I don't know if this is the right place to post this, if not sorry.
Some of you know my fiance Brody Brown.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi974.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fae224%2Falexishennen1%2FIMG_20130905_170117WinCE_zpsa094bb73.jpg&hash=15483203b4ae3a671ea2566cf998f2b9fb1a7ee8)
Well tonight his mental state went over the edge. He tried to set our apartment on fire, when i took his lighters away he punched me in the face and then tried to jump out a window (we live on the top floor of an apartment building). It took the police about 15 minutes to arrive, all the time i was holding his legs down so he could not jump. it took myself and 3 police officers to pull him back in and he still tried to fight all of us. The police smashed open my door, (they had no choice)so now i have no front door on my apartment . And all this because his family has abandoned him because of a tiny tattoo on his face (some of you have read that post) telling him that he was not welcome at his grandfathers funeral anniversary or to birthdays or anything else. I am so upset right now i can't stop shaking, since the only family that i have is here at susans, I am coming to you for support. I have no one to talk to about this. I tried calling one of the help lines here in my home town, but they seemed more upset that i was taking up there time. I don't really expect anyone here to do anything for me, just need a friendly ear.
They have taken him to the hospital where i hope he can get some help. I feel so lost right now. He suffers from borderline personality disorder, by-polar, GID, post traumatic stress, and adhd. And i can't do anything to help him..
Thanks for listening.
I am really sorry, Alexis. I do hope Brody can be stabilized.
I really doubt the tattoo was the only cause of his family's discomfort. It may have been the tipping point. There are undoubtedly deep issues that he has to work out with them. But that has to happen another day.
As for you, you really need to calm down. I know about the adrenaline rush that happens when you have to deal with a crisis situation. It is Nature's way of preparing us to do the otherwise impossible. You saved a life tonight.
I am proud of you. I don't know how bad your door is, and I hope it can be repaired by tomorrow. You are in my thoughts tonight.
Very sad to hear this.
Please give my love to Brody. Yes i was negative about the tattoo, but only in my opinion way. He, and yourself, would be more than welcome to share my table at any time. It would be an honour for me.
And my admiration and love to you for being such a strong and brave woman in hanging in to what must have been an horrific situation.
Love to you both
Cindy
Quote from: Jamie D on September 12, 2013, 12:25:31 AM
I am really sorry, Alexis. I do hope Brody can be stabilized.
I really doubt the tattoo was the only cause of his family's discomfort. It may have been the tipping point. There are undoubtedly deep issues that he has to work out with them. But that has to happen another day.
As for you, you really need to calm down. I know about the adrenaline rush that happens when you have to deal with a crisis situation. It is Nature's way of preparing us to do the otherwise impossible. You saved a life tonight.
I am proud of you. I don't know how bad your door is, and I hope it can be repaired by tomorrow. You are in my thoughts tonight.
Thank you Jamie, I am so exhausted right now. I have no idea what i will do over the next couple of days till my head get's back on track. You know, you are only the second person in my life to every say that they where proud of me. Thank you for that.
Quote from: Cindy on September 12, 2013, 02:53:02 AM
Very sad to hear this.
Please give my love to Brody. Yes i was negative about the tattoo, but only in my opinion way. He, and yourself, would be more than welcome to share my table at any time. It would be an honour for me.
And my admiration and love to you for being such a strong and brave woman in hanging in to what must have been an horrific situation.
Love to you both
Cindy
Thank you Cindy, that means so much to me right now. I wish it was a possibility but unfortunately we will never leave Canada. Brody's assault charge on a police office will never let that happen. I am still crying and shaking right now, and it's been like 8 hours since it happened. So I don't know how strong and brave i really am. Thank you again for you kind words.
I hope things turn out well for both of you,good luck and best wishes
So sorry to hear your news. :(
Over the next few days whilst he recovers, please try to take care of yourself as much as possible. You're going to need every ounce of your strength to help him (and yourself) through this. I wish you both a speedy recovery from your ordeal.
I'm also very proud of you for helping him when he needed you most.
