I noticed that people called me 'Madam' instead of Miss when I traveled abroad. In this case, my age matters?
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on August 10, 2013, 12:13:19 PM
Congrats.
By the way, I noticed that people called me 'Madam' instead of Miss when I traveled abroad. In this case, my age matters?
barbie~~
Well, in fact that was not exactly "Miss", but rather "Young woman" (yeah, language specificities) ;)
Those teens (17-19 y.o.) saw my side view for about 2 secs - and I mostly pass from that point, afterwards, all they could see was my... behind :P.
As your appearance gets more feminine you may notice that on personal contact the voice doesn't matter as much. I'm never misgendered by voice except on the phone. Then I just correct them and say I'm a woman with a deep voice.
And congratulations!
There is a wonderful feeling when you realise that it is all coming together!
Cindy
Quote from: barbie on August 10, 2013, 12:13:19 PM
Congrats.
By the way, I noticed that people called me 'Madam' instead of Miss when I traveled abroad. In this case, my age matters?
barbie~~
I think it may be because, being a professor like you are and everything, you fall into the super double plus posh category in which case madam would always be used.
Rosie
YAY
:D
Quote from: Rosie on August 10, 2013, 02:14:22 PM
the super double plus posh category
What ??? ???
barbie~~
Quote from: barbie on August 10, 2013, 02:46:11 PM
What ??? ???
barbie~~
If I am not mistaken that means extra respect for You given Your social and academic status :)
Quote from: -Emily- on August 10, 2013, 07:07:15 AM
Oh, and yesterday I was jogging, it was pretty late and I was in my "safe" (gender neutral) T-shirt and shorts. I was passing four guys in late teens and I know there was nobody else around, but about 10 secs later there was some cheering and stupid whistling behind me - I did not turn around to check it out, but anyway...
That kind of reaction used to happen when I lived in a big city, but here in my hometown where the population size is about 0.5 million is different.
When I run outdoors, my colleagues, friends, students, and other acquaintances quickly recognize me, although I always wear a hat and a mask to hide my face from the sun. Even a restaurant owner recognized me so well, although I visited his restaurant just twice. He greeted me saying like "Yesterday, I saw you running nearby". I once complained this fact to one of my colleagues, and he replied like "There are very few people who run outdoors with long hairs and a tall height like you. How can people fail to recognize you?" Even my former colleague happened to be in Frankfurt airport where all kind of human species walk around, and he pinpointed me after just watching my back appearance.
No privacy at all in my hometown, and passing is meaningless.
barbie~~
Congrats! :)
Quote from: -Emily- on August 10, 2013, 07:07:15 AM
I was cycling today, wearing my usual slim-fit jeans, small size blouse under loose sleeveless hoodie (everything in very much gender neutral colors), my semi-short :P hair was tied back, when another lady, who was apparently lost, waived to me and when I stopped and pulled earphones out, she started the conversation by "Miss???". Of course, when I opened my mouth that ruined first impression, but I did not make any remarks about my gender :P.
I think I am on the right track then.
Oh, and yesterday I was jogging, it was pretty late and I was in my "safe" (gender neutral) T-shirt and shorts. I was passing four guys in late teens and I know there was nobody else around, but about 10 secs later there was some cheering and stupid whistling behind me - I did not turn around to check it out, but anyway...
Whoop whoop ;D
(I think you did turn around and waved :P)
Emily, congrats, that first time makes you want to jump for joy! You want to share this with someone & you have a place here. The first time it happened for me was in a big box hardware store, a staff member, said Ma'am can I assist you in finding something," and I did need some help. I have been Ma'am-ed a few time since. I am in the same spot as you that I don't have a female voice, so late in life & I didn't expect to get as far as I have to develop a femme voice when out in public. I have gotten the same response Cindy mentioned that when you are seen as female, the voice doesn't matter. People I know & service people in a store when I present female & sometimes mention I don't have a female voice, they say it really doesn't matter because they are hearing your real character & personality. Don't sweat that you don't have a female voice. That can come in time if you want.
Jamie
Congratulations, very nice.
I'll never forget the first time that I was called "ma'am," which was last year; I wasn't trying to present as female at the time and didn't even realize what happened until after the fact. But yesterday, something that was a bit more special happened.
