Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM

Title: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM
I know I feel like a guy, who likes guys. I am biologicaly male, and I am happy with the downstairs and being a guy. But part of me is female. I'm not a crossdresser that's for sure. I want to be kind of like 90% male and 10% female full-time. I'm thinking of adopting the label of "tomgirl". What kind of Androgyne am I?


Thanks.
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: Emerald on June 18, 2007, 10:00:14 PM
Quote from: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM
I know I feel like a guy, who likes guys. I am biologicaly male, and I am happy with the downstairs and being a guy. But part of me is female. I'm not a crossdresser that's for sure. I want to be kind of like 90% male and 10% female full-time. I'm thinking of adopting the label of "tomgirl". What kind of Androgyne am I?
Thanks.

Hi Nando!  :icon_biggrin:
Androgynes are not a members of the male/female binary gender system.
Androgynes don't have a male gender identity.... or a female gender identity.
An Androgyne's gender identity is not determined by adopted behaviours or by one's sexual orientation.
Like people who are homosexual, Androgynes don't choose to be Androgynes. They just are.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are completely different things.
Androgynes don't have any assigned sexual orientation, but many are pansexual or asexual.
A guy, who feels like a guy and likes guys, is a gay man. Since you asked a direct question, I would think a male who identifies as a gay man and wants to be 10% female full-time is likely an effeminate gay man, and not someone who has an Androgyne gender identity. As with other gender identities, it is not possible to choose to 'became' an Androgyne. Androgynes just are what they are.

I hope this information helps you sort things out! :icon_biggrin:
-Emerald :icon_mrgreen:
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: sparkles on June 19, 2007, 11:27:43 AM
i use the term tomgirl to discribe how i felt when i was growing up, it sort of fits really well sort of the oppersite of a tomboy  in some ways. i agree with Emerald in that androgyne is a lot more than just sexual oriantation, its more something that you just feel is right and sort of hits you when you realise it. but the fact that you feel 90-10 at them moment might simply mean that both parts of you are not yet balanced and you might want to allow that 10 percent to grow natually. i also agree that androgyne is not about clothes though these do seem to help define us to others. finding the middle ground in all this is really hard, you just need to find a nice spot in your head and stick there, someone on one of these sites said that adrogyne was about not stopping your natural responce to something and getting in the way of yourself.

hugs kerri scott 
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: RebeccaFog on July 04, 2007, 10:11:26 PM
Quote from: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM
I know I feel like a guy, who likes guys. I am biologicaly male, and I am happy with the downstairs and being a guy. But part of me is female. I'm not a crossdresser that's for sure. I want to be kind of like 90% male and 10% female full-time. I'm thinking of adopting the label of "tomgirl". What kind of Androgyne am I?

Thanks.

Hi Nando,

  I'm not trying to be funny, but what does it feel like "to feel like a guy"?   I tried to find this out in another thread, but the answers were mystical at best.
  Part of why I'm asking is because I have never ever felt like a guy, but I assumed that how I felt was like a guy because my body is male. I'm not trying to mess with your head, but maybe what you think of as feeling like a guy really is how a guy feels, or it may be what you assume how it feels.

  Oh man (or not), I can see I'm not really being helpful here.

   Wait. maybe putting it this way is better;  when you are with other men, do you commonly feel that you really fit right in with them? Or do you feel that you do not fit in with them?


Peace,

Rebecca
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: tinkerbell on July 04, 2007, 10:14:54 PM
Quote from: Emerald on June 18, 2007, 10:00:14 PM
Quote from: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM
I know I feel like a guy, who likes guys. I am biologicaly male, and I am happy with the downstairs and being a guy. But part of me is female. I'm not a crossdresser that's for sure. I want to be kind of like 90% male and 10% female full-time. I'm thinking of adopting the label of "tomgirl". What kind of Androgyne am I?
Thanks.

Hi Nando!  :icon_biggrin:
Androgynes are not a members of the male/female binary gender system.
Androgynes don't have a male gender identity.... or a female gender identity.
An Androgyne's gender identity is not determined by adopted behaviours or by one's sexual orientation.
Like people who are homosexual, Androgynes don't choose to be Androgynes. They just are.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are completely different things.
Androgynes don't have any assigned sexual orientation, but many are pansexual or asexual.
A guy, who feels like a guy and likes guys, is a gay man. Since you asked a direct question, I would think a male who identifies as a gay man and wants to be 10% female full-time is likely an effeminate gay man, and not someone who has an Androgyne gender identity. As with other gender identities, it is not possible to choose to 'became' an Androgyne. Androgynes just are what they are.

I hope this information helps you sort things out! :icon_biggrin:
-Emerald :icon_mrgreen:


I agree with Emerald 101%.

tink :icon_chick:
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: Laurry on July 05, 2007, 01:02:58 AM
Quote from: Nando on June 18, 2007, 03:57:09 PM
I know I feel like a guy, who likes guys. I am biologicaly male, and I am happy with the downstairs and being a guy. But part of me is female. I'm not a crossdresser that's for sure. I want to be kind of like 90% male and 10% female full-time. I'm thinking of adopting the label of "tomgirl". What kind of Androgyne am I?


Thanks.

Hi Nando,

Asking what kind of Androgyne you are is like asking us what number between 1 and 100 you are thinking of...only you know the true answer.  You may be androgyne or you may just be an effeminate man. 

Some questions to ask yourself:
- You say you are part male and part female.  What makes you say that?  What is male and what is female?  How do you know?
- "I'm not a crossdresser, that's for sure."  Pity.  Why not?  I'm not saying you should or shouldn't cross dress, just wondering why you phrased your comment this way.  Does crossdressing bother you?  Is it a "secret desire" or a "guilty pleasure"?  Have you ever tried it?  If so, how did it make you feel?
- How would a 90M/10F live on a full-time basis?  How would the 10% female express herself?  I would say clothes, but the above comment tends to shoot that down...makeup? Nail Polish? Lipstick? Girly home decorations?  Having a tenth of who you are that cannot express itself sounds like trouble brewing...do you agree or disagree?  Why?
- Why do you think you are or may be Androgyne?  (I know it sounds cool, but, trust me, it can be very very confusing for both yourself and those around you.) 
- What does it mean to you to be an Androgyne?  How would accepting that you are or may be an Androgyne change your life?  (Believe me, it will and does)
- Yeah, Tomgirl sounds neat, but what does that mean to you?  Why do you want to be (or think that you may be) one?

I'm not looking for a post with the answers to these, only suggesting that you may wish to consider these things while searching for your place in the gender world.

Best of luck with your soul searching...keep some tissues handy as some places the journey takes us are not pleasant and often, the tears fall as our heart breaks.

......Laurry
Title: Re: What am I? Help, pweese.
Post by: VeryGnawty on July 06, 2007, 08:45:21 PM
Quotesomeone on one of these sites said that adrogyne was about not stopping your natural responce to something and getting in the way of yourself.

It's really that simple.  At least, it is in theory.

Gender is a funny thing in that it doesn't really exist.  Everyone has their own gender, which we could call an identity.  Often, identity traits crossover between different people.

That's why I don't really consider myself male or female.  I'm just me.  At times I definitely have more male tendencies, and at other times I have more female tendencies.  The trick is letting myself be who I want to be.  It doesn't matter if I'm cute or tough (or both) because I'm still me.