*Hugs*
Hi Alexis, Wow a powerful moment, quick thinking & I don't know how you had the physical strength to hold your friend until the police got there, yes proud of you too cause you saved a precious life. I noticed your info page & see you live in Hamilton which isn't too far away from me in Mississauga. Your fiance Brody sounds like he has a lot of added issues than just GID, no wonder he is struggling. I have a friend who used to be bi polar. I was surprised that the help line was no help. Do you live in Hamilton or a little outside of the city?
If you have a car I may have a a medical office & support groups one of which I went to for the first time last night (it meets once a month for trans people) Every Thursday night 6 to 8 pm is lgbtqia support which I am probably going to tonight. I will provide the organization phone & email info. here:
East Mississauga Community Health Centre. 2555 Dixie Rd. Unit 7 Mississauga. It is on the South East corner of Dixie and Dundas St. behind an Esso gas station. You could speak to Sofia who heads up the support program. The main phone number is (905) 602- 4082 Sofia's extension is 456. Two other contact alternative are: sofia@lampchc.org or transactiveate@gmail.com
Here is a link to the web site for info & direction map.
https://maps.google.ca/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF-8&q=East+Mississauga+Community+Health+Centre&fb=1&gl=ca&hq=east+mississauga+community+health+center&cid=0,0,9425336863552709629&ei=g7UxUuarKOjN2wXAzoHABw&ved=0CJABEPwSMA0
If you can make it tonight I think we have a fairly good idea of what we look like. I could meet you there. I will pm you my phone number if you are around today & see this if you can make it to the support group. With Brody in the hospital getting the help he needs, you could come to the EMCHC to get the help & support you need. I will see some of the people I saw last night, we had a wonderful exchange, sharing & a lot of laughs, I am sure you will make friends & that is part of what a I went there for.
I hope we get in contact.
Be good to yourself
Hugs
Jamie
Quote from: big kim on September 12, 2013, 06:50:00 AM
I hope things turn out well for both of you,good luck and best wishes
Thank you Kim...
Quote from: FTMDiaries on September 12, 2013, 07:07:36 AM
So sorry to hear your news. :(
Over the next few days whilst he recovers, please try to take care of yourself as much as possible. You're going to need every ounce of your strength to help him (and yourself) through this. I wish you both a speedy recovery from your ordeal.
I'm also very proud of you for helping him when he needed you most.
*Hugs*
Thank you FTMDiaries.
Quote from: Jamiep on September 12, 2013, 07:47:39 AM
Hi Alexis, Wow a powerful moment, quick thinking & I don't know how you had the physical strength to hold your friend until the police got there, yes proud of you too cause you saved a precious life. I noticed your info page & see you live in Hamilton which isn't too far away from me in Mississauga. Your fiance Brody sounds like he has a lot of added issues than just GID, no wonder he is struggling. I have a friend who used to be bi polar. I was surprised that the help line was no help. Do you live in Hamilton or a little outside of the city?
If you have a car I may have a a medical office & support groups one of which I went to for the first time last night (it meets once a month for trans people) Every Thursday night 6 to 8 pm is lgbtqia support which I am probably going to tonight. I will provide the organization phone & email info. here:
East Mississauga Community Health Centre. 2555 Dixie Rd. Unit 7 Mississauga. It is on the South East corner of Dixie and Dundas St. behind an Esso gas station. You could speak to Sofia who heads up the support program. The main phone number is (905) 602- 4082 Sofia's extension is 456. Two other contact alternative are: sofia@lampchc.org or transactiveate@gmail.com
Here is a link to the web site for info & direction map.
https://maps.google.ca/maps?oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&ie=UTF-8&q=East+Mississauga+Community+Health+Centre&fb=1&gl=ca&hq=east+mississauga+community+health+center&cid=0,0,9425336863552709629&ei=g7UxUuarKOjN2wXAzoHABw&ved=0CJABEPwSMA0
If you can make it tonight I think we have a fairly good idea of what we look like. I could meet you there. I will pm you my phone number if you are around today & see this if you can make it to the support group. With Brody in the hospital getting the help he needs, you could come to the EMCHC to get the help & support you need. I will see some of the people I saw last night, we had a wonderful exchange, sharing & a lot of laughs, I am sure you will make friends & that is part of what a I went there for.
