Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 12:49:01 PM

Title: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 12:49:01 PM
Im an ftm transgender, As of right know I do not have support from family because of my Christian background, Im still in highschool, But Thank God I only have 2 more years, Im a Jr in highschool and I came out when I was a Freshman, Im not sure how to deal with dysphoria I get fustrated at every little thing weather its about sex and not being able o get a girl pregnant, Girls talking about how good some guys look, Just looking at some guys just fustrates me, I don't like my body and on Top of that I don't really like the way I look, Everything just bothers me and I don't know how to deal with it theirs marks all up my arm
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 01:01:40 PM
Hey man, you must think about it all as something temporary. It IS temporary. It won't last for a long time!!!

You can start your hormones at the age of 16, but it depends on the country you live in. In most countries you can go on T at the age of 16, in some countries you can do it when you are 18. You can also have your top surgery at the age of 16-18 years old too. And speaking about your bottom surgery, you would have to be at least 18 years old to do it, but it's not that far away, is it?

What do you think about it? Does your family have  the financial means to support you in your transition? Even if they don't, it' not the end of the world! There are always a lot of other possibilities!
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 01:08:18 PM
My family doesn't accept me though because their Christians, I know I can get on T right kbow but my mom and dad is not gonna allow that
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 01:16:08 PM
I am not allowed to ask how old you are because here are certain rules on this forum. However, i assume you are pretty young. What about waiting for a few years until you can get your first job and you will be able to save some money? Then you will be able to transition! You will not need any support from your family.

All you can do is talk to them, you can try explaining your situation and asking for their support and  acceptance. Tell them they can't judge you based on your body and you are a guy inside and it will never change. Tell them it's not a phase and you will always feel like that. Tell them you just want to be YOURSELF and you want to be HAPPY!

However, there is always a chance they won't accept you. You just CAN'T give up then! You must fight! Don't hate your family for that though! You have to stay strong for yourself and you have to pursue your dreams no matter what. Why? Because REAL MEN do it! That's why.
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 01:24:27 PM
I don't talk to my family about me being ftm, I talk to my cisgendered female friend about it and she's very accepting so thats who I go to about everything, And I'm working on getting a job though
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 01:35:26 PM
I am happy you have a female friend, Brandon! You can share your thoughts with her and that's great.

Anyway, probably it's not the best time for you to come out to your family. You see, i don't really know too much about your situation because you haven't posted much on this forum and i don't know a lot about you. But i think you should wait for some time. It doesn't seem like the best time to come out to your family. I may be wrong, but that's cos i don't really know your family, i am just trying to help you according to the information you have posted here on this forum.

You might want to post some more info about your family and your background so we could help you more on this forum.
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 01:44:23 PM
Well my family is Christian their very religious they know I'm trans but they don't even know that I like girls and they'd kill me if they found that out, My mom thinks it just a phase and that im a Tom boy she doesn't believe that ->-bleeped-<- is real, And my dad just insist on calling me gay, So Ive already came out my dad is fine with me liking girls he just doesnt like that I'm trying to transition
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 01:52:01 PM
Brandon, you have to show them some info on ->-bleeped-<- on the internet! They must read some information on what being  transgendered really is. It seems like your parents do not know too much about this condition. You must find some good links on the internet and show them to your family, something that can really explain the concept of ->-bleeped-<-.

You have to tell them you are not gay, you are not a lesbian! You must tell them you ARE a guy and you are STRAIGHT! You are NOT a lesbian in any way. They have to understand that. It may take some time, probably a few months or even years for them to come to terms with this but i am sure they will accept you! They are your family and they will love you no matter what you are!
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 02:00:25 PM
Well It might take a few years before they get it,  My dad did say he doesn't care If I decide to do that, He still kinda takes it as a Joke though, Mom on the other hand I can't get through to her
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 02:14:56 PM
You mum will get used to that idea! You know, mothers usually take a lot more time to get used to that! That's cos usually mothers want to have a daughter that looks and acts like a daughter and not like a son. And fathers usually get used to this idea much easily, i mean it's easier for your father to see you as his son than for your mother to see you as one.

So have some patience please. Really, it's hard for them, they are going through a lot too, but trust me - if you keep telling them you are their SON and not their daughter, they WILL believe you one day and they will do whatever is possible to help you be happy.
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 02:23:25 PM
Ill see what happens though, It is alot easier for my dad then my mom he treats me more like his son anyways hes never treated me like a daughter
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: JaredLeBlanc on August 24, 2013, 02:30:21 PM
Wait and see! I am sure it will be ok for you though! PM me anytime if you feel like talking to me. I am always ready to talk to other guys. Please don't hesitate to do so when you need some advice or when you just need a person to listen to you and talk to you when you are really down and lonely.
Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: danjs34 on August 24, 2013, 07:16:48 PM
hey man,

I know how you feel with your family being Christian and not accepting. I came out to my christian parents a year ago and they still act like nothings happened. My parents sound exactly like yours, my mom doesn't believe transsexualism is a real thing and my dad seems to think that its just a phase and I'll get over it



Title: Re: How to deal with Gender Dysphoria
Post by: Brandon on August 24, 2013, 08:32:09 PM
Yea man its difficult