I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, some of it good and some of it bad in a sense. I know earlier I had posted a topic about clinics that provide informed consent, and some of you put in your opinions on the matter. I deeply appreciate the input that you gave. When I posted the topic, I wasn't in any way leaning towards one way or the other. I wasn't saying that one way was better than the other, and therapy should still be the go to method of handling these situations if you are first starting out questioning yourself.
That being said, I am still searching for a good therapist that is willing to take me on as their next challenge. If there was a clinic where I lived where I could get informed consent, I am not saying that I would go there and get one. I have been struggling with accepting myself for a long time, although I didn't realize it at first. It was only within the last 3 years that I actually started to listen to my inner self. No one should even go on with this transition without taking into consideration the great amount of responsibility it holds.
I agree that informed consent would be a very good option for those that indeed do know what they truly want, as apposed to those that have no idea what they are getting themselves into. It wouldn't be fair to yourself, or the ones around you if you jumped into this head first without taking in consideration the fallout that could easily follow.
If I had the choice between going to a therapist for an extended amount of time to get my letter of recommendation, or to go to a clinic and get informed consent, I would go to the therapist. I know that it is the only way that I can be fair to myself. I still have personal issues I need to weigh against before I tackle this feat.
Imagine a fork in the path ahead of you. To the left you can see your true life on the horizon, but the pathway there is extremely long and very treacherous, but you know in the end where you will most likely end up. Down the other path, you see your same old life, with the same old path, with the same old problems. With the second path, you are unsure of your future, you are not even sure you will stay on the path and fall to your doom. And in the end, you will be no where closer to true happiness than you were before you chose your path. Many people have multiple paths in their lifetime, and others have fewer.
I stopped at the fork in the path and set up camp, too afraid to really go down either one. I know going left is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time, but the other path is so much easier. I could take my first step down the correct path, tomorrow, if I could just get the ideal conditions. I would like a therapist and would like to get on hormones right away. The only thing holding me back other than my genuine fear of change is my lack of extra money. It all comes down to money, especially when you are ready to change your life. I found a therapist that is willing to take me on, and I am very pleased, but she is charging $85 an hour, and I don't think I would be able to handle that for several months.
A part of me only wants therapy to get my letter of recommendation, but there is another part of me that wants to actually talk to me hearts content about my problems. Maybe just to be heard? Or maybe just because I genuinely need help.
This brings up another crossroads in my path, no matter which path I choose to take, I know that I will need to move out of this town in the near future. And where I go deeply revolves around what I choose. I would like to go somewhere along the West Coast. I have always loved Oregon and Washington, and I wouldn't mind living in California either. I have a sister in California, and I know it would be a lot easier to get help there than it would here where I am now. How do I continue on? With the little amount of money I have saved up after all my bills and rent, I cant feasibly pack up my belongings and drive half way across the country with no where to go.
Sometimes the first step is the hardest, but I believe that once you take that first step, everything will fall into place. There might be obstacles in the way, but nothing any of us can't handle. Here, we are a family, and we are hear for each other. If you see one of your brothers or sisters here having some trouble, comfort them and let them know that we are indeed a loving family. I know we all care for each other, and we don't want to see anyone fail. Help them take the first step, help them over the obstacles. In many ways this path is a team of one, you. But in other ways this is a team battle, and it is safe to seek comfort in others that may have been through the same battles you have.
Hold your head up and take that step forward, and don't look back because you are on to a bigger and better life!
I know and understand the problems of getting any sort of support when you are hours away from major metro areas. You have clearly thought about this, in detail, and are moving forward. I wish you the best.
Quote from: ThatTallGirl on August 27, 2013, 01:33:50 AM
Imagine a fork in the path ahead of you. To the left you can see your true life on the horizon, but the pathway there is extremely long and very treacherous, but you know in the end where you will most likely end up. Down the other path, you see your same old life, with the same old path, with the same old problems. With the second path, you are unsure of your future, you are not even sure you will stay on the path and fall to your doom. And in the end, you will be no where closer to true happiness than you were before you chose your path. Many people have multiple paths in their lifetime, and others have fewer.
This is exactly where I am right now. Very well put. Both paths have pitfalls... but only one leads to happiness. Choose wisely :D
It sounds like you're doing the right thing and the best you can. w/o insurance, therapy is incredibly expensive. Even with insurance, it'll be costing me ~$100/mo in copays right now (eventually I want to go to biweekly, but every week for now)... and of course nothing else is covered.
Do what you can in this world... do the best you can. That's all anyone can do!