I hope we get in contact.
Be good to yourself
Hugs
Jamie
Thank you Jamie, I will try to get in touch with you later this afternoon, i have an appointment in St. Catherin's around 1pm.. Will you be home after that?
I live in dirty old Hamilton. So thank you for the group information. I will think about it.
Alexis.
*hugs* I hope everything ends up alright, just remember to be strong. But it's ok to be sad or to let your feelings out. *hugs again*
Hi Alexis, Yes, I will be around this afternoon. I will probably leave for the support group about 5:45 pm. The larger more encompassing group, I haven't been to before so if you come it will be the first time for both of us. Just be yourself, take a big deep breath & relax. No one forces you to say anything if you don't feel like doing so. With my first time being there last night of course my introduction was in order & I feel that is a real ice breaker. I just kept my intro brief.
If you come I can give you further driving directions or come drive to my place & we can go in one car. Whatever works best for you.
In a difficult situation for you, I am glad you reached out & that we actually live about 30 minutes away from each other down the Queen Elizabeth Highway, so I am pleased if I can help give you an opportunity to find a chance to talk in a supportive environment, vent, decompress & meet some new friends. You are encouraged to dress express your gender, there are neutral washroom/change rooms if you want to change there. There were snack available last night & probably tonight too if you didn't get dinner & need something to hold you over. I was invited to join some of the people after at a nearby Tim Hortons. I think they do that after. We could do that or a pub after if you feel like talking some more. Not meaning to be pushy. Just some options. Play it by ear.
Talk to you later.
Jamie
Just wanted to pop in and say good for you Alexis. Brody is in care right now, take this time to look after yourself for a while. When Brody comes back home he will need your support more then ever so try to recharge yourself so you can be there for him.
Alexis, I'm sorry to read what Brody attempted. But very thankful to hear of the outcome. My prayers are with you both. I hope he gets the treatment that he so needs. May you both find the strength to get through this hard time.
Hugs
Bethany Dawn
Alexis, I hope Brody recovers and I hope everything works out for the two of you.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Hi Alexis, I am pleased that you phoned me. Hope I didn't bore you, I did say I am shy but I think I did most of the talking, just say,"shut up Jamie." lol I know you have a lot on your plate & understand why you can't make it to the support group tonight. Best wishes to Brody that he is calmed down & being cared for, have a good visit with your loved SO. You know you have options in my area if you feel the need & you will be warmly welcomed.
Make time for yourself to be Happy & the Beautiful you.
Anytime...you know where to reach me. Love to both of you.
Jamie
Quote from: Darkie on September 12, 2013, 09:08:58 AM
*hugs* I hope everything ends up alright, just remember to be strong. But it's ok to be sad or to let your feelings out. *hugs again*
Thank you for the support and hugs Darkie.
Quote from: White Rabbit on September 12, 2013, 10:34:43 AM
Just wanted to pop in and say good for you Alexis. Brody is in care right now, take this time to look after yourself for a while. When Brody comes back home he will need your support more then ever so try to recharge yourself so you can be there for him.
I will and thank you White Rabbit.
Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 12, 2013, 10:44:17 AM
Alexis, I'm sorry to read what Brody attempted. But very thankful to hear of the outcome. My prayers are with you both. I hope he gets the treatment that he so needs. May you both find the strength to get through this hard time.
Hugs
Bethany Dawn
Thank you Bethany, I really do feel the love of this family.
Quote from: Constance on September 12, 2013, 12:34:24 PM
Alexis, I hope Brody recovers and I hope everything works out for the two of you.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Thank you Constance, So many hugs from everyone, I wish they were real...
