My therapist told me about this place. I'm brand new to this... I've been transgender all my life, realized it in jr High but quashed it with help from my parents (I don't blame them, but they definitely played their role). It came back (did it ever really leave?) as a fetish for years (and years) until about a month ago... it slowly changed for a few weeks, then I came out to myself (and to my wife).
Now I identify as trans, my wife had a breakdown about it at first, but recovered (albeit not completely). My parents know - since I needed someone to talk to. I have had one therapy appointment and it was really amazing... not only is he great, but it's exactly what I needed since there's nobody else to talk to. Those few who know (wife, mother) I call "hostile supporters." My mother is trying to get me to change my mind - after all, 20+ years of this might still just be a phase. My wife is not interested in being in the same house as a woman. She says she is fine with a feminine man, though that is very limited... we're still evolving in this situation.
The kids (8, 4, 2) are mostly oblivious at this point.
The really strange part of this is that of those very few who know, I'm doing the best of them. My therapist was surprised at my positivity and humor. It saddens me that I'm causing so much hurt, but I was barely there for so long. . .
Ahoy there!
It blows to hear about your wife and mother. I bet it is incredible being in therapy, and having them to talk to must be relief. I hope things work out for the best. Welcome! :]
Hi Kabit :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
It looks like we're heading for legal separation. Everything's all up in the air, though.
This is over me needing room for exploration.
I'm just confused by everything lately... the only truth I have is that I'm female.
???
Quote from: kabit on August 20, 2013, 07:35:08 PM
It looks like we're heading for legal separation. Everything's all up in the air, though.
This is over me needing room for exploration.
I'm just confused by everything lately... the only truth I have is that I'm female.
???
Take things one day at a time. It all might look bad at the moment but all can change in a moment to all so great. I know we all do the want to please everyone and not see anyone hurt. The thing is no one is doing the same back. Its about them and trying to make you see your flaws that are not flaws but real feelings. So many never look at us as having feelings.
Keep strong, head held high and walk this path for yourself and no one else. You are a great person.
Hugs
Izzy
Hi kabit, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 7139 That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Quote from: mind is quiet now on August 20, 2013, 07:43:56 PM
Take things one day at a time. It all might look bad at the moment but all can change in a moment to all so great. I know we all do the want to please everyone and not see anyone hurt. The thing is no one is doing the same back. Its about them and trying to make you see your flaws that are not flaws but real feelings. So many never look at us as having feelings.
Keep strong, head held high and walk this path for yourself and no one else. You are a great person.
Hugs
Izzy
Thank you. It's amazing how I can go from so high, feeling great after my 1st therapy... to this point I'm at now. I'll be fine, it's just another difficult night in a difficult couple of weeks.
Welcome. I can feel you pain I have been where you are now and I am some what still going through this with some of my family . Just remember we are all here for you.
Hugs Franie
Welcome. It may be helpful to have your wife join you for a session with your therapist, or have her own consultation so that she can hear what being transgendered is all about.
When kids are involved, especially young kids, it can become ever so much more complicated. Best of luck to you.
My advice is, with your wife, keep as open lines of communication as possible. You are still the same person inside.
Quote from: Jamie D on August 20, 2013, 08:29:00 PM
Welcome. It may be helpful to have your wife join you for a session with your therapist, or have her own consultation so that she can hear what being transgendered is all about.
When kids are involved, especially young kids, it can become ever so much more complicated. Best of luck to you.
My advice is, with your wife, keep as open lines of communication as possible. You are still the same person inside.
Thank you. I'm trying as hard as I can, but I'm good at saying stupid things sometimes myself. I hope to get her to a meeting with my therapist, but she's been dead set against meeting with anyone akin to these issues. Whatever she's heard, she's heard from me... which isn't a great place to hear it (but much better than her coming up with her own ideas or listening to the general public).
Hi Kabit, welcome to Susan's Place! I hope you like it here, hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: kabit on August 20, 2013, 08:41:37 PM
Thank you. I'm trying as hard as I can, but I'm good at saying stupid things sometimes myself. I hope to get her to a meeting with my therapist, but she's been dead set against meeting with anyone akin to these issues. Whatever she's heard, she's heard from me... which isn't a great place to hear it (but much better than her coming up with her own ideas or listening to the general public).
I hope she is understanding and open to meeting the therapist in time. I know you don't want to lose her, and you don't want to lose yourself either.
Quote from: Jamie D on August 25, 2013, 04:08:17 AM
I hope she is understanding and open to meeting the therapist in time. I know you don't want to lose her, and you don't want to lose yourself either.
Thanks! I can only hope and wait and tell her I do still love her. It's mainly tough because things seem to be going so fast and yet also feel like they're moving like molasses. Well, I suppose I'm used to opposing feelings.