I hardly make any effort to make my voice pass, so I always assume that it doesn't. When I have to phone for customer service, I expect to be addressed as "sir" (though I don't like hearing it, of course). Yesterday at work, I called for tech support, and the Indian guy on the other end (who couldn't have known about me being trans) referred to me as "miss." That blew my mind :)
Quote from: Silvermist on August 11, 2013, 08:13:44 AM
I'll never forget the first time that I was called "ma'am," which was last year; I wasn't trying to present as female at the time and didn't even realize what happened until after the fact. But yesterday, something that was a bit more special happened.
I hardly make any effort to make my voice pass, so I always assume that it doesn't. When I have to phone for customer service, I expect to be addressed as "sir" (though I don't like hearing it, of course). Yesterday at work, I called for tech support, and the Indian guy on the other end (who couldn't have known about me being trans) referred to me as "miss." That blew my mind :)
Hah! Grats! :)
(and belated congratulations to you too of course Emily :) )
To date I've been "properly" ma'amed twice (I'm ignoring the time when I was 15... :P). Both of them happened over the last month, both at Heathrow airport, both in duty-free shops. I was actually presenting male at the time, as this was business travel, and had just come from the office. The first was in a standard "we sell everything" shop, where I was strolling through the perfume section. A male attendant came up to me and asked "Can I help you ma'am?". Even my rather surprised look and hectic waving of hands, accompanied by the classic "thank you, I'm just looking" did not seem to throw him (I did not even try to switch to a female voice). Second time, two weeks later, was in a chocolate speciality shop. When I went up to the cashier, she asked "Did you find everything you need ma'am?". As I paid by credit card, and showed my ticket, she saw the "Mr." & male name on the documents, which caused her to have one of those "omg, maybe they didn't hear? Should I say anything? But if they didn't hear, then I might draw their attention to it"-faces. ;)
The first time I got ma'amed was after being on HRT for about six weeks. I was flying to Las Vegas where a close cis girl friend offered to help me by letting me live for a week straight as a woman. I was presenting as male before I got on the plane, but somehow got ma'amed before, during, and after my flight there. My week with my friend was better than I thought possible, the best week of my life up to that point. Originally, I had planned to live full time in about four months or so, January 2012, when I could actually move in with my friend there in Vegas.
But on the morning I was to fly home I got so depressed that I wasn't going to be able to live as a woman for four more months I decided a few hours before the flight home I had to fly home as the real me, so my mom could see me once as Miranda. I tried to call her before she picked me up so she wouldn't freak out, but she didn't answer. She was shocked at how female I looked and very angry for a few minutes because she didn't recognize me at first and drove right past me when I couldn't flag her down! After talking to me on the way home about everything and seeing how down I was after I showered and got back into male clothes she told me I didn't have to move to Vegas to transition, I could begin as soon as I told my brother and nieces I was a transsexual, and I began living as a woman from my first day in Vegas with my friend and ever since. I'll have my two year anniversary living full time on September 7th. I only decided to come home dressed once I got ma'amed everywhere we went in Las Vegas, so getting ma'amed has had a tremendous impact on my life. If I hadn't been treated as a woman on my week long RLE, I would never have flown home as a woman, and my mom wouldn't have seen me to change her mind. I need to remember that, because I've taken it for granted that any and everyplace I've been to since going full time I've been ma'amed, save for a few times on the phone. Then it's just, "Um, excuse me, but I'm a woman..." These last 23+ months have been, by far, the happiest of my life. I doubt if I had 23 happy months combined out of my 57 years living as a male impersonator. My family and friends have asked me more times than I could count, "why didn't you do this 35 years ago? Hugs, Mira
World was very very different 35 years ago... I agree with someone who said that transitioning is hard, but doing that in the 21st century is easier.
Hi Emily and a belated congrats from me too! That first "Miss" or Ma'am" (or it's equivalent in your local language?) is indeed one of the most joyful moments we get to experience on this journey.
Thinking about language, as someone who travels quite a bit, I have been been able to enjoy the pleasure of progressively being "Ma'amed" in quite a few different languages. The one I like least is "Mein Dame" and the cutest by far has got to be Italian, the beautifully rounded "Signora".
As you also travel a bit I think, lots more firsts to come!
Hugs
Donna
Congrats Emily, is all I can say it must have been really nice! :D
Thank You everyone :)
Actually, that lady was Russian and she used the female address "девушка" - which I like very much. It literally means "young woman", but it can be politely used irrespective of the person's age. If You are 15+ - You can expect to hear it a lot and so on until You are about 40 :).
Congrats
It feels good to be called miss for the first time.. I remember, I got so excited inside... that made my day, I smiled the whole day afterwards..
I dont like been called madam.. I am only 23.. to young to be a madam...