Quote from: Jamiep on September 12, 2013, 02:23:35 PM
Hi Alexis, I am pleased that you phoned me. Hope I didn't bore you, I did say I am shy but I think I did most of the talking, just say,"shut up Jamie." lol I know you have a lot on your plate & understand why you can't make it to the support group tonight. Best wishes to Brody that he is calmed down & being cared for, have a good visit with your loved SO. You know you have options in my area if you feel the need & you will be warmly welcomed.
Make time for yourself to be Happy & the Beautiful you.
Anytime...you know where to reach me. Love to both of you.
Jamie
you where wonderful to talk to , thank you for your time.. and thank you for the love. Thank ALL of you. i really to appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
Sadly things have not gotten better. They tell me that my door (for some strange reason) needs to be custom made and may take up to two weeks to get. And I will also have to pay for the door, which i understand as it had nothing to do with the property owners, it's just something else i really didn't need right now. He also hinted at the idea that he is on the line about evicting us because as he put it "You need to get this stuff in order, we can't have to police here all the time.". Now I don't know if he can actually evict us because of that but again just something else I really didn't need to hear right now.
I was able to talk with Brody briefly over the phone , and he is OK, still very depressed and upset but better. The hospital is UNDECIDED if they are going to admit him or not. I just don't understand them sometimes. I go to the hospital with depression bordering on suicide and they admit me for 6 weeks, He actually attempts it and they are unsure what to do???? I haven't told him that i posted this yet, not sure how he would feel about his personal life be broadcast over the internet, but i am sure he will be touched with all the love that people are sending his and my way....
Thanks again.
Alexis.
Big hug! Sorry I'm late in on the thread. Sending my best wishes out to both of you, hugs, Devlyn
You must have been very mentally strong to deal with that and very compassionate and understanding. I hope everything works out for you, really I do. You need your support networks to so I wouldn't worry about posting it. You do what you have to do, to keep going and support those who you love.
x
^-^hi all. Brody here. thank you for all the support you have given my fiance because her saddness and fustration was due to my lack of being some what of a smart or caring person. i messed up, i admit it. i feel horrible and wish i could take it all back but i can't. i have some issues to deal with and its hard yes but its no excuse for what i did, but im human right? but yes your right, i have a very loving, compassionate and lets not forget forgiving, fiance. shes taken a lot of grief from me over the years and yet still loves me. damn am i ever luckey. ;D i am sorry if i upset anyone, my anger and impulsiveness added with beer never makes for a good ending. but thank you again for supporting her and me and i hope everyone has a better weekend then im going to have. (bruising and cuts from all of this mindless crap) :icon_help:
Edited for profanity.
Thank you Alexis and Brody for sharing your charged, loving and dramatic life with us. I have followed you from this computer distance but feel a real warmth for you and concern about your hassles. Yes we create many of them ourselves?
We all need forgiveness along the way as we/I will surely FU again.
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 13, 2013, 01:58:46 PM
^-^hi all. Brody here. thank you for all the support you have given my fiance because her saddness and fustration was due to my lack of being some what of a smart or caring person. i messed up, i admit it. i feel horrible and wish i could take it all back but i can't. i have some issues to deal with and its hard yes but its no excuse for what i did, but im human right? but yes your right, i have a very loving, compassionate and lets not forget forgiving, fiance. shes taken alot of grief from me over the years and yet still loves me. damn am i ever luckey. ;D i am sorry if i upset anyone, my anger and impulsiveness added with beer never makes for a good ending. but thank you again for supporting her and me and i hope everyone has a better weekend then im going to have. (bruising and cuts from all of this mindless crap) :icon_help:
Brody, there are no excuses for domestic violence. This time you ended up in the ER. Next time you may end up in jail. You need to get your act together. I suggest immediate domestic abuse counseling.
Edited quote.
Quote from: Jamie D on September 13, 2013, 02:26:16 PM
Brody, there are no excuses for domestic violence. This time you ended up in the ER. Next time you may end up in jail. You need to get your act together. I suggest immediate domestic abuse counseling.
you NEED to stop telling me how to live my life. you weren't here and i never said domestic violence was okay and i didn't give any excuses. so maybe you should get some counseling on how to talk to the mentally ill.
