Carlen Costa
Sexologist and Relationship Expert
Living in Two Worlds: Falling in Love When You're Transgender
Posted: 08/18/2013 9:16 am
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/carlen-costa/love-in-two-worlds_b_3768252.html (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/carlen-costa/love-in-two-worlds_b_3768252.html)
I am submitting this piece because sometimes the voices we need to hear most are the ones we don't often have the opportunity to hear.
My dear friend Wes is one of my favourite humans, not to mention a wicked community developer who romantically moonlights as a pretty hip barber. His life has taken him on a journey that most will not literally experience. I think it's safe to say although many of our lives undergo transitions and challenges none is comparable to that of someone who is transgender.
His most loving fiancée, a cis-gendered female is also an incredible delight and an amazing person. On the outside, most would relate to them as a typically hip and successful heterosexual, young adult couple. On the inside, they are tenacious beautiful humans in a loving, happy and healthy relationship that love, support and struggle throughout, just like the rest of us.
I wanted to share their words with you, below, as some stories just have to be told.
***
I am a man who was born a woman, and I began my transition to male about four years ago.
I'm marrying a woman who was born a woman, in three weeks.
Marriage is a curious thing, especially a straight-looking marriage like ours. We are not straight, I am not straight.
I love both men and women, the sex, their bodies, the way that many varieties of people can evoke such an intense double-take in me that I need regular chiropractic adjustments.
There is a troubling thing that happens when we look at two people in a relationship, we assume that a person's current partner is indicative of the whole of their sexual orientation.