A question and a Vent
Ok, so I hangout with a group of fellow trans girls in my area, well I have a questions to see if anyone relates, have had experience with these type of people.
Do you know trans girls/guys who talk so much to the point of being too much about transition, like every word that starts out of their mouth somehow segways into their transition?
This happens, i get it i know sometimes we just need to talk about something we all can relate to, but this girl talks in a nonstop sentence with no break so you can't interrupt, just blabbing on and on about herself, a lot of what she says we have heard her repeat before and it just gets on my nerves despite the group answering every problem she has with responses of their own, like she should have been helped already but instead she just keeps going and going and never stopping and repeating. If no one responds she will just keep going.
I wonder if she makes a lot of this up, how could someone have so much to say and repeat all of it in a different way, like expecting sympathy on the spot or something. It's just weird. Our group all comment on this to me about her and i beleive they have mentioned it to her, no one tries to be alone with her for fear of getting their ear talked off. Obviously I'm the dummy who listens to her alone.
It seems rude to brush her off and not talk to her, when does it get to a point where enough is enough because they can't take a hint?
Sometimes people talk for attention or they don't realize its rude. Often they talk and repeat themselves because they need to be heard, actually listened to. Try to get some time with just her and let her talk but listen and try to see what she is actually saying. Afterwards, tell her that you understand where she is coming from but maybe let others have a chance for their say too.
As the spotted one said!
This is a fairly typical response of insecurity. Without some care the response can hurt. If you are up to it, and be carful, ask her for a one on one talk. Be prepared to listen, interrupt and through in questions about her moods.
I say be carful as this is borderline therapy and you don't want to hurt yourself.
Thanks Cindy, thanks Kat, i feel like i understand this a little more as her insecurity and her need to be heard.
I hang out occasionally with a group and the conversation drifts all over. I think the ones earliest in transition talk the most and those full time are really over it. I guess it depends on where you are at and other common interests?
As usual TG people are just people in the end.
Some people simply don't know how to shut up :) And their being TG just means that is the focus of their inability to shut up :)
Some people can't actually talk about much of anything else. My father was a great speaker, but sadly my father also didn't know jack squat of interest outside of trains. It was always trains, it was never anything but trains and eventually even a good speaker can bore you to tears hehe.
I myself talk too damned much. My only saving grace, is I can talk all day and never repeat myself. But I do have a habit of telling people to just tell me to shut up (those specific words I tell them to say) when it is clear I have been talking too much :)
Eventually you either confront a problem or you remove yourself from the source of the problem.
I wish you the best of luck on that.
I was like that for quite some time, and I also feel it's largely about insecurity. I think I'm better now, although I do still rabbit on if I'm given the chance!
Any sort of response is borderline therapy as Cindy said. When someone has been given the understanding they are a worthless failure what they need is just a constant acceptance as a worthwhile person. Restoring self respect can be a long and hard road.
From my own experience on some of the "heavier" support groups there is a danger of being dragged down. In basic training as a therapist one of the first requirements is that we are seeing our own therapist regularly.
My view is that we can't neglect a person in this sort of need. I have my own support group and I need it. Cindy: I would appreciate your views on giving support and remaining safe.
and now understanding more about her. Thanks for sharing everyone.