Usually, I am happy for Ciara to come out and be herself whenever I have an opportunity. It doesn't happen often, certainly not often enough, but that is the problem when you are in the closet.
I'm normally patient but today I feel a need to put on my hair, make up, a pretty dress, paint my nails and do girlie things for the night. I don't really understand why I feel such a need but I want Ciara to get out. Right now I want to be myself.
I know it won't happen tonight but I hope it does soon.
Do others of you who are in the closet often feel this desparate need?
Ciara.
I get that feeling most of the time and I live on my own, so there's really no reason why I can't live as a woman full time. Sometimes it's just the feeling that you have to dress up to feel normal that makes you want to dress up in the first place. Most, if not all, of my body movements while I'm alone are what I'd consider feminine (and feel perfectly natural) and I can move around in that manner quite easily. It's once I step outside that I have to think carefully how I move. If you live alone, it's far easier to live how you like. If you live with friends/family who don't know about your other side, it can be next to impossible to let the other person out. :( I remember those days well.
Chris
hi Ciara,I understand what you're saying,we all want to be the real us,we feel and know who and what we are,i suggest to find the time and place somehow and someway to be the real you in an outward manner,hugs from Miss Jill in alabama
Ciara, I totally get you, sometimes no matter what I am doing, I feel like I just want to go home to be feminine. I'll slip into jeans, yoga pants or a dress, and then feel complete, but I try to manage my feelings by sleeping in a cute sleep shirt and panties almost every night, sometimes I mosturize with a feminine lotion, that way I know I have sometime almost every day to be Amy. I hope you can find a way to have more girl time.
Hugs,
Amy
there's not much I can do to be me. It's not about clothes for me. I'm more of a tom-boy, butch lesbian, so I won't be true to myself by putting on a girly dress. well I have to be honest, there are times when I would like to wear a dress, but for me it's not a driving force. What I really need is to remove all this hair, paint my nails, wear bangles, and change my figure. and make my skin soft. and get boobs. and remove this appendage. but those latter things are not things I can do on my own.
oh yeah, I got some waxing strips. them is good. and perfume is awesome.
is there some way you can be a little bit Ciara all the time perhaps? like instead of being 100% Ciara 1% of the time, maybe you can be 5% Ciara 100% of the time?
Quote from: Yuki-jker86 on August 22, 2013, 07:39:26 PM
well I have to be honest, there are times when I would like to wear a dress, but for me it's not a driving force. What I really need is to remove all this hair, paint my nails, wear bangles, and change my figure. and make my skin soft. and get boobs. and remove this appendage. but those latter things are not things I can do on my own.
oh yeah, I got some waxing strips. them is good. and perfume is awesome.
is there some way you can be a little bit Ciara all the time perhaps? like instead of being 100% Ciara 1% of the time, maybe you can be 5% Ciara 100% of the time?
Hi Yuki,
I agree........dressing up is not the major part of being a girl for me. It goes much deeper to how I feel about myself and how I feel inside. However I do like to dress up occasionally and be a girlie girl. I suppose its the type of girl I am. Normally I dont have the type of urgency that I had the other day, maybe it was just my mood. I was a bit stressed and I find that dressing as a woman can reduce that stress.
I do understand when you say that
"What I really need is to remove all this hair, paint my nails, wear bangles, and change my figure. and make my skin soft. and get boobs. and remove this appendage". Its what I dream about. However in my circumstances it will always be a dream. I hope it may come true for you.
I do try to be a little of Ciara every day. I give a little time to her every day and that is good, but sometimes its just nice to be a girlie girl!!!
Thank you everyone for your replies. I always nice to know that you are listening.
Love,
Ciara