Brody, I'm really glad you are ok! *hugs*
Hope you're doing OK, Brody. I'm an alcoholic, I've done some silly things, you put them behind you and move on. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 13, 2013, 05:32:05 PM
you NEED to stop telling me how to live my life. you weren't here and i never said domestic violence was okay and i didn't give any excuses. so maybe you should get some counseling on how to talk to the mentally ill.
Brody, you did make excuses. You blamed your actions on "anger, impulsiveness, added with beer."
I am a little surprised that anyone here would applaud spousal abuse, including striking your partner, and trying to kill her by burning your apartment down.
You also posted a "help" emoticon. Seeking counseling is my helpful advise. The first steps toward changing your behavior is to admit you have a problem, and then act on that.
You may not like the message, but the alternative is killing yourself and/or your partner - which you almost did.
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 13, 2013, 01:58:46 PM
^-^hi all. Brody here. thank you for all the support you have given my fiance because her saddness and fustration was due to my lack of being some what of a smart or caring person. i messed up, i admit it. i feel horrible and wish i could take it all back but i can't. i have some issues to deal with and its hard yes but its no excuse for what i did, but im human right? but yes your right, i have a very loving, compassionate and lets not forget forgiving, fiance. shes taken alot of grief from me over the years and yet still loves me. damn am i ever luckey. ;D i am sorry if i upset anyone, my anger and impulsiveness added with beer never makes for a good ending. but thank you again for supporting her and me and i hope everyone has a better weekend then im going to have. (bruising and cuts from all of this mindless crap) :icon_help:
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 13, 2013, 05:32:05 PM
you NEED to stop telling me how to live my life. you weren't here and i never said domestic violence was okay and i didn't give any excuses. so maybe you should get some counseling on how to talk to the mentally ill.
Brody, I know people make mistakes and they move on, and I am really glad your fiancée gives you love and support. But, I don't think what Jamie said was wrong; I do criminal prosecutions with the law firm I work at, every Wednesday we go to court and do file after file of guys (some girls too) who punch their spouse in the face. Most prosecutions for our department, along with the others in the area, are pretty much 50% DV and 50% DUIs. Reading the opening post, I am surprised you aren't facing charges. In my jurisdiction, if the police came for what was described in the OP, there would be an automatic "no contact" order put in place between you and your fiancée, and likely the charge won't be dropped until you did 20 hours of DV counseling if you're lucky. Whether you like it or not, punching your girl is DV, the other acts in the post sound like a domestic disorderly.
That doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it does mean you should find some help. You said you're mentally ill, but that's not an excuse for hitting someone, and I really hope you work these things out so you and your fiancée can continue living together happily.
I hope you don't hate me for saying that, but I do see this stuff on a weekly basis, and I know things can get a lot worse if things aren't taken care of--likewise, I've also seen many of the couples work together to conquer their problems and they move on. Jamie only made the suggestion with your and your fiancée's best interest in mind, and so do I.
Edited quote.
Brody I hope you are going to be OK and things work out for both of you.Please take advice and make sure this doesn't happen again.Godd luck and best wishes to both of you
Good to see you are OK Brody.
You gave half the world a massive scare, never mind just your fiancee!!
One step and one day at a time.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 13, 2013, 06:43:30 PM
Brody, I know people make mistakes and they move on, and I am really glad your fiancée gives you love and support. But, I don't think what Jamie said was wrong; I do criminal prosecutions with the law firm I work at, every Wednesday we go to court and do file after file of guys (some girls too) who punch their spouse in the face. Most prosecutions for our department, along with the others in the area, are pretty much 50% DV and 50% DUIs. Reading the opening post, I am surprised you aren't facing charges. In my jurisdiction, if the police came for what was described in the OP, there would be an automatic "no contact" order put in place between you and your fiancée, and likely the charge won't be dropped until you did 20 hours of DV counseling if you're lucky. Whether you like it or not, punching your girl is DV, the other acts in the post sound like a domestic disorderly.
That doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it does mean you should find some help. You said you're mentally ill, but that's not an excuse for hitting someone, and I really hope you work these things out so you and your fiancée can continue living together happily.
I hope you don't hate me for saying that, but I do see this stuff on a weekly basis, and I know things can get a lot worse if things aren't taken care of--likewise, I've also seen many of the couples work together to conquer their problems and they move on. Jamie only made the suggestion with your and your fiancée's best interest in mind, and so do I.
look, i understand what i did was wrong but i am NOT making excuses, yes, i was drunk, yes, i have mental illnesses, and i was angry and thank you because i feel bad enough as is, :police: but me and my fiance have worked thru this and its not like im some hungry ass DV diviant who punches my girl out daily because it feels good. its was a mistake. don't you think if it was that seriious that the POLICE who WERE here would of done something, as in a DV charge or whatever you call it? they call the shots not me or my fiance. so please stop badgering me about this, im sorry, what else can i say. i messed up. end of story.
Edited for profanity.
Quote from: Cindy on September 14, 2013, 02:07:40 AM
Good to see you are OK Brody.
You gave half the world a massive scare, never mind just your fiancee!!
One step and one day at a time.
Hugs
Cindy
hey sweets. thanks for the nice post. one step at a time is right. one day, one hour, one minute. i will conquer these demons with my fiance by my side. much hugs back to you.
Just get the help that you need. We want to hear about you getting better.
I am, thank you. Furry logic is all I have to say. ::) the time will come when i am at my best and the world will know Brody! >:-)
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 14, 2013, 07:50:48 AM
look, i understand what i did was wrong but i am NOT making excuses, yes, i was drunk, yes, i have mental illnesses, and i was angry and thank you because i feel bad enough as is, :police: but me and my fiance have worked thru this and its not like im some hungry ass DV diviant who punches my girl out daily because it feels good. its was a mistake. don't you think if it was that seriious that the POLICE who WERE here would of done something, as in a DV charge or whatever you call it? they call the shots not me or my fiance. so please stop badgering me about this, im sorry, what else can i say. i messed up. end of story.
Well, I wish you two the best .
Edited quote.
OK, I've extensively edited this thread. Let's remember we're on a public area of the Forums and the following rule applies:
11. Foul or obscene language, and/or subjects belongs on the street, Please do not bring it on to my site.
Now form a line behind this girl:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1279.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy537%2FDevlynMarie%2Fsoap_zps3eefa760.jpg&hash=f313ee8e4f448970e9c08668ef69965d9ed57b8c)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 14, 2013, 11:29:08 AM
OK, I've extensively edited this thread. Let's remember we're on a public area of the Forums and the following rule applies:
11. Foul or obscene language, and/or subjects belongs on the street, Please do not bring it on to my site.
Now form a line behind this girl:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1279.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy537%2FDevlynMarie%2Fsoap_zps3eefa760.jpg&hash=f313ee8e4f448970e9c08668ef69965d9ed57b8c)
i apologize for getting "over heated" i've just had a really rough couple of days and i don't appritiate being told what to do by someone who wasn't here. but yes, i will form a congruent line behind 'soap in the mouth'. sorry again. :icon_blah:
I know you did. Glad to see you posting. Now come here and give me a hug. <hiding soap behind back>
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on September 14, 2013, 12:55:45 PM
I know you did. Glad to see you posting. Now come here and give me a hug. <hiding soap behind back>
Thank you. you got a smile out of me, now don't drop the soap!!! HUGZZZ!!!! :angel:
Quote from: Brody Brown on September 14, 2013, 01:07:37 PM
Thank you. you got a smile out of me, now don't drop the soap!!! HUGZZZ!!!! :angel:
And you just got a smile out of me! First time someone has turned my soap picture around on me. I declare today's winner to be Bbbbbbbroddddddyyyyy Bbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrooowwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn!
*hugs Brody* I like the new avatar!