In another thread on this board, women describe post-op arousal as accompanied by an intense physical desire to be penetrated.
Post-op lesbians: Does this cause problems for you?
Do you find the types of penetration you're able to experience with another woman satisfying?
In what may be that same thread, I identified as a post-op primarily oriented towards women... and that I don't have that desire. ;)
So, no. It seems like it'd be fun, my wife and I plan eventually to invest in toys to make it possible, but to be perfectly honest right now penetration still reminds me more of dilation than anything else. I suspect post-op arousal is a lot like it is for most people - you want what turns you on. If penetration doesn't, well.
Edit to add : It *does* feel good if I'm aroused enough, it's just not an "intense" or overwhelming physical desire. More like, oh, the way I like tongue kissing; pleasant, I enjoy it, but the session isn't hopelessly lacking if that gets skipped.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on August 15, 2013, 08:53:15 PM
In what may be that same thread, I identified as a post-op primarily oriented towards women... and that I don't have that desire. ;)
So, no. It seems like it'd be fun, my wife and I plan eventually to invest in toys to make it possible, but to be perfectly honest right now penetration still reminds me more of dilation than anything else. I suspect post-op arousal is a lot like it is for most people - you want what turns you on. If penetration doesn't, well.
Edit to add : It *does* feel good if I'm aroused enough, it's just not an "intense" or overwhelming physical desire. More like, oh, the way I like tongue kissing; pleasant, I enjoy it, but the session isn't hopelessly lacking if that gets skipped.
Thanks for your reply. I had read your post - it's the one that got me thinking on this subject.
I do have fantasies of lying on my back with someone between my legs penetrating me. If/when I get bottom surgery, I imagine it's something I'll have a physical desire to do.
Have you had desires to do that?
Problem is, I still seem only to be attracted to women. I have yet to see a man that I have the slightest attraction to.
So I'm trying to figure out what kind of sex life might satisfy me.
Strap-on?
It is a nice fantasy... and yes, strap-ons are traditional for lesbians who like that sort of thing. :) (Toys in Babeland comes highly recommended from many friends of mine, btw.)
There are plenty of options for penetration with a female partner. I wouldn't say I have an "intense desire," but penetration can be fun. And I appreciate that my girlfriend's dicks come in a variety of sizes and colours specifically suited for my body and sensibilities and aren't inconveniently attached to dudes.
I absolutely have a desire for penetration and even if my vagina ended up just one inch deep I can experience that sensation of being penetrated. Of course I would like it to be deeper and be able to feel even more filled but now it is what it is. I say that I have a lesbian vagina, it doesn't even accommodate a penis! So it´s lucky I´m a dyke ::)
I live in a pretty lez and gender queer town and I identify as lesbian dyke. Even thought I wear a bit of makeup and whatnot.. I'd only wear a dress to a funeral, but I'd wear one for you in private, and you wouldn't have to die.. lil humor there. Thanks for this... interesting posts.
Quote from: suzifrommd on August 15, 2013, 07:40:31 PM
In another thread on this board, women describe post-op arousal as accompanied by an intense physical desire to be penetrated.
I can't relate to that. An intense desire to be penetrated? What is post-op arousal, is it an arousal that occurs directly after SRS? I had SRS in 2004, directly after SRS was a while ago for me. Arousal is like the seasons and not everything remains in fashion. Just when I thought I had myself pinned down I surprised myself, again. I might even be a lesbian for all I know.
Fingers work wonders... Just sayin'
Same desires that any other lesbian has, I'd imagine. (I do have a post-op lesbian friend.) She says that she's really into tongues, fingers, and toys, but doesn't ever really imagine male penetration.
Dilation was just work, having my husband penetrate me is blissful, having our mutual female friend penetrate me is indescribable ......
Be sure to always cut your fingernails! LOL - cause you never know if you meet a lesbian women and it ends up in bed :D - and then you better hope she did the same ;)
Not really a fan of penetration - or men... I'm in a lesbian relationship & we have plenty of fun.
In lesbian relationships there is often also some form of penetration. Just fingers and such normally, but still.... (some go further of course with dildos and fisting)
Hi everyone! It is tempting to say something since I've been living as a lesbian woman for some quote a while now (about half a year after GRS/ since about one year and a half after starting HRT).
Penetration? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes it's the strapie, sometimes a finger or two. A little more often, though, it is me who uses the strapie for my lovely GF (a leather one, perfect for the skin and for using several different dildos with it). Myself, I'm not that much into penetration (giving or getting –I don't consider terms such "active/passive" and "top/bottom" as appropriate). Interesting thing: wearing a strapon was a little "tricky" the first couple of times, to say the least. Back then I got some reminiscences of dysphoria, so I would advise anyone with a MtF background to get her mind as clear of dysphoria before wearing a strapon. Most of the times, however, we are very happy with manual and oral sex in different rhythms, plays and degrees of intensity.
The good thing: if we're going to have sex, we do not automatically assume we will have any kind of penetration but rather ask one another, before or during it, what we feel like doing at any time. And no, it is not an anticlimax, but rather the opposite. If our society were not that heterocentric (and heteronormative/heterosexis), that would be the case with many other women who enjoy men for sex. In fact, I know many heterosexual women who cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone and some who do not even enjoy penetration as part of their sexual intercourse with men. Also, I know a couple of heretosexual men who enjoy having their wives or GFs penetrate them with strapons (yes, men have wholes too).
Being a lesbian says very little about a woman's desire for penetration. Want it or not, we live in a man's world and in a sexist one, and that means there are many myths and stereotypes around women's sexualities and woman-on-woman sex, while no one needs to ask, for instance, how two men have sex with each other or how a woman and a man do it. We should be careful with associations like "heterosexual – desire for penetration" vs. "lesbian – no desire for penetration". The world is a ->-bleeped-<-ing rainbow, with lots of colours and their many shades!
PS.- Inclusion of lesbian or bisexual women with MtF backgrounds, as well as of intersex women, in lesbian spaces is another topic in which stereotypes play an awful part. Let's rely on reciprocity and let's have everyone within the queer community challenge the ones that distort us all, especially queer women.
When I transitioned the first time, I shared a house in Melbourne with three lesbian women (one was my girlfriend) and the other two a couple. I must admit penetrative sex for me had too much of a Male dysphoric feeling to it, but my girlfriends introduced me to tribbing.
So when one is suitable tucked all the area of the perineum is about when the neo vagina and clitoris will be and can if you are well positioned be in the right place to allow sensuous tribbing to take place. This becomes very sensuous and after a lot of gentle foreplay often we ended up in the tribbing position. Once even all four of us end up in the King Size bed. I can tell you there was a lot of ecstatic moments.
JudithLynn
Fingers are fun, tongues are fun... And OMG! Tribbing!
No desire to ever be penetrated. Just the idea of it grosses me out. I've considered getting the version of GRS where you don't have depth (forget what it's called) instead of the standard form of GRS, but I'm undecided. Depth wouldn't serve any practical purpose for me, but maybe I'd feel like a more normal woman if I had depth... Well, not that I can afford either right now, so it doesn't matter.